My first time dealing with death of a family member

50 seconds and you only take one struggling breath
You're so close to your death
Please, if there is a god...
Just help him rest

I hope he goes to a place of peace
Down on my knees
Tears flowing freely
I hope whatever is up there can see me

I feel guilty
Here I crying and I'm not even the one dying
I'm a mess, a selfish mess
Is this my best?

Don't know how can I be strong
When one of my family is moving on
Fuckin' life...

His is gone