Submissions by The_Starstruck
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
NON-FICTION PROSE
Published
22nd Jan 2020 10:03pm
22nd Jan 2020 10:03pm
Diary 1
I wonder what's its like without PTSD. Is it calmer? Are there less shadows or are they just different ones? Can you walk down the street without peering over your shoulder at every sound? Waiting until he shows his face to you and finish what was started. Do you live without thinking of all the ways someone could attack you. How no one would help you.I suppose I will likely never know. Unable to shake off the constant sludge of this disease and walking through life desperately pretending to not see the darkness in your eyes every time you pass a mirror. Maybe I'll ask my dad
#memories
#FeelingLost
#SelfDiscovery
324 reads
1 Comment
LOVE POEM
Published
22nd Jan 2020 9:48pm
22nd Jan 2020 9:48pm
To Learn to Love
I need to lean to love
Not that I can't
I just don't know how
When gentle hands love like knives
and too many promises fall flat
I think I've forgotten Forgotten the feel of an "I love you" without an if
Or as a start to manipulation
And I wish I could see love as it's told
As firework and warm bonfires
The summer sun and hot cocoa after a snowball fight
But after to many false promises and broken deals
Faith cast aside like lingerie
I'm scared to love
Scared to open myself to that sort of vulnerability
A place where you...
Not that I can't
I just don't know how
When gentle hands love like knives
and too many promises fall flat
I think I've forgotten Forgotten the feel of an "I love you" without an if
Or as a start to manipulation
And I wish I could see love as it's told
As firework and warm bonfires
The summer sun and hot cocoa after a snowball fight
But after to many false promises and broken deals
Faith cast aside like lingerie
I'm scared to love
Scared to open myself to that sort of vulnerability
A place where you...
#happiness
#kindness
#ILoveYou
#admiration
#dating
515 reads
2 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
18th Jan 2020 4:53am
18th Jan 2020 4:53am
Pink and Blue
I grew up pink
Pink blankets swaddled me in the hospital
I rode a pink tricycle
And played with pink dolls
I wore pink dresses in a pink house
And when I stopped being little you still wanted pink
I tried red
I tried blood rubies filling wine glasses
I tried red velvet with white lace
But I’m not red
And you wanted at least red
So I tried purple
Cloaked in grapes and the colors of royalty
Wore an amethyst crown
Let myself be swallowed in grape juice and plums
But I wasn’t purple
And yet you still pulled me to...
Pink blankets swaddled me in the hospital
I rode a pink tricycle
And played with pink dolls
I wore pink dresses in a pink house
And when I stopped being little you still wanted pink
I tried red
I tried blood rubies filling wine glasses
I tried red velvet with white lace
But I’m not red
And you wanted at least red
So I tried purple
Cloaked in grapes and the colors of royalty
Wore an amethyst crown
Let myself be swallowed in grape juice and plums
But I wasn’t purple
And yet you still pulled me to...
#identity
#LGBT
#confessional
#acceptance
#masculinity
323 reads
0 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
18th Jan 2020 4:47am
18th Jan 2020 4:47am
Please Don't See
Please don't see me as I sob over a 4 year old memory that shouldn't hurt anymore.
Please don't see me and continue tapping away at your phone as I tap my leg and count to try and calm the 3 no 10 no 20 thoughts racing through my head at once.
Please don't see me in the lobby to the therapist office because God forbid you feel pity for me and I have to pretend you don't look just like the doctors looking at the bruises and muscle of the legs that I hate so much.
Please don't see meas I fight against anxiety while baking because despite my trust I can't stop...
Please don't see me and continue tapping away at your phone as I tap my leg and count to try and calm the 3 no 10 no 20 thoughts racing through my head at once.
Please don't see me in the lobby to the therapist office because God forbid you feel pity for me and I have to pretend you don't look just like the doctors looking at the bruises and muscle of the legs that I hate so much.
Please don't see meas I fight against anxiety while baking because despite my trust I can't stop...
#anxiety
#PTSD
#suffering #disappointment
#suffering #disappointment
365 reads
1 Comment
SELF POEM
Published
24th Jan 2019 11:14pm
24th Jan 2019 11:14pm
A Silent Killer
PTSD is a silent killer
Ripping through your night
Raging through your day
It's 1 am sobbing
And 2 am recovery
It's scream-crying into blankets
As minutes turn to hours
And hours into minutes
It's begging for release with raw throats
And checking the date for the fifth time
Next session can come fast enough
It's joking about old trauma one day
And crippling at the slightest reminder the next
It's sideways glances on a crowded sidewalk
And a thousand thoughts over coffee
It's...
Ripping through your night
Raging through your day
It's 1 am sobbing
And 2 am recovery
It's scream-crying into blankets
As minutes turn to hours
And hours into minutes
It's begging for release with raw throats
And checking the date for the fifth time
Next session can come fast enough
It's joking about old trauma one day
And crippling at the slightest reminder the next
It's sideways glances on a crowded sidewalk
And a thousand thoughts over coffee
It's...
#MentalHealth
#PTSD
#nightmares #disability
#nightmares #disability
419 reads
0 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
24th Jan 2019 8:04am
24th Jan 2019 8:04am
PTSD
Hi
I'm PTSD
You might know me as Shell Shock
Or perhaps Battle Fatigue
You may know me through a friend
Or maybe you know me firsthand
I might keep you up at night
Or maybe I take hold of your day
Waging year-old wars in a young soldiers mind
Ensuring little ones never hold their father's hand
I can't be cured
But looking at your searches, you know that
Go on, try to talk about me
I can seal your lips with belts and gunfire
And every time you visit you therapist I only get worse ...
I'm PTSD
You might know me as Shell Shock
Or perhaps Battle Fatigue
You may know me through a friend
Or maybe you know me firsthand
I might keep you up at night
Or maybe I take hold of your day
Waging year-old wars in a young soldiers mind
Ensuring little ones never hold their father's hand
I can't be cured
But looking at your searches, you know that
Go on, try to talk about me
I can seal your lips with belts and gunfire
And every time you visit you therapist I only get worse ...
#MentalHealth
#PTSD
437 reads
0 Comments
DU Poetry : Submissions by The_Starstruck
Page:
