bad chemistry

i sit here and wonder why
it seems that its impossible
for tears to come from my eyes

i think deep and know its
a healthy release from pain
yet i feel no tears on my face

i am not sad at all
but feel i need a release
from these chains that hold me

i am bound and dont know
why i am unable to feel emotion
the pain is unberrable at times

i stand tall and smile
get up everyday and look forward
to what may surprise me

wanting to and being alive has always
been a goal to achieve for me while
my mind keeps me from grasping this thing

i will fight you
to the bitter end
i love my mind