deepundergroundpoetry.com
Ghosts
Ghost of my past always haunting me
And following me
Telling me to follow them in to the
Shadow land of the forgotten
Leave me be now
Let me rest in piece
Why wont you leave me
Let me live
Let me be free from this past
Ghosts hands reaching out to grab me
And pull me down to hell
Why wont I wake up from this past
Or am I one of the forgotten or the dead ones of past lives
Now I look in the mirror and see anew me but I'm
Different im now pale and a ghost of the past and one of the forgotten dead
Never to return to inbound
And following me
Telling me to follow them in to the
Shadow land of the forgotten
Leave me be now
Let me rest in piece
Why wont you leave me
Let me live
Let me be free from this past
Ghosts hands reaching out to grab me
And pull me down to hell
Why wont I wake up from this past
Or am I one of the forgotten or the dead ones of past lives
Now I look in the mirror and see anew me but I'm
Different im now pale and a ghost of the past and one of the forgotten dead
Never to return to inbound
Published 17th May 2013
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17th May 2013 9:45am
Hello.
You used both 'haunting' and 'following' at the beginning. This isn't a bad thing to do but I've always seen these to be the same. It was confusing to read this part.
I got a little lost around the 'or am I one of the forgotten' part. I think I got the full picture now but it took a while.
I hope this feedback helps.
You used both 'haunting' and 'following' at the beginning. This isn't a bad thing to do but I've always seen these to be the same. It was confusing to read this part.
I got a little lost around the 'or am I one of the forgotten' part. I think I got the full picture now but it took a while.
I hope this feedback helps.
20th May 2013 00:24am
17th May 2013 9:48am
Memory is ever a dwelling place , and one in her/his loneliness returns to the dark chasm of the past memories .
