Submissions by ThyHoneynut

For a while, I thought I had my life in order,
The will for my life, turned into a mental disorder,
The world turned me into an emotional hoarder,
And I gave into my greed as my spirit became sorer,
Because I blamed God for being financially bordered,
And time became longer as my potential became shorter,
'Cause there's a demon with a threshold who loves to loiter,
Now you see me kneeling at the cross alone in the foyer,
I'm in the court of spiritual warfare, but who's the lawyer?
I'm sick of all the pain, I'm through with all the horrors,
This is a...

A fool proclaims suicide, an easy way out
To inflict so much pain, the mind simply cannot take
A purpose so dedicated, to ensure death cannot second guess
A willpower so strong, yet gone to waste
If death were easy, we would follow,
While selfishness would not exist
Undeniably, I may be getting in your head
The first 21 years we learned to enjoy
While the rest, we question, confusion.
I seek the God of my understanding for help
But silenced by the voice in my head, telling me the futility of prayer
I am shackled by what may or may not be, following...

My addiction takes grasp of judgement
Always acting in the now, and feeling guilty for it later
Stealing from the ones I love,
Forgiving those, the ones I should hate
To use, to live, I only mean to survive, but they not understand
Like a tunnel train without its headlights, I never even saw this coming
Withdrawals were just a myth, but now arise
Perpetually, every sunrise,
Depressing how I went from work and school
To barricading bathrooms, scraping off the residue
Colorblind, too ashamed to face myself
My morals, time ago, slipped into...

Perfection is perspective, invisibly enticed,
Deception lays back, tongue-tied,
Waiting for the moment you gave into submission,
Just admit that you were yet again, easily subdued,
Acceptance heals faster than time, I speak truth,
But you have to do it for you, and only you.
A Harlot will go on, the more you dwell,
You'll be surprised how silence stabs like daggers more than words ever will,
Suffering and Depression traded for Silence and Self Content
This is not a subjective conclusion
When something works, you never forget
You'll be...

I hold temptation's flower everyday,
Counting off the sweet petals, of the days I live clean,
Always thinking when will be the day I once again fall.
I try finding solitude to angelic music to calm the remorse,
From a once ill-lived life, From a youth lived, unloved.
I spend many lonely nights dreaming things that will never be,
Constantly shackled by the people who tell you to move on but then bring back the past, almost instantly.
Depression, my nemesis, I ask of you, undo me.