The-Chosen-King

Before I start I'm going to clarify, my last poem "toward death" and this one are connected, one is from an observers perspective this is from a first person, so they are best read together.

The past leaves me bleeding at my depths
How foolish was the man I was back then
How could I think that peace could truly last.
What a fool I was to think that I could win
A kingdom of gold was once at my feet
Now a garden of stone crumbled and beat
Where is the king that knew not defeat
The fool that thought that peace was real
Now I know the price of peace is paid in steel
The folly of my idealistic way of living
The mistakes I've made were unforgiving
My brothers lay dying at my feet
Too late now to call for retreat
The weight of my actions crushing me
A part of me left in an endless sea
Swimming in crimson stained memories
I promised to protect them I promised them reprieve
I promised more than I could achieve
Unworthy of the station I've been handed
I can feel the resolve I had corroded
Fallen beneath the flames and the ashes
The memories and pain coming in flashes
I just wish for purity; cathartic witchery
Wishing for forgiveness, wishing to be free
Wishing for the peace of those buried in debris
The pain I feel is crushing me, bring me to my knees
Tears and misery, memories of suffering of various degrees
I'm walking down the devils spiral, making my descent
Would it be unfair of me to join them where they went
Leading myself away from the pain into the depths of hell
Walking this path forever I've known to join my men in death.