deepundergroundpoetry.com
Vanilla
I dream of intimacy
More specific a man’s touch
To feel a pair of strong arms around me
Tantalizing
I miss the touch of a man so much
His lips to mine
And to other places as well
My body aches for it
Aches for the kink
Crossing boundaries
And pushing limits
The power of touch
Achingly need
Craving the other
And it is an ache
It even hurts as I plead…touch me
To want
To need
Crave something and never receive
Or when you do, it’s just vanilla
Damn, this is hell
More specific a man’s touch
To feel a pair of strong arms around me
Tantalizing
I miss the touch of a man so much
His lips to mine
And to other places as well
My body aches for it
Aches for the kink
Crossing boundaries
And pushing limits
The power of touch
Achingly need
Craving the other
And it is an ache
It even hurts as I plead…touch me
To want
To need
Crave something and never receive
Or when you do, it’s just vanilla
Damn, this is hell
Published 2nd Jan 2011
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2nd Jan 2011 10:12pm
the expression of lonliness and longing for intimacy comes across great, and i think you should simply stay with this premise throughout and not mix writing with it, accentuate more the physical and emotional longing, perhaps more specific stuff within you, and I think the poem would be much more powerful and forthright.
the writing part of the poem could be another poem entirely, so, essentially, I think you have two poems here.
the writing part of the poem could be another poem entirely, so, essentially, I think you have two poems here.
2nd Jan 2011 10:38pm
