I'm no going down so who will

Don't my mind get it
I know what I want
But not like this

I want the pain
to vanish in thin air
I want to stop my tears

But not like this
These thought must go
there no use for them

I'm not going to do it
I'm not shooting myself
I'm no cutting the veins
I'm not jumping of a ledge
or in front of a car

Surely, there isn't an overdose
or water involve
So why can't my mind
give a quits

Yea, I want to end it
But its not time for me
Only way I'm dying young

Is a fought to protect
my family......
I know they don't mean

to cause the pain
that boils within me
but shit happens

what can I say...
I can't pass
the pain

onto them, not like this
I don't want it that bad
I rather keep my suffering

then toss it on them
I rather have this pain
rot me from the inside out

I will take it all in
as long as I know that
the reason I stay is
for my family

So why can't this thought
just back off
or fall into a ditch

Its no game
The best quality
I got is stubbornness
So why the fuck is it still here?