Counting Glitter- Diary Entry

Last night, I had a dream of a wishing well.
Pretty stone In your backyard.
But...  I didn't have a penny.
Only a fist full of glitter.

Just before I threw it, I looked down at my hand.
White. Beautiful. Ash colored glitter.
I remember when you gave it to me.
Like a promise.
Pretty glitter.

Then all of a sudden out of know where, you walk on by.
It's so strange how we've become strangers over night.
I used to know you so well. Like you knew me.
You walked on by as if you've never known me.
As if I were merely a peasant.
Sitting by herself.... counting glitter.

For a moment... I felt warm. You were near.
But you kept on walking and there wasn't anything I could do to stop you. Please stop.
I beg you.

What am I doing? I am happy. I wanted this.
It's the right thing!
FOR EVERYONE. For me.
For Him
...
Him.... Why Wont it stop.
Why Wont it stay better.
WHY CANT I STAY BETTER?

I get up off my knees and watch the glitter fall.
Like diamonds. A refection of us.
A Refection of you...
and right before it all hits the bottom, I see a reflection of myself.
not something I am proud of.

Then I wake, roll over and hug you because your still there.
right there beside me. finally!!!!! your not away anymore. your mine.  I start to cry. I cant stop. I look at you breathing into my hair. ha ha!
my silly hair. always in your face.
you hug me back and i whisper you'll be free soon baby... I promise... I am so sorry. Let go.