Submissions by jim_ferguson

when i had cash
and duly purchased
some olives stuffed
with pimentos

the olives were mouths
the pimentos tongues
and they spake unto me thus -

look out to your future
save your pennies
for one day soon
ye shall be skint

He pressed the button.
A female voice came out of the intercom speaker: Who is it?
Me mum.
Who’s me? … Don’t answer that I know who it is, she says.
The lock made a grrrrrrrr sound and he pushed open the close door. Took a step forward and let the door swing back against his brightly polished red shoe. For some reason, or reasons, that were not at all apparent to him, he’d woken up outside wearing a suit and shiny shoes, a shirt, tie and tie-pin. The whole fucking bit. Dressed totally for a night on the town. He looked fine, from the neck down absolutely fucking acceptable -...