The insecurities of man

The insecurities of man.......... This man has his own deep rooted insecurities.....They surface at times that can be inapropriate ...... They alter sleeping patterns, and switch his mind into overdrive.....Aside from his troubles as a kid there are other things that have been said and done over the years.....Hurtful vicious words that leave scars long after physical assaults have healed....Words that were used to denegrate and to make him seem worthless, he was called by anothers name by his first wife....Just weeks before the birth of his second child.....All the time he was being compared to one of her ex boyfriends, so how can he compete with that?.......So it's best to give up rather than suffer.....  Every time he looked at her, he was second guessing himself......She obviously loved the memory of her ex more than him,  so he gave up and left......His second wife had no less a vicious tongue....Accusing him of having no heart or emotions......Of having no soul, but why would he show emotions to one who had stood in front of him and called him grotesque.....Who had said he made her skin crawl? Each barbed comment intended to wound just as if a knife had been plunged into his back.....And wound they did, followed by one whom he thought did really love him....Who made promises that fell apart like tissue in a rainy gutter.......Who swore to him that he would never be denied as hers.....But who turned and fled when the time arose to stand by his side.....leaving him standing alone on the same spot where those promises were made........As if she were embarrassed to be with him, this is why he has no self esteem.......This is why he has no self confidence, this is why at times he feels worthless ,  he knows that in all those 3 relationships he has never been loved........Why would anyone love him?.....Three people can't all be wrong surely? And so the train of thought that runs around his head full of mans insecurities is going ahead full steam tonight........He knows he won't sleep....He has coal to shovel into the gaping hole that contains the fire of his pain....That makes the steam......That drives the wheels.......That keeps this train gliding along those silvered tracks......Tickets please.......