Submissions by MortCrusia
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
Poet Introduction
Writing has been a way to share my soul...
SELF POEM
Published
14th Jun 2011 7:30pm
14th Jun 2011 7:30pm
close off
close your eyes
take a deep breath
lock the world out
internalize
build walls of steel
around your feelings
never break them down again
never allow anyone in again
leave this world as you have entered it
alone....
take a deep breath
lock the world out
internalize
build walls of steel
around your feelings
never break them down again
never allow anyone in again
leave this world as you have entered it
alone....
772 reads
4 Comments
MISCELLANEOUS POEM
Published
13th Jun 2011 10:58am
13th Jun 2011 10:58am
Daddy
The day you answered God's call
left a vacuum in space and time.
My world came crashing down
I couldn't breathe, couldn't talk.
I felt so numb, I couldn't walk.
It could not be true, a huge mistake
it was just not possible to accept,
to comprehend,
that you were gone.
I was sure you would wake up
And then there would be trouble!
You where the strongest person I knew;
In my mind there was nothing you
could not survive,
nothing that could take you away
I was so sure a mistake was made,
that you would wake up,
take my...
left a vacuum in space and time.
My world came crashing down
I couldn't breathe, couldn't talk.
I felt so numb, I couldn't walk.
It could not be true, a huge mistake
it was just not possible to accept,
to comprehend,
that you were gone.
I was sure you would wake up
And then there would be trouble!
You where the strongest person I knew;
In my mind there was nothing you
could not survive,
nothing that could take you away
I was so sure a mistake was made,
that you would wake up,
take my...
754 reads
1 Comment
LOVE POEM
Published
12th Jun 2011 11:50am
12th Jun 2011 11:50am
The Lie I tell myself
Every time we're together
I accept what little you offer
greedily absorbing it
Like an addict getting my fix
Never asking for more but hoping and praying,
O God! How I pray!
And I give everything I have to give
never expecting to get more.
I know that each time is a test
You use my body for your pleasure
Pressing my boundaries
Hoping I might say no
Waiting for an excuse
To end it all
To say that nothing has changed
I am still not enough
you can keep testing me,
pushing me,using me…
Hoping, I'm sure
for the...
I accept what little you offer
greedily absorbing it
Like an addict getting my fix
Never asking for more but hoping and praying,
O God! How I pray!
And I give everything I have to give
never expecting to get more.
I know that each time is a test
You use my body for your pleasure
Pressing my boundaries
Hoping I might say no
Waiting for an excuse
To end it all
To say that nothing has changed
I am still not enough
you can keep testing me,
pushing me,using me…
Hoping, I'm sure
for the...
972 reads
4 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
12th Jun 2011 11:43am
12th Jun 2011 11:43am
Tired
I'm tired of words.
I'm tired of carefully calculating each fragment.
I've exhausted myself with all this thoughts.
I'm overwhelmed with all the thought processes weighing me down before I make any decision.
Before I conjure a sentence.
Before words fall off my tongue.
I just want to stop thinking and dissolve.
I want to be weightless but I don't know if floating away is going to be enough..
I'm tired of carefully calculating each fragment.
I've exhausted myself with all this thoughts.
I'm overwhelmed with all the thought processes weighing me down before I make any decision.
Before I conjure a sentence.
Before words fall off my tongue.
I just want to stop thinking and dissolve.
I want to be weightless but I don't know if floating away is going to be enough..
834 reads
3 Comments
LOVE POEM
Published
11th Jun 2011 6:32pm
11th Jun 2011 6:32pm
I'm Broken
How many times can my heart shatter
into millions of pieces before killing me?
How much more pain could I withstand before
it breaks me down completely?
Living like this is hell
every word, every gesture measured
not knowing if I've any effect
if I've any chance of winning
back your love that I've so carelessly lost,
am I passing this test?
or failing as with all the others
you sent past me
without me ever knowing.
I cannot learn to unlove you
I don't know how you have done it
maybe you never truly loved me
but if I...
into millions of pieces before killing me?
How much more pain could I withstand before
it breaks me down completely?
Living like this is hell
every word, every gesture measured
not knowing if I've any effect
if I've any chance of winning
back your love that I've so carelessly lost,
am I passing this test?
or failing as with all the others
you sent past me
without me ever knowing.
I cannot learn to unlove you
I don't know how you have done it
maybe you never truly loved me
but if I...
822 reads
0 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
11th Jun 2011 6:28pm
11th Jun 2011 6:28pm
Ink Blots
Silent, screaming blood covers the words
as they stutter over the torn page,
as though the ink in the bottle has been replaced
with the tears of scars covering our hands.
Tears left only to smear these words,
every syllable, broken and blurred.
Shadows flicker in the dim candlelight
and our hearts start to falter.
Collapsed sparks of life calling through
the splintered glass in the window pane
awaken us after dreaming
in the slumber of the thirst of insomniacs.
Scars and broken bones,
not quite healed are our...
as they stutter over the torn page,
as though the ink in the bottle has been replaced
with the tears of scars covering our hands.
Tears left only to smear these words,
every syllable, broken and blurred.
Shadows flicker in the dim candlelight
and our hearts start to falter.
Collapsed sparks of life calling through
the splintered glass in the window pane
awaken us after dreaming
in the slumber of the thirst of insomniacs.
Scars and broken bones,
not quite healed are our...
746 reads
0 Comments
MISCELLANEOUS POEM
Published
10th Jun 2011 11:15pm
10th Jun 2011 11:15pm
Hopeless, Hopeful Nightmare
I have walked this beaten path
a thousand times since that week.
Over and over in my dreams.
Enter through the front door,
cut across the lobby,
straight to the stairs.
Go up one flight to the next floor.
Get off, take a seat and wait.
And wait…
And wait…
Doors open on the right from the stairs.
ICU opening for visitors.
Take a deep breath,
steel my nerves,
I have to be strong.
Walk down the hall
Turn left into ICU
Take the first right passage
and find the corner room
on the left with the...
a thousand times since that week.
Over and over in my dreams.
Enter through the front door,
cut across the lobby,
straight to the stairs.
Go up one flight to the next floor.
Get off, take a seat and wait.
And wait…
And wait…
Doors open on the right from the stairs.
ICU opening for visitors.
Take a deep breath,
steel my nerves,
I have to be strong.
Walk down the hall
Turn left into ICU
Take the first right passage
and find the corner room
on the left with the...
720 reads
1 Comment
LOVE POEM
Published
9th Jun 2011 9:43am
9th Jun 2011 9:43am
I never knew
She's no angel who came sneaking into
our room on tiptoe, with no invitation
You tumult opened the door to her,
I couldn't keep her out
When the light came on and I could see,
clearly see her wicked wanton way.
My heart was missing...
Stolen while I lay in the dark,
dreaming of better times.
I did not know right then
what was missing,
I only knew the profound
and bottomless pain
I could not recognize myself, or you
Her shroud covered all that I knew,
her black pall still lingers;
I see its shadow on...
our room on tiptoe, with no invitation
You tumult opened the door to her,
I couldn't keep her out
When the light came on and I could see,
clearly see her wicked wanton way.
My heart was missing...
Stolen while I lay in the dark,
dreaming of better times.
I did not know right then
what was missing,
I only knew the profound
and bottomless pain
I could not recognize myself, or you
Her shroud covered all that I knew,
her black pall still lingers;
I see its shadow on...
849 reads
3 Comments
LOVE POEM
Published
9th Jun 2011 9:38am
9th Jun 2011 9:38am
Despair
Sleep brings no relief,
only endless dreams waking up
realizing that my dreams
have followed me into reality
I am not loved anymore
I have reached my shelf life
"best before 5 years" must
be stamp on my heart
I have no concept anymore
of human touch and tenderness
I lay at night hugging myself
as close as I can get to being held
I started to build a wall to
try and keep sorrow out
It has not worked,
instead no one talks to me or care for me
or act even remotely interested in my life,...
only endless dreams waking up
realizing that my dreams
have followed me into reality
I am not loved anymore
I have reached my shelf life
"best before 5 years" must
be stamp on my heart
I have no concept anymore
of human touch and tenderness
I lay at night hugging myself
as close as I can get to being held
I started to build a wall to
try and keep sorrow out
It has not worked,
instead no one talks to me or care for me
or act even remotely interested in my life,...
863 reads
4 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
7th Jun 2011 9:17pm
7th Jun 2011 9:17pm
The Lie
Here I stand
a stranger between friends, family and colleagues
wearing my made-up self
like a second skin.
Every one of you claiming to “know” me.
What a joke “ know me”
when you only see what I allow you to see.
Nothing more.
Nothing less.
I am an actor playing a self-made role to perfection.
No one knows ME inside.
Or really care to know.
Oh! You pretend to care.
But prefer not to know more
about my ugly scars.
My repulsive face I hide behind my mask,
my ugly bare alien soul.
My all-consuming rage and self loathing....
a stranger between friends, family and colleagues
wearing my made-up self
like a second skin.
Every one of you claiming to “know” me.
What a joke “ know me”
when you only see what I allow you to see.
Nothing more.
Nothing less.
I am an actor playing a self-made role to perfection.
No one knows ME inside.
Or really care to know.
Oh! You pretend to care.
But prefer not to know more
about my ugly scars.
My repulsive face I hide behind my mask,
my ugly bare alien soul.
My all-consuming rage and self loathing....
770 reads
2 Comments
LOVE POEM
Published
7th Jun 2011 6:47pm
7th Jun 2011 6:47pm
I love you. I hate you.
Here I am having to face
this ugly truth,
the story of my life.
You are here with me
but not truly "here".
You said that at the time
you meant every word.
What does that even mean?
How could you tell me
every day for a decade
that you love me completely,
that you want to spend forever together,
that you respect me,
care for me,
cannot live without me.
You Made me trust you completely
and then turn around and say
you don't love me anymore.
You can't believe I didn't know
there was someone...
this ugly truth,
the story of my life.
You are here with me
but not truly "here".
You said that at the time
you meant every word.
What does that even mean?
How could you tell me
every day for a decade
that you love me completely,
that you want to spend forever together,
that you respect me,
care for me,
cannot live without me.
You Made me trust you completely
and then turn around and say
you don't love me anymore.
You can't believe I didn't know
there was someone...
2409 reads
0 Comments
DU Poetry : Submissions by MortCrusia
