deepundergroundpoetry.com
. .T O M. .
Oh her sweet, valentine
feral thoughts, become you
Wishing the way she loves herself
watching the way she, lives, unaware...
And the seasons come and go
cold to warm to hot, beneath her window
Does she know, she makes you see her exhales turn purple in the mist?
imagining gloved fist spread thighs ~ for a kiss?
No.
She's so selfish.
Her ignorance shall be ~ your bliss...
She shouldn't ever have called you there
using ass naked tea parties as your, calling card
She should fear the work you do
She should only wish ~ for a man like you...
And she will love you, yes, she will
the way you've, memorized the stuffed animals on her bed
.. and every single prescription pill..
Ohhh, boy - does she know you die 10 to 20 deaths
within the stroke of a wrist
stroke of a wrist, stroke of a wrist
stroke
uhh
of a
Mmmm
wrist?
There, right there
.. beneath her window?
feral thoughts, become you
Wishing the way she loves herself
watching the way she, lives, unaware...
And the seasons come and go
cold to warm to hot, beneath her window
Does she know, she makes you see her exhales turn purple in the mist?
imagining gloved fist spread thighs ~ for a kiss?
No.
She's so selfish.
Her ignorance shall be ~ your bliss...
She shouldn't ever have called you there
using ass naked tea parties as your, calling card
She should fear the work you do
She should only wish ~ for a man like you...
And she will love you, yes, she will
the way you've, memorized the stuffed animals on her bed
.. and every single prescription pill..
Ohhh, boy - does she know you die 10 to 20 deaths
within the stroke of a wrist
stroke of a wrist, stroke of a wrist
stroke
uhh
of a
Mmmm
wrist?
There, right there
.. beneath her window?
Published 29th Jan 2011
| Edited 29th Mar 2021
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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The author encourages honest critique.
well done! a snip in the life of a stalker/peeping tom, very creative. [:
"does she know you die 10 to 20 deaths
within the stroke of a wrist
stroke of a wrist, stroke of a wrist" - my favourite line!
the one thing that sort of nagged at me was the presence of all the commas in the first stanza. maybe breaking the lines at those points would provide the same effect and improve the flow? but i'm new to poetry and just popping in my opinion. [:
i really like what you've done, thanks for the great read.
"does she know you die 10 to 20 deaths
within the stroke of a wrist
stroke of a wrist, stroke of a wrist" - my favourite line!
the one thing that sort of nagged at me was the presence of all the commas in the first stanza. maybe breaking the lines at those points would provide the same effect and improve the flow? but i'm new to poetry and just popping in my opinion. [:
i really like what you've done, thanks for the great read.
30th Jan 2011 3:13am
