The Infection of The Mind

I stand here, confronted by my reflection,
As I do so, I feel something within me change, in my mind - the start of an infection,
An infection that will soon destroy who I am, who I once was and who I plan to become,
It’ll annihilate every trace of kindness within me - cause me to become oblivious and numb,
I’ll refuse to listen and will enter a world of my own,
Where nothing matters and where I can finally be alone,

I stare blankly into my own lifeless eyes, wondering what has become of me,
Wondering how I let myself become this way and wondering if this is what others see,
I loathe my reflection yet know that it’s full of lies,
Lies that I’ve convinced myself are true – I created a new disguise,
A disguise to hide behind that’ll slowly override the “real” me and conquer my mind,
Making me believe that I am not worthy, not good enough and, to the truth, I am blind,

I feel the infection, the lies, coursing through my veins,
Infecting every part of my body – my muscles, my brain,
Changing every aspect of my personality,
Changing the way I think, affecting my mentality,
I’ve become deluded, crazed by the lies I believe,
But there’s always a lie in believe, yet I am still deceived,
I know that the lies are killing the person I am,
But the infection is controlling my mind, every brain stem,

I still stand here, but now I see nothing in my reflection,
I have simply become part of the nothingness caused by the infection,
I am now only a reflection – empty, bleak and hated,
But this hatred I cannot feel, for I am numb and my mind vacated,
My mind vacated to somewhere dark and to a place that scares me,
I’m a threat to myself most days as my mind ceases to leave me be,
It overthinks, convinces itself that I shouldn’t have the privilege of breathing,
It refuses to rest and prevents me from sleeping,
But the infection has left a small portion of my soul unaffected,
And this part of my soul enlightens the rest of my dark, vacant body that the infection injected,
It reminds me of who I am and of what I am worth and allows me to live once again,
It’s slowly acting as an antidote to the infection, reducing the power it has over my brain,

This small portion of my soul could easily cave in,
But I’m a fighter and I have strength within,
Strength that’ll conquer the infection and shed some light,
It’ll take commitment, determination and time, but I’ll put up a fight,
I’ll ignite the fire in deep depths of my soul,
And this’ll evaporate the poison from my bones,
And then I’ll be able to live again, be me and be free,
I’ll be able to socialise and see who I want to see,
I’ll expel these demons and lies that restrain me,
And I’ll finally become who I want to be.