deepundergroundpoetry.com
Lost, not found.
I hate you now, so very much,
it seems I've fallen, out of touch...
On my knees, and out of breath,
I feel you coming, a touch of death...
You use to be here, on my mind,
now still there, too lost to find...
Washed away by anger, despair,
Its never too late to watch or stare...
You've taken from me, my heart my pride,
you hurt me so much, deep inside...
The pain I feel, too deep to find,
burning so bright, that i could be blind...
I hate you more, then i did before,
I hate you so much, i just don't care anymore...
Fallen so hard, to the cold, hard ground...
And now lay there silently,
lost but not found.
it seems I've fallen, out of touch...
On my knees, and out of breath,
I feel you coming, a touch of death...
You use to be here, on my mind,
now still there, too lost to find...
Washed away by anger, despair,
Its never too late to watch or stare...
You've taken from me, my heart my pride,
you hurt me so much, deep inside...
The pain I feel, too deep to find,
burning so bright, that i could be blind...
I hate you more, then i did before,
I hate you so much, i just don't care anymore...
Fallen so hard, to the cold, hard ground...
And now lay there silently,
lost but not found.
Published 16th Sep 2009
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17th Sep 2009 10:06am
Your wordplay is brilliant, and your syntax is impeccably consistent.
It is quite dark, the tone, established by the first line consisting of the word "hate." Your word choices and phrasing is throughly relevant to the theme.
The poem is quite direct, and I like that. It's a straight up, "fuck you & piss off" kind of attitude, cleverly designed, and yet interwines in itself a harsh reality of hopelessness and theme of "[being] lost."
It is quite dark, the tone, established by the first line consisting of the word "hate." Your word choices and phrasing is throughly relevant to the theme.
The poem is quite direct, and I like that. It's a straight up, "fuck you & piss off" kind of attitude, cleverly designed, and yet interwines in itself a harsh reality of hopelessness and theme of "[being] lost."
