Simple sequences

I think this poem is brilliantly thought out & constructed, Iris. To me, your words express the up/downs in relationships. The last line was an unexpected surprise. Love the title, too. Whole books are written around the theme of "hearts break / love hurts / shit happens." Great poem -- great read, my friend! :)

Carlene  

THANKS A LOT for your lovely comment, Carlene. They're always more than welcome since supporting and insightful. Thanks for the entry into your reading list! I'm honored by this, too.
Iris

Creative how you captured "love" in the
act so to speak...love has no mercy....

Thanks a lot, AngelicDarkness, for your thought provoking comment. No, love has no mercy. And I think, there wasn't even love involved, but still ...

Chi

The tight, concise lines DRIVE this home. No spare words floating around, no distractions. I've never seen a piece with a more fitting title. But "simple" is not a bad word - in this case, it's even preferred. The kicker, "shit happens", was unexpected but yeah. Works! Nicely done, Chiyo.

Thank you very much, Scat, for dropping by and leaving such a nice and welcome comment! I wasn't quite sure about the last sentence, but had to write it anyway ...
Chi

The short lines push the reader relentlessly, inexorably towards the ending with the surprising last line. I also like how each line in the first stanza resolves to its opposite in the second stanza. To maintain the symmetry, could the last line be in its own stanza?

You're right. That's one possibility. I was even thinking about deleting it. I'm not sure anymore if the line even fits in. Thanks for the critique, I much appreciate it! For starters I'll begin with the own stanza.

Deleted it ... and as the opposite to love comes is love goes, I changed that, too. I'm grateful for your comments!

Simply beautiful <3 loved this one