Submissions by wiltedtulip (Green Eyed Monster)
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
DSM-IV
Where is my joy?
I have lost it somewhere along the way.
My food has no taste
My hunger disappeared
No need for food
No want for life
Everything so mundane and surreal.
Awake all night
No pill or drink can find me peace.
Thousands of tears
Cheeks stained
Eyes puffy
Just a shell of this person
That no longer exists.
I know my body is still alive
Rapid beating heart
Pounding head
Brain flooded with thoughts
I can't seem to halt.
My heart is empty
My compassion displaced
Feeling slighted and alone.
So here...
I have lost it somewhere along the way.
My food has no taste
My hunger disappeared
No need for food
No want for life
Everything so mundane and surreal.
Awake all night
No pill or drink can find me peace.
Thousands of tears
Cheeks stained
Eyes puffy
Just a shell of this person
That no longer exists.
I know my body is still alive
Rapid beating heart
Pounding head
Brain flooded with thoughts
I can't seem to halt.
My heart is empty
My compassion displaced
Feeling slighted and alone.
So here...
689 reads
1 Comment
Drowning
I hate this life
It's mine
I created it
Somehow
I have managed
To fill it
Only with anger
Inhumane hurt
I am drowning
Unable to tread
This choppy water
Circling
Sucked down
By the drain below
Leaving behind me
A wake
Of destruction
It's mine
I created it
Somehow
I have managed
To fill it
Only with anger
Inhumane hurt
I am drowning
Unable to tread
This choppy water
Circling
Sucked down
By the drain below
Leaving behind me
A wake
Of destruction
536 reads
0 Comments
Don't know why...part two
I continue down this dark corridor
Searching for truth
I look to my left
And see a dark doorway.
No light illuminates its passage.
Dare I knock?
Do I know the password
To be granted entrance?
Light rain begins to fall
Me without shelter.
I look to this door
Unsure of what lies on the other side.
I knock.
Waiting for an answer.
Searching for truth
I look to my left
And see a dark doorway.
No light illuminates its passage.
Dare I knock?
Do I know the password
To be granted entrance?
Light rain begins to fall
Me without shelter.
I look to this door
Unsure of what lies on the other side.
I knock.
Waiting for an answer.
569 reads
2 Comments
Alone
Feeling alone
Is it all in my head?
Hating this life
Don't want to go on.
Selfishish
Taking over.
Am I something
To be ashamed of?
You love me
Yet you shut me out.
Feeling unworthy
Of compassion.
Like I am being
Irrational.
Is it all in my head?
Hating this life
Don't want to go on.
Selfishish
Taking over.
Am I something
To be ashamed of?
You love me
Yet you shut me out.
Feeling unworthy
Of compassion.
Like I am being
Irrational.
612 reads
0 Comments
Don't know why
Walking down an empty alleyway not a soul in sight.
I turn to look behind me
investigating the footsteps that exist only in my mind.
My pulse quickens, breathing more rapid
frightened of what may lie in the shadows;
the monster only I know.
Loneliness my companion
traveling this corridor that seems endless
mist of fog obscuring my path.
Feeling aimless
searching for some unknown purpose
hoping I will know it when it finds me.
I turn to look behind me
investigating the footsteps that exist only in my mind.
My pulse quickens, breathing more rapid
frightened of what may lie in the shadows;
the monster only I know.
Loneliness my companion
traveling this corridor that seems endless
mist of fog obscuring my path.
Feeling aimless
searching for some unknown purpose
hoping I will know it when it finds me.
605 reads
2 Comments
Transformation
A butterfly starts its life
nothing like she will become.
only goal in life
to eat, get fatter
A gluttonous caterpillar.
She forms her chrysalis
so that no one can
see her transform.
She emerges
beautiful
flying
perpetuating life.
I wait.
Stuck in this stage
of immaturity, selfishness.
No one can see my
transformation
hidden in this chrysalis.
I want to stretch my wings
and take flight.
nothing like she will become.
only goal in life
to eat, get fatter
A gluttonous caterpillar.
She forms her chrysalis
so that no one can
see her transform.
She emerges
beautiful
flying
perpetuating life.
I wait.
Stuck in this stage
of immaturity, selfishness.
No one can see my
transformation
hidden in this chrysalis.
I want to stretch my wings
and take flight.
564 reads
0 Comments
Paranoia
Yesterday I cried
Your words so true
Hating myself
Feel like I am toppling
Falling with no ground below
To catch me.
So complicated
But what relationship isn't?
So cliche
Can two people really find happiness?
There will always be conflict
Without it where would be passion?
I spent the day crying
I can't let go of the guilt
But then you come to me
Hold me in your arms
And briefly the sadness disappears.
Engulfed in your scent
Your hands run through my hair
I see my home in your eyes.
Not...
Your words so true
Hating myself
Feel like I am toppling
Falling with no ground below
To catch me.
So complicated
But what relationship isn't?
So cliche
Can two people really find happiness?
There will always be conflict
Without it where would be passion?
I spent the day crying
I can't let go of the guilt
But then you come to me
Hold me in your arms
And briefly the sadness disappears.
Engulfed in your scent
Your hands run through my hair
I see my home in your eyes.
Not...
730 reads
2 Comments
The Monster in Me
The weight of my world
is overwhelming.
An elephant on my chest
I struggle to breathe
I feel pinned to the ground
sinking
deeper
into an abyss
I have created.
Self destructive
Poisonous
Toxic to all around me.
So far beyond second chances
everything I touch
becomes black
necrotic
I am death
to all things sacred.
I have failed
inhuman
a monster
wasting oxygen
stealing life
from those I claim to love.
I think I can change
but I am trapped
incapable
of providing happiness...
is overwhelming.
An elephant on my chest
I struggle to breathe
I feel pinned to the ground
sinking
deeper
into an abyss
I have created.
Self destructive
Poisonous
Toxic to all around me.
So far beyond second chances
everything I touch
becomes black
necrotic
I am death
to all things sacred.
I have failed
inhuman
a monster
wasting oxygen
stealing life
from those I claim to love.
I think I can change
but I am trapped
incapable
of providing happiness...
679 reads
6 Comments
Sitting at my Kitchen Table Drinking Coffee
At my kitchen table alone
sipping coffee
overcome with anxiety
hands shaking
heart racing
mind full of thoughts
that again he kept me from sleep.
It seems it's been too long
since I've felt "normalcy"...
Does that even exist?
My world is overpowered
by the pain.
Relationships disastourus
love lost
joint custody
anger
grief
sadness
Happiness seems intangible,
some romantic notion
meant for a movie script.
Karma's victim--
My trespasses take precedence
over my good will.
I...
sipping coffee
overcome with anxiety
hands shaking
heart racing
mind full of thoughts
that again he kept me from sleep.
It seems it's been too long
since I've felt "normalcy"...
Does that even exist?
My world is overpowered
by the pain.
Relationships disastourus
love lost
joint custody
anger
grief
sadness
Happiness seems intangible,
some romantic notion
meant for a movie script.
Karma's victim--
My trespasses take precedence
over my good will.
I...
945 reads
3 Comments
Hard to Love
Can someone please explain to me
why I am so hard to love?
Too short
Too thin
Too insecure?
Are my eyes too green
my hair too red?
Too many lonely thoughts
are in my head.
I ask too much
I take too much
I expect too much
I cost too much.
Is life too short
to love someone like me?
I try to understand...
but the pain of silence
is all I can feel.
why I am so hard to love?
Too short
Too thin
Too insecure?
Are my eyes too green
my hair too red?
Too many lonely thoughts
are in my head.
I ask too much
I take too much
I expect too much
I cost too much.
Is life too short
to love someone like me?
I try to understand...
but the pain of silence
is all I can feel.
786 reads
6 Comments
Insomnia
My alarm clock burns red
2:00 AM
imprints upon my eyes
in the dark.
Why does sleep not find me?
My wheels spinning out of control
All my fears surface at once
the moment my head hits
the pillow.
I replay the day
the week
the month
the year...
with no purpose.
I can not change the past
and still it haunts
my present.
Tomorrow comes too quickly
my coffee cup
never full enough
to fight the effects
of another sleepless night.
2:00 AM
imprints upon my eyes
in the dark.
Why does sleep not find me?
My wheels spinning out of control
All my fears surface at once
the moment my head hits
the pillow.
I replay the day
the week
the month
the year...
with no purpose.
I can not change the past
and still it haunts
my present.
Tomorrow comes too quickly
my coffee cup
never full enough
to fight the effects
of another sleepless night.
729 reads
1 Comment
The Scar
It feels I held you so briefly
But I cherished every minute.
I loved you the moment
You entered my life.
Your time was far too short
I fear all you felt was pain.
It kills me to think
You may have never knew my love.
It seems so unfair
You were taken from me so quickly.
I know you fought so hard
But in the end your strength failed.
You slipped away from me
And I'll never be the same.
I hope you know I love you
Then, now, and forever.
I wish I knew how
To make this consuming pain fade.
Without you my heart is...
But I cherished every minute.
I loved you the moment
You entered my life.
Your time was far too short
I fear all you felt was pain.
It kills me to think
You may have never knew my love.
It seems so unfair
You were taken from me so quickly.
I know you fought so hard
But in the end your strength failed.
You slipped away from me
And I'll never be the same.
I hope you know I love you
Then, now, and forever.
I wish I knew how
To make this consuming pain fade.
Without you my heart is...
800 reads
2 Comments
DU Poetry : Submissions by wiltedtulip (Green Eyed Monster)