Suicide

Human lives... So much hate, depression, sorrow, pain both physical and emotional and they only way out might be... Suicide. Hated by those whom you cared about so much in life and they ended up hating you because of one mistake you made and they failed to remember all the things you did for them. They only cared about themselves and when you started feeling sad and lonely, when you asked for help they said you only care about yourself. Later on followed the depression because no one was able to comprehend the pain in your heart. No one was able to see your grief and sorrow. Loneliness spreading like a plague. Everyone leaving but keep on coming back if they need something from you. The attention seeking bastards keep on  rambling how hard their lives are even tho they have everything they ever wanted. Everyone fails to see my smiles and laughter are fake because I keep putting on a mask to hide my true feelings and emotions. Getting crushed by the society, friends and the most important ones... Family. No one can see the emptiness in my eyes which is spreading like a disease in my heart such as the pain is growing stronger and the scars are becoming deeper. I can not imagine life without your voice, your love, your touch, the way you smile or laugh. The only one who was able to understand me... I pushed him away... Oh God! I miss him so much. My heart is yearning just to hear those sweet words once again: 'I love you'. Many think this is some stupid teenage love but, YOU ARE ALL WRONG!  Everyone keep on saying how I'm strong and I'll pull through but I can't. Not this time. Not only do I miss him but I yearn for those sweet memories which were made before him. Since the day of my birth I was the outcast of the society. Always different. People, through my life, kept on crushing me and crushing me. It kept going on and on. Oh dear, did I just reveal too much? Well, I won't stop now. The pain and sorrow my heart feels is just eating my soul away. Emotions left me long time ago and the feeling of trust faded away many years ago. I no longer have strength to fight those fears and the dried up tears. Maybe this is a farewell? A goodbye? I no longer know. Those who say they truly care about me will no longer have to deal with my depressing words and fears. No longer will I remain to be a burden to those who are fighting for their own paths. The clock is ticking and thus I am picking... Picking the last day on which I will simply write... I wish thy farewell since this is my last goodbye.