Why?

   Why does it hurt so much not being able to talk to you? Why must I be so selfish?! I thought I lost all my feelings for you! I thought I hated you! You meant nothing to me! But... Why does my heart hurt so much? Why do I feel this void now?    
   
   Not so long time ago you told me you still love me and suddenly my cheeks blushed, my heart raced, I was left speechless. I started stuttering and didn't know how to react. WHY?! JUST WHY MUST I LOVE YOU SO DAMN MUCH?! All I do is keep pushing you away... Yes. I get jealous, start to over react, am always worried about you, am always trying to help you in any possible and impossible way... Just... Why?... Why must I love you so damn much?...  
   
   Here I stand helpless and left for dead. I close my eyes, so many days are passing by me. I'm always trying to find what's right. I'm trying to see through you but each time I find myself gazing into your eyes. I believe you are the one for me, so I still hold on to this last strand of hope before I say goodbye to everyone. I shall spread my wings in the abyss of the pain of love. Where shall this love for you lead me, I do not know. For some reason, I can still see you holding that last candle for me while I'm helplessly trying to catch up with you. To me it seems as if you're always running away but at the same time, you are still holding that candle for me. It's as if you're leading me back to the world of hope and joy in which I can spread my wings and shine.    
   
   I will always keep chasing after you, even if the candle goes out. I will call out your name and even if you don't answer me I will still keep on going in order to find you so I can simply whisper these words to you ''I love you now, forever and always''.