Submissions by stoned (buggy)
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
Poet Introduction
heyo, im bug or JEM, i kinda just post a bunch of word vomit that comes to me when i can’t sleep.
SELF POEM
Published
23rd Sep 2023 11:13am
23rd Sep 2023 11:13am
changes
when i was a child,
i thought my father was the problem,
and that my mother was a saint,
but now when things get difficult,
she puts me on the street,
in the dark and the cold,
while my dad drives 2 hours,
sick, tired, broke, and worried,
to pick me up,
from in front of my old school,
my cheeks are tear stained,
and i have bruises on my skin,
and no matter how many times it happens,
he comes,
he comes and he respects my choice to go back,
he knows that its hard to change my mind,
to make me realize she is no...
i thought my father was the problem,
and that my mother was a saint,
but now when things get difficult,
she puts me on the street,
in the dark and the cold,
while my dad drives 2 hours,
sick, tired, broke, and worried,
to pick me up,
from in front of my old school,
my cheeks are tear stained,
and i have bruises on my skin,
and no matter how many times it happens,
he comes,
he comes and he respects my choice to go back,
he knows that its hard to change my mind,
to make me realize she is no...
#anxiety
#parent
#denial
#separation
#manipulation
145 reads
1 Comment
MISCELLANEOUS POEM
Published
9th Sep 2022 9:34am
9th Sep 2022 9:34am
gnats.
the gnats are here,
i fear they will mutate and eat me alive!
i beg of you,
keep me in your thoughts.
for if i am eaten alive by gnats,
these may be my final words.
i fear they will mutate and eat me alive!
i beg of you,
keep me in your thoughts.
for if i am eaten alive by gnats,
these may be my final words.
#anxiety
#murder
#death #fear
#death #fear
241 reads
1 Comment
SELF POEM
Published
2nd Aug 2022 12:08pm
2nd Aug 2022 12:08pm
tomorrow.
my whole life,
it felt like tomorrow would never come,
and then it did,
and it kept coming,
but still,
it felt like it would never come,
and so i never planned,
never prepared,
and tomorrow still comes,
but i have no idea what i’m doing,
tomorrow keeps coming,
it feels like it will never come,
but it does,
and now it feels like it won’t stop coming,
and i’m unprepared,
i’m anxious,
what will i do tomorrow,
soon tomorrow will turn to next week,
next week to next month,
next month to next year, ...
it felt like tomorrow would never come,
and then it did,
and it kept coming,
but still,
it felt like it would never come,
and so i never planned,
never prepared,
and tomorrow still comes,
but i have no idea what i’m doing,
tomorrow keeps coming,
it feels like it will never come,
but it does,
and now it feels like it won’t stop coming,
and i’m unprepared,
i’m anxious,
what will i do tomorrow,
soon tomorrow will turn to next week,
next week to next month,
next month to next year, ...
#anxiety
#confessional
#FeelingLost
#responsibility
#fear
363 reads
4 Comments
LOVE POEM
Published
15th Jun 2022 9:23am
15th Jun 2022 9:23am
the crush.
i think of you,
and i lose all sense of thought,
but at the same time,
i think of everything to be thought of.
feeling like this is new to me,
i’m used to having the confidence to speak,
the boldness to talk,
the ability to think.
you make me nervous,
and i hate that,
why do you make me so nervous,
what about you causes me to be speechless?
is this what it feels like,
to truly like someone,
to become speechless in their presence,
to lose all sense of thought when they come to mind?
in all...
and i lose all sense of thought,
but at the same time,
i think of everything to be thought of.
feeling like this is new to me,
i’m used to having the confidence to speak,
the boldness to talk,
the ability to think.
you make me nervous,
and i hate that,
why do you make me so nervous,
what about you causes me to be speechless?
is this what it feels like,
to truly like someone,
to become speechless in their presence,
to lose all sense of thought when they come to mind?
in all...
#kindness
#honesty
#UnrequitedLove
#admiration
#crush
335 reads
2 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
10th Jun 2022 10:12am
10th Jun 2022 10:12am
who am i
i’ve lost my sense of self,
my sense of reality went with it.
what’s real? what’s fake?
who am i?
i fear that mental help,
will make me lose myself further.
what if who i am,
is all because of my illness.
when i look in the mirror,
who am i looking at?
is that how others see me?
is that who i really am?
when people like me,
is it for the real me?
or is it for the me that my illness made up,
the me that i created from the trauma.
when i get the help i need,
will everyone leave? ...
my sense of reality went with it.
what’s real? what’s fake?
who am i?
i fear that mental help,
will make me lose myself further.
what if who i am,
is all because of my illness.
when i look in the mirror,
who am i looking at?
is that how others see me?
is that who i really am?
when people like me,
is it for the real me?
or is it for the me that my illness made up,
the me that i created from the trauma.
when i get the help i need,
will everyone leave? ...
#myself
#confusion
#FeelingLost
#acceptance
#SelfDiscovery
358 reads
0 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
29th May 2022 9:05am
29th May 2022 9:05am
i shouldnt be here
you see,
i’m in a place i never thought i’d be,
and everyone else is more excited than me.
though i’m just filled with anxiety.
you see,
i never thought i’d make it passed sixteen,
but i did and now i guess i’m free?
but sometimes i don’t feel like me.
you see,
my whole life feels like a dream,
not a good one, one filled with agony,
i think childhood left some debris.
you see,
my childhood wasn’t filled with glee,
i know my parents disagree,
but what i remember is my memory,
and...
i’m in a place i never thought i’d be,
and everyone else is more excited than me.
though i’m just filled with anxiety.
you see,
i never thought i’d make it passed sixteen,
but i did and now i guess i’m free?
but sometimes i don’t feel like me.
you see,
my whole life feels like a dream,
not a good one, one filled with agony,
i think childhood left some debris.
you see,
my childhood wasn’t filled with glee,
i know my parents disagree,
but what i remember is my memory,
and...
#anxiety
#childhood
#MentalHealth
#aging
#responsibility
325 reads
2 Comments
LOVE POEM
Published
6th May 2022 8:23am
6th May 2022 8:23am
i don’t know what love is
i’m 17
merely a child
i know nothing of love
nothing of the trials and tribulations
but oh how i’ve loved many
i have a big heart
but is that what love is?
having a big heart?
falling in love 2 months in?
i struggle to believe it so
sometimes i don’t even understand things like anger
things like sadness
things like joy
so how am i to assume i understand love
my perception of it is clearly a bad one
i never had good role models when it came to love
i just had a big heart
and a brain that develops crushes too...
merely a child
i know nothing of love
nothing of the trials and tribulations
but oh how i’ve loved many
i have a big heart
but is that what love is?
having a big heart?
falling in love 2 months in?
i struggle to believe it so
sometimes i don’t even understand things like anger
things like sadness
things like joy
so how am i to assume i understand love
my perception of it is clearly a bad one
i never had good role models when it came to love
i just had a big heart
and a brain that develops crushes too...
#love
#gratitude
#support
#admiration
#respect
329 reads
2 Comments
LOVE POEM
Published
12th Oct 2021 2:19am
12th Oct 2021 2:19am
Angel of My Dreams (grj)
She's an angel,
sent from the divine.
Never to be mine.
She's a flower,
blooming ever so brightly.
On my mind nightly.
She's timeless,
an old soul.
God I am a fool.
She's a friend,
here since the beginning,
gone before the end.
sent from the divine.
Never to be mine.
She's a flower,
blooming ever so brightly.
On my mind nightly.
She's timeless,
an old soul.
God I am a fool.
She's a friend,
here since the beginning,
gone before the end.
#love
#regret
#hope
#admiration
#bittersweet
334 reads
1 Comment
SELF POEM
Published
29th Nov 2019 5:57am
29th Nov 2019 5:57am
Nights Like These
it's nights like these where I sit and think,
how did I stand up for myself,
with no regrets,
all those times,
but now,
I am weak,
and quiet.
it's nights like these where I sit and wonder,
what am I doing wrong,
why doesnt he want me like he wants her,
why am I not what he is looking for,
why do I still hang onto these feelings for him.
it's nights like these where I ask myself,
why do I let people hurt me,
why do I let people take advantage,
why do I let her,
of all people,
step all over me, ...
how did I stand up for myself,
with no regrets,
all those times,
but now,
I am weak,
and quiet.
it's nights like these where I sit and wonder,
what am I doing wrong,
why doesnt he want me like he wants her,
why am I not what he is looking for,
why do I still hang onto these feelings for him.
it's nights like these where I ask myself,
why do I let people hurt me,
why do I let people take advantage,
why do I let her,
of all people,
step all over me, ...
#jealousy
#regret
#conflict
#betrayal
#escape
477 reads
6 Comments
LOVE POEM
Published
5th Nov 2019 5:52am
5th Nov 2019 5:52am
"That Smile Looks Good On You"
6 years ago, I met you
and to this day,
you're my dumbass of a best friend.
People say I'm crazy,
because I've known you
since third grade.
They say I'm crazy
cause I'm in love with you,
no matter how many times
you say our friendship is more important
than some dumb relationship,
and I agree, it is.
So to ignore those feelings,
I've let so many people
walk into my life,
and break my heart,
but you've been there through
all of it.
I ran to the bathroom crying,
not looking for a pity party, ...
and to this day,
you're my dumbass of a best friend.
People say I'm crazy,
because I've known you
since third grade.
They say I'm crazy
cause I'm in love with you,
no matter how many times
you say our friendship is more important
than some dumb relationship,
and I agree, it is.
So to ignore those feelings,
I've let so many people
walk into my life,
and break my heart,
but you've been there through
all of it.
I ran to the bathroom crying,
not looking for a pity party, ...
#happiness
#ILoveYou
#FallingInLove #crush
#FallingInLove #crush
459 reads
0 Comments
LOVE POEM
Published
11th Jan 2019 2:16am
11th Jan 2019 2:16am
4 years
its been 4 years
4 fucking years
every time i come close to contacting you
i get told the same 2 words
she died
but i refuse to believe it
you knew how to help
everytime my heart was broken
and now its completely shattered
you weakened it
he broke it
its been 4 years
but youre the only person i want to speak to
youd know exactly what to say
but i did what i did
that night i left you while you were at your worst
and now i cant help but tell myself
ill never hear from you again and its my fault
you did it...
4 fucking years
every time i come close to contacting you
i get told the same 2 words
she died
but i refuse to believe it
you knew how to help
everytime my heart was broken
and now its completely shattered
you weakened it
he broke it
its been 4 years
but youre the only person i want to speak to
youd know exactly what to say
but i did what i did
that night i left you while you were at your worst
and now i cant help but tell myself
ill never hear from you again and its my fault
you did it...
#anger
#regret
#grief
#greed
#denial
527 reads
0 Comments
ANGER POEM
Published
11th Jan 2019 2:08am
11th Jan 2019 2:08am
you made me feel pain
jrw
the three letters i once loved to write
you told me you loved me
youd never leave me
especially for someone else
and then you fucking did
you left for her
the same girl who has caused me heartbreak for years
and because i love you so much
i decided against happiness so i wouldnt hurt you
funny
you shattered my heart
and i kept it shattered to protect you from the pain i feel
you have hurt me so much
i cant touch my sketchbook without wanting to scream
you inspired my art
you asked to see my art
to read...
the three letters i once loved to write
you told me you loved me
youd never leave me
especially for someone else
and then you fucking did
you left for her
the same girl who has caused me heartbreak for years
and because i love you so much
i decided against happiness so i wouldnt hurt you
funny
you shattered my heart
and i kept it shattered to protect you from the pain i feel
you have hurt me so much
i cant touch my sketchbook without wanting to scream
you inspired my art
you asked to see my art
to read...
#sadness
#heartbroken
#breakup
#betrayal
#disappointment
452 reads
0 Comments
DU Poetry : Submissions by stoned (buggy)
