Inherited Burdens

What the hell went wrong with my life?    


 I could say that it    started as a kid, when all the confusion began. I could blame it on my parents and their "cooking" habits.
                           
What the hell happened to my childhood?  


Frozen dreams of an innocent child, flew out the window when I was seven. All the abuse and punishments that caused these insecurities. Dad refusing to "cook", mom pulling her pistol loaded and cocked. Flying fists of drug induced zombies. What to do except spare my siblings.          
                       
What the hell went wrong with my life?  


Reality hit like a ton of bricks, girl of twelve, unstable stability snatched away for their fix. Looked out my window, and what did I see? Cops lining the drive and charging right in. Beating on dad's door, so he could flush the dope. Praying I was fast enough, I can only hope.                                          
      What the hell happened to my adolescence?


  Taken away to unkind family, made to become a personal slave, all the while trying to be brave. Hating mom and loving dad, he cared enough to try to quit, before shit got this bad. Waiting and wondering when I can wake from this nightmare.        

What the hell went wrong with my life?  

Parents were obliterated and against the drugs I couldn't compete. Almost went to prison, because they chose to "cook", but not eat. Risking everything for a blast and that rush. I was old enough to be fearless but not to be crushed.    

What the hell went wrong that day?  

Once I thought everything was back to "usual".....no.....   Should have known the cosmic train-wreck was eventual. I'll not forget the day I was pulled out of gym, took to my uncle's, and told I'd never see my mom again. All the dope caused her death; they say only the good die young, but whoever    'they' are; they're full of shit.

What the hell went wrong in my life?  

After that day, I was fourteen. I ran wild and found sister morphine. It progress to everything under the sun, the grief was suppressed by the obsession of fun. Drinking, smoking, and partying hard. All the time gambling with mom's death card.

What went wrong with my life?

I could blame my actions on all these situations, but that would be fabrications. I didn't heed warnings gone past, allowed myself to traverse down the same devilish path.

At first it just started because I was curious, doing everything in my power to stay oblivious. I let it take over 'til I couldn't deny it. Finally admitting, I'm a fucking addict. No  one to blame, just a victim of circumstance. I had a choice, and of course, I blew it.