Is this Forever?

My heart hurts like knives twisting inside
while it bleeds teardrops of pain
My Birthday spent in agony without him
as days drag  on to weeks
no food satisfies no drink diminishes my thirst for him
thoughts of him never leave to give me rest
eyes now swollen and red like a drunkard
drunk on my love for him
does he know what he is doing to me?  
Would he care?
With anguish i listen to his goodbye on my Birthday
While I begged to no avail please don't go
sleep eludes me while in agony I lay in my bed
waiting listening hoping crying begging into the silence
Nothing Nothing Nothing
No I love you
No I miss you
No i hold you
No I kiss you
Nothing
Why do i punish myself like this
How do i let go
Why did he decide to leave
Why Why Why
I have no answers for me
My breath is shallow as I listen for him
My heart beats faster as I feel his touch
without his presence
He said we were one forever
I guess his forever ended on my Birthday
but my forever continues without him as I wait.....