deepundergroundpoetry.com
Prelude To A Dream
Still and solemn,
Drifting,
Sifting through
A filmstrip of events,
Moments
Rolling by,
Visual, graphic, muted,
Undisputed
Not suited
For retelling,
Dispelling substantive certainty,
Dreams inadvertently
Convey unconfuted fact,
It's how we interact with
Or better yet hack with,
Things we don't quite
Know,
Don't quite want,
Don't quite understand,
Don't quite realize,
Can't quite dream.
Decamping from days until dawn
A yawn
That signifies travel,
Wrapped in comfort,
Nestled in nuance,
Fluid flow of rest.
http://www.digitalpoet.net/poetry.html
Drifting,
Sifting through
A filmstrip of events,
Moments
Rolling by,
Visual, graphic, muted,
Undisputed
Not suited
For retelling,
Dispelling substantive certainty,
Dreams inadvertently
Convey unconfuted fact,
It's how we interact with
Or better yet hack with,
Things we don't quite
Know,
Don't quite want,
Don't quite understand,
Don't quite realize,
Can't quite dream.
Decamping from days until dawn
A yawn
That signifies travel,
Wrapped in comfort,
Nestled in nuance,
Fluid flow of rest.
http://www.digitalpoet.net/poetry.html
Published 15th Jul 2013
| Edited 23rd Jul 2013
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
16th Jul 2013 7:54pm
You've got some great lines here, like
"A filmstrip of events"
That truly stands alone! I think that would be a better title, I'm not completely understanding where the Dream comes in until the end.
You might want to clean up grammar/punctuation a little bit, in the lines "Things we don't quite/Know/Want/Understand..." you might try lower-casing them and using commas or ellipsis to detach it from itself.
Other lines I really liked were "A yawn/That signifies travel,/Wrapped in comfort,/Nestled in nuance,/Fluid flow of rest." If it were a song, I'd write it in Mixolydian because it speaks and sounds dreamy!
Overall, a great read!
"A filmstrip of events"
That truly stands alone! I think that would be a better title, I'm not completely understanding where the Dream comes in until the end.
You might want to clean up grammar/punctuation a little bit, in the lines "Things we don't quite/Know/Want/Understand..." you might try lower-casing them and using commas or ellipsis to detach it from itself.
Other lines I really liked were "A yawn/That signifies travel,/Wrapped in comfort,/Nestled in nuance,/Fluid flow of rest." If it were a song, I'd write it in Mixolydian because it speaks and sounds dreamy!
Overall, a great read!
23rd Jul 2013 12:41pm
Hey these are great comments, and very well-received - thank you tons, its always precious to get another POV
I'm going to update and re-publish, thank you
I'm going to update and re-publish, thank you
