My Team Is Blessed

I guess feelings of depression among other things have me down, out of tune and laying around, Listening to music soothing sounds as I'm imbedded in pain ruled by repetitive shame, And my life just don't feel the same, I speak of emotion a lot, And it seems the struggle is all I got, Do you wonder why I'm on the verge of insanity? Look around, Look at my family, Now shut up and turn around, I'm too sad to be proud of anything, I'm too young to be having these problems, I need some help because I do have problems and I don't know how to solve them, My momentum is shifting towards a negative state, somebody needs to hurry before it's too late, Where do we go from here? I'm trying to remember how I even arrived at this destination, but I have been lost in what seemed to be but a moment, However when I opened my eyes I realized I lost track of time, the drugs distorted my perception of time... Now I'm fucked scrambling to recover and retrace my steps, And that's where my feelings of shame and embarrassment spark that repetitive glow, But oh so negative now I'm less than broke, I can't go home, I fight demons everyday it's just this time I let them in the back door so we could play, I left my pride on the street, I try not to let small things bother me, I'm waiting for me and this euphoria to meet, And everything would all have been worth it, I can't face my loved ones straight up tho, Quick trigger and I say something stupid, Just so I dont have to listen to what the truth is, Dodging comments which are facts, I swear dodging bullets would bring less heat than that, Events of terror feel automatic so my release comes between these lines as I drop knowledge spitting experience to those under me, And to anyone who questions me read up my verse, this is real I'm describing the process as I deal with the curse, Much is to be learned but you won't find the cure  in a book, Watch the shadows at all times you must be crazy to think snakes aren't watching, Pleading ignorance won't make a difference do or die the code of the streets, believe me come fully equipped and if you don't, kiss your mama one last time because it's check out time, Don't let anybody know what you are thinking play the game to the fullest and when your finger is on the trigger, DON'T HESITATE TO PULL IT, I'm the one man army sent from heaven to disarm all the phoneys, I'm ringing the alarm calling all my true homies, Lets do this together and better ourselves because the future we own it, And playa hating I don't condone it, Don't look back if you do it's back to the block and no good can from that, in a nut shell we are one word... Trapped, survival of the fittest yep it's true, loyalty that's the glue thats keeps us together, And never again will I trust anyone that ain't with us, I'm going to put this to rest ain't nobody fucking with my crew because we are blessed.