deepundergroundpoetry.com
80 year old Raisin
Most 80 year-olds don’t do drugs
A raisin is no better than a grape
Is there really a purpose to life?
A raisin is no better than a grape
Is there really a purpose to life?
Published 18th Jul 2013
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 5
reading list entries 0
comments 5
reads 632
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
18th Jul 2013 7:34pm
Each of the statements could be a poem itself. I see poems here really to be written more fully by you.
marcella1
marcella1
18th Jul 2013 8:27pm
...wanted to make it more of a quirky haiku than a
full on....
Thanks Marcella!
full on....
Thanks Marcella!
19th Jul 2013 6:55pm
I believe said purpose would be down to the individual in making it so.
Love the imagery of the Rasin and 80 year old, my mum would be mortified LOL.
Great Haiku.
Love the imagery of the Rasin and 80 year old, my mum would be mortified LOL.
Great Haiku.
19th Jul 2013 7:26pm
Just add a water and the raisin is a grape again. You've succeeded in evoking quirkiness.
Anonymous
25th Jul 2013 8:50pm
Most 80 year olds take about 14 drugs....
The next generation of 80 year olds - 15-20 years from now will be craving mj for pain...old hippies....
I see potential in your poem.
I agree that each line could be a poem by itself.
Finally you need to write a poem, then let it sit.
Look at it later and you will see what you need to do.
Welcome to DUP New Member
Write on!
Kitty
The next generation of 80 year olds - 15-20 years from now will be craving mj for pain...old hippies....
I see potential in your poem.
I agree that each line could be a poem by itself.
Finally you need to write a poem, then let it sit.
Look at it later and you will see what you need to do.
Welcome to DUP New Member
Write on!
Kitty
