My Company

My pain was always my friend, my company.
It never left but when it did i never missed it.
It always came back unexpectedly.
I was never ready for it even if lived in me most of the time.
Even if it manipulated my mind.
My thoughts were never nice and happy... just for a while.
I was always my worst enemy.
My nightmares were the worst
All my fears, the lies i created
The memories i never wanted.
It was never a walk in the park.
All the time i felt my heart fall apart.
It was always loud in my head.
Sometimes i would wish i was...dead..
My pain never left me alone.
it was company
In a sick way, it made me happy.