The Rite of Hell

I have had enough of this life
Constantly beating me down
I have always tried to be the good man
Always there for others
Keeping ears and mind open
I was there no matter what

Never had sex
Never done drugs
Never had one I would consider to be an actual girlfriend
Never seriously considered suicide

Being someone who listens to everyone's problems
You figure out who has the drugs
I didn't want this to be messy
I do care about who would find me after all

Walking home after I got the pills
I hear glass breaking
Screams and yelling
I run toward these sounds

I find a woman trapped against a wall crying
Dress yanked up
A punk kid pulling down his pants
As his partner in crime watches

I look around quickly and find a pipe
I pick up the roughly seven pound object and run to the woman

The lookout was the first to hear me
He intercepted me from getting to the woman
And so I swung the pipe with everything I had
I hear a loud crack as the pipe makes contact with the look out's jaw
He falls to the asphalt
Unconscious

I continue towards the woman when the punk kid pulls out his knife
"Well?Come get some nigga!"
He yells at me
I keep walking toward them
Once I think I have the right distance I swing the pipe
The kid duck and charges me
Stabbing his knife into my stomach three times before I could grab his hand
The knife is still in my gut as I hold him

I had dropped the pipe in order to stop his assault on me
And now with my blood draining away
So was my strength
The kid smiles at my futile fighting
He leans to me and whispers in my ear
"Once I am done with you
I am going to finish myself with that little whore over there"

My stomach suddenly filled with fire
Strength and adrenaline surge through my veins
I tighten my hold on his wrist
And growl to him
"You will touch her only as a ghost"
And at that point I twisted my body
While still holding on to his wrist
I hear a crack then a snap as his wrist is broken

He falls back and hits the asphalt crying like a bitch
I fall to all fours
Lift one hand to my stomach
And yank out the blade, causing more blood to be split
I crawl over to the punk kid with the knife in one hand
I kneel on both knees next to him
Put the blade next to his neck
And speak in a low voice
"Have fun in hell"
I then proceed rip his throat out with his own knife

I then fall back and allow the blackness that has always surrounded me
To have possession of me

.....

I feel like I am floating through space
No air
No sounds
No lights
All my memories are intact
It is like my own personal torture on my soul

Suddenly I am ripped from space thrust upon a black sand beach
Coughing and wheezing

I see a line leading from the beach to a tower in the distance
I stand up wobbling as I do so
And begin to follow the line
To wear, I do not know

.....

Finally I come upon the tower
From the base it seems to reach up into the darkness forever

I am now in front of three... Things
I cannot tell what they are
They begin communicating
And I figure out quickly that these are the judges
They shall decide whether I should go to "heaven" or "hell"

They bring up the fact to each other all the good that I have done
Volunteering, helping others
But then one brings up the fact of the last night of my life
They went through my mind and say I was planning suicide
And then they began deliberating on how they should handle me
Considering I had killed a kid and had been planning to kill myself

"He killed a child" hissed the being on the left
"To save a young woman" growled the middle one
"But he was also going to kill himself" pointed out the third
They all turned to me and in unison said
"You shalt be sentenced to the fields with your full memory
With no chance of escape from them"

The ground below me gave way and cast me into the abyss
It was much like right after I had died
But now
It was as if every bad thing I had done in my life
Was being highlighted and played through my head over and over again
A torture with no escape in sight

This "hell" is not how the Christians has envisioned
It is only your own memories that torture you
Not demons
There is no senses
Only darkness and memories

Memories...
Nothing but memories...