deepundergroundpoetry.com
Look! No verbs.
A tropical beach at midnight. Deserted.
Half a moon for perfect light. Gentle breeze.
Sand warm, moist, giving- the ideal cushion
For copulatory innovation.
Then a slithering snake just by the couch.
Screams. Scrambling and most undignified flight.
Deflated return to the customary
Stolid and stale hotel room bed for two.
Half a moon for perfect light. Gentle breeze.
Sand warm, moist, giving- the ideal cushion
For copulatory innovation.
Then a slithering snake just by the couch.
Screams. Scrambling and most undignified flight.
Deflated return to the customary
Stolid and stale hotel room bed for two.
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Re: Look! No verbs.
3rd Jun 2013 9:34pm
re: Re: Look! No verbs.
3rd Jun 2013 10:23pm
Re: Look! No verbs.
5th Jun 2013 12:38pm
re: Re: Look! No verbs.
Unfortunately it wasn't my imagination. I wish it was. But it really did happen- but at the time I did worry that it might put my partner off sex for life.
Re: Look! No verbs.
5th Jun 2013 9:15pm
*Laughter*, I love the idea of this.
Something that I couldn't come up with,
or pull off.
Made me smile, a clever poem, Marthard.
Something that I couldn't come up with,
or pull off.
Made me smile, a clever poem, Marthard.
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re: Re: Look! No verbs.
5th Jun 2013 9:38pm
It's one of the 'fun' pieces- done very quickly. I'm so glad you don't disapprove as a real poet. I noticed how people often communicate without verbs and wondered if I could do that coherently.
Many thanks- I do value and treasure your judgements.
Many thanks- I do value and treasure your judgements.
Re: Look! No verbs.
6th Jun 2013 4:49pm
Cleverly crafted, full of wits and a good laugh on my side...this reminds me of my piece, "How to Kill a Colorado Eel."
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re: Re: Look! No verbs.
Many thanks.Your cheer me up.
I'll read your poem. There is always the problem with short pieces of thinking one is being original when it is something than popped from the deepest recesses of memory.(I couldn't find that poem in your list- but some of your acrostic-tanka poems are similar and one at least has only one verb- and, of course, you had different aims)
I'll read your poem. There is always the problem with short pieces of thinking one is being original when it is something than popped from the deepest recesses of memory.(I couldn't find that poem in your list- but some of your acrostic-tanka poems are similar and one at least has only one verb- and, of course, you had different aims)
re: re: Re: Look! No verbs.
6th Jun 2013 7:42pm
I'm sorry...it's been in my old chest for awhile now. I'm not sure if I need to publish it. If you need a copy to read, I'll send you one.
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