thoughts about my world

As days go by
Another nite to cry
24 hours without them by my side
Pain builds up and no one knows
I show strength so it don't show
So that my kids don't know its killing me without them in my world
The laughter of my youngest girl my summerangel the last of my unanswered prayers how do they dare steal her ad their own but one day she will find her way home
The smile of my youngest son
Daddy's demonbugg i miss the way we snuggled and hug you may be young but you'll soon see how mean your mother has been cuz of me and for that I'm for always sorry
And the years it's been since I've seen my demonbird are mounting up like the leaves by the curbs blocking my hearts beat like it's water I'm drowning in a gutter full of emotions ask because your mother didn't wanna hear the truth so she's making you and my angeleyes suffer just to hurt me but i won't return the courtesy because that's not wat i see a father to be I'm biding my time hoping you two will come to see that I'm not who that family claims me to be
I'm a super hero to your oldest brother my namesake my Bubba
I'm so proud that you have my name and from where you came your moms one of my best friends cuz she seems to understand that i try my best to be a dad to all of my kids despite the lack of money and money mixed with so much court in different counties working to make a living
leaving no time to have a life
All because of wrong time and place your there and I'm here
Which brings me to my oldest daddy's angelface princess
You may live in another state miles away 5 hour drive to where you stayed and I'd gladly make the trip every day just to see the smile i hear on your face when we talk on the phone
and your mother would invite me into her home with open arms cuz a best friend knows that my kids are my home
They are my strength wen i get weak so I cherish every minute of every week for that sadly happy hour the same way i cherish hearing all of your voices wen we talk hearing daddy melts my heart the way you all make me shine if i could only freeze time with all of you by my side it'd be a dream come true my world is complete because of you all 6 of you put it together piece by piece and like a puzzle we fit
Circumstances given my full potential stays hidden
Because life dealt me a different hand than the one god had planned
But until my time comes pls know that I love and miss you all so much it hurts so don't believe the lies that's told by the people who don't know the true me
Ill tell you the truth wen I know you're old enough and I will do it without being ignorant about the ones who play in the mud just to spread dirt cuz they live in the jealousy of the fatherly reflection of me in your eyes so they try to cover me in the disguise of their unproven lies no matter how hard they try I'm a father first person second so words don't leave me guessing they just keep on testing my strength and will hoping I will give and fold under the pressure but i won't give them the pleasure because my thoughts and memories gives me the will to believe all my kids will see the truth and see how things were so misunderstood but don't misunderstand the love i have to protect me thru the netherworld of this life I see it in the eyes of my kids and how they know their real dad is me
I'm not the richest or smartest probly wouldn't win a father of the year contest but then again I am the only me which makes us unique
The 7 of us you 6 and me make a excellent technique