Happy Pain

Throwing the souls into the pit,
Letting the demon inside me take hold.
Trying to resist
But the control was handed over long ago.

Painful, acid-like tears
Burning my cheeks.
Hateful words echo in my head,
But, why you might ask?
I don't know.

Sometimes the acid rolling down
My face feels good.
Sometimes I allow
And thrive on the pain.
Sometimes I even ask for it.
But that doesn't mean you can throw it in my face to the point of no return!

Many nights I lay thinking of
A thousand problems rolling through my head,
While only five of them
Aren't made up scenarios that I decided are real.

Pain with no reasons is the most
Delightful kind that you can have.
It feels like a five foot sword is
Being plunged into my stomach:
Twisting,
And twisting.
No matter how many other kinds
Of suffering you may induce on me,
The fake problems are the best
And the worst.

Thriving on the pain,
I go to sleep.
Understanding now.
But not why I hurt,
But why I shouldn't.
Understanding why you shouldn't hurt,
But why others might is the
Most sorrow you can ever have.