I dont know

I want to just throw my hands up.
Why can't I?
I've spent too many nights alone in my room.
Hurting.
Crying.
Suffering.
I don't know who I am anymore.
Looking in the mirror, I don't recognize what I see.
What have I become?
I'm not sure what to feel anymore.
Breaking point is near.
I can feel it.
I'm not happy.
The fire in my heart is out.
No motivation to live.
Where will it go from here?