Submissions by Judojugs (Anthony Dicaprio)
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
Poet Introduction
Hello; I am a young poet from Wichita Kansas. I write about depression for the most part. Like every writer ever. You should probably skip me and move on to somebody else.
SELF POEM
Published
15th Feb 2018 11:10pm
15th Feb 2018 11:10pm
Martyr
I don't know why I did it
I don't know what came over me
I don't know how many excuses I could make
I. Am. Just. A. Plague.
You know why you did it
You know exactly what came over you
There's no excuse for being a monster
I. Do. Not. Deserve. Love.
She loves me even after this
after I broke her trust
after she finally let me back in
I. Am. A. Fucking. Cheat.
You're killing her
you never deserved her trust
she will never let you in again
I. Can't. Marry. Her. Anymore.
...
I don't know what came over me
I don't know how many excuses I could make
I. Am. Just. A. Plague.
You know why you did it
You know exactly what came over you
There's no excuse for being a monster
I. Do. Not. Deserve. Love.
She loves me even after this
after I broke her trust
after she finally let me back in
I. Am. A. Fucking. Cheat.
You're killing her
you never deserved her trust
she will never let you in again
I. Can't. Marry. Her. Anymore.
...
455 reads
1 Comment
SELF POEM
Published
26th Jun 2017 3:17am
26th Jun 2017 3:17am
Pesticide
Suffering from physical exhaustion
bite me with this mental shooting
It tastes of pure pesticide
and I think about it
whether anybody really is on my side
insecurity is my worst impurity
and no matter how hard I hide
All I taste is pure pesticide
I need to change
because I'm self aware
of my faults and my self destruction
now isn't that strange
I will push further
I'll take it in stride
So one day I forget the taste of pesticide
bite me with this mental shooting
It tastes of pure pesticide
and I think about it
whether anybody really is on my side
insecurity is my worst impurity
and no matter how hard I hide
All I taste is pure pesticide
I need to change
because I'm self aware
of my faults and my self destruction
now isn't that strange
I will push further
I'll take it in stride
So one day I forget the taste of pesticide
532 reads
0 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
20th Mar 2017 1:14pm
20th Mar 2017 1:14pm
Stars and Street Lights
How sweet
This masquerade
My own internal screaming
"Why"
My serenade
because it was me who
is still not over you
I'm sorry dear
but I am not the me
that you keep trying to see
but even when this is all so clear
it is always me who
is still not over you
Sometimes I wonder if you miss me
or if you'd even bother to kiss me
after all we've been through
but then I see one new message on skype
and it reminds me that it's me who
is still not over you
I hate to break it to you but...
This masquerade
My own internal screaming
"Why"
My serenade
because it was me who
is still not over you
I'm sorry dear
but I am not the me
that you keep trying to see
but even when this is all so clear
it is always me who
is still not over you
Sometimes I wonder if you miss me
or if you'd even bother to kiss me
after all we've been through
but then I see one new message on skype
and it reminds me that it's me who
is still not over you
I hate to break it to you but...
525 reads
0 Comments
DRUGS POEM
Published
12th Mar 2017 1:49pm
12th Mar 2017 1:49pm
A condom for the heart
You're throwing a tantrum because i found someone i can grow with.
Not someone that i have to drag along the whole damn way.
She's says to me
I let her free
Because I'm just her burden
I got attatched
But now I sit here
I'm hurtin'
Used to say shit like forever and always
But honestly all it is
is that I'm waiting to part ways
money is just an object
a part of my self destructing project
because I'm not good enough for recovery
so welcome to high times introductory
because the more you smoke the less you feel ...
Not someone that i have to drag along the whole damn way.
She's says to me
I let her free
Because I'm just her burden
I got attatched
But now I sit here
I'm hurtin'
Used to say shit like forever and always
But honestly all it is
is that I'm waiting to part ways
money is just an object
a part of my self destructing project
because I'm not good enough for recovery
so welcome to high times introductory
because the more you smoke the less you feel ...
575 reads
2 Comments
DRUGS POEM
Published
23rd Feb 2017 4:27am
23rd Feb 2017 4:27am
Consuming
I sit alone in this room
6 in the fucking morning
It's so morbidly dark
All my life is filled with artificial flooring
Because I choose not to go outside
All my life is work, sleep, and staring at screens
Smoking away the pain from this love so unseen
Because I'm scared to take risks
All my family are dicks
But I love them so much
I just ask
Why they have to do me like this
I've never been so fucking depressed
Over actual shit that mattered
Because one wrong step will change my future
But it's all going to be okay. ...
6 in the fucking morning
It's so morbidly dark
All my life is filled with artificial flooring
Because I choose not to go outside
All my life is work, sleep, and staring at screens
Smoking away the pain from this love so unseen
Because I'm scared to take risks
All my family are dicks
But I love them so much
I just ask
Why they have to do me like this
I've never been so fucking depressed
Over actual shit that mattered
Because one wrong step will change my future
But it's all going to be okay. ...
606 reads
1 Comment
LOVE POEM
Published
27th Nov 2015 4:28am
27th Nov 2015 4:28am
Your miles turn to years
5000 miles is a millennium
Every moment I wait gets me tiresome
Won't you just come home
I wait on my bed waiting for your call
Sometimes I wonder if I could survive without you at all
If I just had the strength I could run away
Pull you into my arms so that I know that I'm okay
5000 miles is a millennium
Every moment I wait gets me tiresome
So please
Won't you just come come
I wake up every morning thinking about your eyes
And how waking to them every morning would be a pleasant surprise
I miss...
Every moment I wait gets me tiresome
Won't you just come home
I wait on my bed waiting for your call
Sometimes I wonder if I could survive without you at all
If I just had the strength I could run away
Pull you into my arms so that I know that I'm okay
5000 miles is a millennium
Every moment I wait gets me tiresome
So please
Won't you just come come
I wake up every morning thinking about your eyes
And how waking to them every morning would be a pleasant surprise
I miss...
623 reads
2 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
16th Aug 2015 5:35am
16th Aug 2015 5:35am
Here I am, an Anagram
So here I am,
An anagram
I am manic, when I panic
Anxiety?
It frightens me
It's good to know all the days are nightmares
long ago it lingered
your dreams you would dream came true
Or did I dream to have a voila!
pierced in her violent violin
weave that song my muse, my mistress
Because here I am,
your Anagram
An anagram
I am manic, when I panic
Anxiety?
It frightens me
It's good to know all the days are nightmares
long ago it lingered
your dreams you would dream came true
Or did I dream to have a voila!
pierced in her violent violin
weave that song my muse, my mistress
Because here I am,
your Anagram
533 reads
0 Comments
DARK POEM
Published
22nd Apr 2015 00:32am
22nd Apr 2015 00:32am
Dull blades hurt the best
I'm so sick of this tombstone
I'm so sick of travelling back to hell
But it helps in itself to relieve all of my tension
because when a blade is a blade
I don't care if it's dull
because when I hate myself
my emotions are null
So I force it out of my system
let it leak out of my brain stem
because without this creative juice
I go back to the pain
that I hold over myself
but that's when I realize it all was in vain
because when a blade is a blade
I don't care if it's dull
because when I hate myself
my emotions are null
So I...
I'm so sick of travelling back to hell
But it helps in itself to relieve all of my tension
because when a blade is a blade
I don't care if it's dull
because when I hate myself
my emotions are null
So I force it out of my system
let it leak out of my brain stem
because without this creative juice
I go back to the pain
that I hold over myself
but that's when I realize it all was in vain
because when a blade is a blade
I don't care if it's dull
because when I hate myself
my emotions are null
So I...
617 reads
2 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
13th Apr 2015 12:30pm
13th Apr 2015 12:30pm
My therapy session with the demons
People like me have a name
Failures
I've had better conversations with myself,
than any conscious my same age
It's a lonely world
Some just find out sooner
She might be my world
But I'm still a glitch
a stitch
In the fabric of this fucked up world
I've never been a fully sane human
I've never truly been a human
I spend more time with myself than what I would advise
It's dangerous to leave me with my own thoughts
It's best I keep quiet
Wouldn't want them to try and
Fix me
We all have our demons
I've...
Failures
I've had better conversations with myself,
than any conscious my same age
It's a lonely world
Some just find out sooner
She might be my world
But I'm still a glitch
a stitch
In the fabric of this fucked up world
I've never been a fully sane human
I've never truly been a human
I spend more time with myself than what I would advise
It's dangerous to leave me with my own thoughts
It's best I keep quiet
Wouldn't want them to try and
Fix me
We all have our demons
I've...
685 reads
2 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
13th Apr 2015 1:31am
13th Apr 2015 1:31am
I found you
I found you today
I still love you
For when you used to comfort me
Make me feel warm
But,
you were a selfish lover
You stole from me
you took something away
something I am still scrambling to get back
My SANITY
I'm not made of stone
But you would know that right?
You were my hero
But you were also my villain
I found you today
I thought about throwing you away
But all those memories bring back what's inside
Pain, hate, self disgust
Let's me know how better I am now
So goodbye my dear lover...
I still love you
For when you used to comfort me
Make me feel warm
But,
you were a selfish lover
You stole from me
you took something away
something I am still scrambling to get back
My SANITY
I'm not made of stone
But you would know that right?
You were my hero
But you were also my villain
I found you today
I thought about throwing you away
But all those memories bring back what's inside
Pain, hate, self disgust
Let's me know how better I am now
So goodbye my dear lover...
672 reads
0 Comments
LOVE POEM
Published
10th Apr 2015 5:44am
10th Apr 2015 5:44am
A home in me
I'm caught between, how it is how it could be
I couldn't believe you were falling apart again
Can't believe it's all so hard and when,
You fall, I'll gladly follow you in.
Just sleep love, Just dream love
Don't start letting go,
I can be your home
I'm caught between, how it is how it should be
I start to wonder, just how do you love me?
Love hurts
Sometimes it works
But I've gotta let you know
Just sleep love, just dream love
Don't start letting go,
I can be your home
I'm piecing you pack together
I try to...
I couldn't believe you were falling apart again
Can't believe it's all so hard and when,
You fall, I'll gladly follow you in.
Just sleep love, Just dream love
Don't start letting go,
I can be your home
I'm caught between, how it is how it should be
I start to wonder, just how do you love me?
Love hurts
Sometimes it works
But I've gotta let you know
Just sleep love, just dream love
Don't start letting go,
I can be your home
I'm piecing you pack together
I try to...
683 reads
1 Comment
DARK POEM
Published
2nd Apr 2015 4:12am
2nd Apr 2015 4:12am
Chaos days, Chaos pays
Long vivid living Labile night
Fearful fumbling fast first fright
Dark descending dimming day
Happy hearted heated home
Chaos Days Could Come Dark
Vivid viewful Vengeful vore
Great Greedy gradual gore
Chaos Pays In The Flesh
Timid Timely old man
Ticking tocking tacky man
Chaos Days Come In Time
Where white winded warriors rise,
Black Boasting barricaded borders form
Chaos Pays In Forgotten Hope
Hypocrisy hypnotizing hardened leaders
Could care to consider keeping in common
Chaos Days...
Fearful fumbling fast first fright
Dark descending dimming day
Happy hearted heated home
Chaos Days Could Come Dark
Vivid viewful Vengeful vore
Great Greedy gradual gore
Chaos Pays In The Flesh
Timid Timely old man
Ticking tocking tacky man
Chaos Days Come In Time
Where white winded warriors rise,
Black Boasting barricaded borders form
Chaos Pays In Forgotten Hope
Hypocrisy hypnotizing hardened leaders
Could care to consider keeping in common
Chaos Days...
717 reads
0 Comments
DU Poetry : Submissions by Judojugs (Anthony Dicaprio)
