Submissions by Nil (Nolan)
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
SELF POEM
Published
25th Jan 2025 1:36am
25th Jan 2025 1:36am
Some kinda recursive stress thing.
I only get happy when I'm in these.
Liminal trance states.
Where I can forget.
Linear time.
And,
It's worse than I ever told you.
In my whole life.
Cause.
Remember.
I didn't tell you.
A God damned.
Thing.
Liminal trance states.
Where I can forget.
Linear time.
And,
It's worse than I ever told you.
In my whole life.
Cause.
Remember.
I didn't tell you.
A God damned.
Thing.
#hate
#sadness
#shame
52 reads
0 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
25th Jan 2025 1:33am
25th Jan 2025 1:33am
Identity through time.
I crytpically write my fate.
With each cigarette.
Dying of pulmonary oedema.
An abstract aneurysm.
Some kinda blood clot.
And.
My pressure is high.
My lungs.
Black.
But God.
Won't let me.
Die.
So I hack up until I get the feeling.
Of vomiting in my lungs.
A torch song.
Dry hacking until.
It dislodges.
From these maladaptive.
Coping mechanisms.
Life in a nutshell.
Neurotically wistful about neotonous memories.
While your bad behaviour.
Takes...
With each cigarette.
Dying of pulmonary oedema.
An abstract aneurysm.
Some kinda blood clot.
And.
My pressure is high.
My lungs.
Black.
But God.
Won't let me.
Die.
So I hack up until I get the feeling.
Of vomiting in my lungs.
A torch song.
Dry hacking until.
It dislodges.
From these maladaptive.
Coping mechanisms.
Life in a nutshell.
Neurotically wistful about neotonous memories.
While your bad behaviour.
Takes...
#sadness
111 reads
1 Comment
SPIRITUAL POEM
Published
23rd Jan 2025 7:24pm
23rd Jan 2025 7:24pm
Vision 2
The sun impresses fire into my being.
And.
I want to steal it.
And bury it deep.
In Tyrannus' depth.
I walked among the funeral pyres.
Caked in the dust of so many dead.
Things.
And.
On the horizon is coming autumn.
In the air is stinging winter.
How many cycles left?
How many austerities.
Til I break through.
To the Gods and spirits.
And, offer my taboo trickster spirit.
Some blood.
From a sacrificial offering.
And.
I want to steal it.
And bury it deep.
In Tyrannus' depth.
I walked among the funeral pyres.
Caked in the dust of so many dead.
Things.
And.
On the horizon is coming autumn.
In the air is stinging winter.
How many cycles left?
How many austerities.
Til I break through.
To the Gods and spirits.
And, offer my taboo trickster spirit.
Some blood.
From a sacrificial offering.
#religion
61 reads
1 Comment
SPIRITUAL POEM
Published
23rd Jan 2025 7:20pm
23rd Jan 2025 7:20pm
Vision 1
It cuts like fire.
It burns a knife inside my soul.
This is irrelevant.
This is unmediated.
And on all the indigo sunsets.
I etch my epitath.
I am in darkness.
The light has gone out.
And.
I am now rotting.
Fetid.
Foul.
It burns a knife inside my soul.
This is irrelevant.
This is unmediated.
And on all the indigo sunsets.
I etch my epitath.
I am in darkness.
The light has gone out.
And.
I am now rotting.
Fetid.
Foul.
#religion
62 reads
2 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
20th Jan 2025 6:58pm
20th Jan 2025 6:58pm
Forcing Myself to Write to Assert Control Over my Failure.
Tyler says.
My problem has always.
Been my paranoia.
But he neglects the self doubt.
The self hatred.
Or the hallucinations.
And, every day I struggle.
With the will to live.
Especially when it turns out.
I'm not really that unique.
Id hate to be the person.
Who admires.
My imperfections.
My problem has always.
Been my paranoia.
But he neglects the self doubt.
The self hatred.
Or the hallucinations.
And, every day I struggle.
With the will to live.
Especially when it turns out.
I'm not really that unique.
Id hate to be the person.
Who admires.
My imperfections.
#bittersweet
#boredom
#sadness
43 reads
0 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
20th Jan 2025 6:52pm
20th Jan 2025 6:52pm
Schizo affective
Every new beginning.
Exists more poignantly.
In my fantasy.
Than in reality.
And the grandiose delusions.
Are finally wrong.
I'm simply.
Mundane.
Important to no ones.
Story.
I have no deus ex machina.
Just personal private moments.
And poorly worded.
Psychosis poetry.
Exists more poignantly.
In my fantasy.
Than in reality.
And the grandiose delusions.
Are finally wrong.
I'm simply.
Mundane.
Important to no ones.
Story.
I have no deus ex machina.
Just personal private moments.
And poorly worded.
Psychosis poetry.
#bittersweet
#sadness
#shame
43 reads
0 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
19th Jan 2025 9:44pm
19th Jan 2025 9:44pm
Torpor of routine
I'm.
Not.
Missing.
Out.
On.
Life.
I'm.
Just.
Waiting.
To.
Die.
It's.
Not.
Exactly.
What.
You.
Want.
But,
I.
Never.
Asked.
Not.
Missing.
Out.
On.
Life.
I'm.
Just.
Waiting.
To.
Die.
It's.
Not.
Exactly.
What.
You.
Want.
But,
I.
Never.
Asked.
#boredom
#grief
#sadness
45 reads
0 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
19th Jan 2025 9:41pm
19th Jan 2025 9:41pm
One word and concisely miserable.
The.
Sun.
Has.
Burnt.
My.
Hangover.
Into.
My.
Soul
I'm.
Gasping.
For.
Air.
With.
Leather.
Backed.
Lungs.
And.
Baby.
Maybe.
You.
Got.
Me.
All.
Wrong.
As.
I.
Lurch.
Forward.
Or.
Lay.
Down.
And.
Fade.
Into.
The.
Bleeding.
Days.
Where.
Yesterday.
Became.
Today.
In.
The.
Sunset.
With. ...
Sun.
Has.
Burnt.
My.
Hangover.
Into.
My.
Soul
I'm.
Gasping.
For.
Air.
With.
Leather.
Backed.
Lungs.
And.
Baby.
Maybe.
You.
Got.
Me.
All.
Wrong.
As.
I.
Lurch.
Forward.
Or.
Lay.
Down.
And.
Fade.
Into.
The.
Bleeding.
Days.
Where.
Yesterday.
Became.
Today.
In.
The.
Sunset.
With. ...
#boredom
#denial
44 reads
0 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
14th Jan 2025 3:10am
14th Jan 2025 3:10am
Koan 11
Everyday.
I struggle.
To find.
Basic.
Motivations.
To live.
Other.
Than.
Drugs.
I struggle.
To find.
Basic.
Motivations.
To live.
Other.
Than.
Drugs.
#sadness
69 reads
0 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
14th Jan 2025 3:07am
14th Jan 2025 3:07am
One word exasperations.
Today.
I feel.
Like.
I don't.
Wanna
See.
Tomorrow.
With.
Cognizant eyes.
My utopia.
Of.
Endless release.
The.
Hope.
For.
Annihilation.
Just one day.
Of.
Non.
Existence.
Forever.
I feel.
Like.
I don't.
Wanna
See.
Tomorrow.
With.
Cognizant eyes.
My utopia.
Of.
Endless release.
The.
Hope.
For.
Annihilation.
Just one day.
Of.
Non.
Existence.
Forever.
#sadness
41 reads
0 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
12th Jan 2025 11:51pm
12th Jan 2025 11:51pm
Koan 10
Sing.
Me.
A melody.
And make it.
Out of tune.
Off.
Key.
Me.
A melody.
And make it.
Out of tune.
Off.
Key.
#boredom
#denial
33 reads
0 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
12th Jan 2025 11:25pm
12th Jan 2025 11:25pm
Coulda been
One day.
I'll.
Wake.
Up.
And.
This.
Will.
Make me.
Happy.
And none of the things.
You've ever.
Done to me.
Will.
Hurt.
None of the loss.
The good byes.
To people.
Who were.
Never.
Really there.
And I'll dance.
In that fantasy.
Coming.
Back.
To
Something.
I.
Tried.
To.
Love
I'll.
Wake.
Up.
And.
This.
Will.
Make me.
Happy.
And none of the things.
You've ever.
Done to me.
Will.
Hurt.
None of the loss.
The good byes.
To people.
Who were.
Never.
Really there.
And I'll dance.
In that fantasy.
Coming.
Back.
To
Something.
I.
Tried.
To.
Love
#apathy
#disappointment
#heartbroken
62 reads
0 Comments
DU Poetry : Submissions by Nil (Nolan)
