Submissions by BeautifulChaos23

This is random. most likely doesnt make sense.. But it does to me. Help if you can tho.
I havent sleept for days. Five hours for the past week, seems like not enough.
I cant figure out why, whats wrong that I cant..
When I do get to sleep, I hate the dreams I have. They are terrible. Blood and sacrifice, people I love being hurt and disapearing.. I dont understand at all. When I was a little girl, I had some very fucked up, messed up things happen to me. My mother told me she hated me, wished I was never born, that i was the reason for her pain and thats why she was so messed...

I feel what I wish I didnt,
I see but I wish I could see more,
I dream things that I dont understand.
I pick every little thing apart.
I'm big, not skiny, have many curves.
I don't know who I am or why I am here.
All I know is that you made me see me.
Virgil.. I've never met anyone with that name.
But I'm glad that I did.
He makes me see what he sees in me.
Makes me see what others see in me,
Makes me see what I have yet to see deep inside of me.
I feel because others need me to, need me to be there for them when others can't be.
I see...

People have so much hate.
A rage rushes through your body,
It can become so bad on a high rate.
That you might just kill somebody.
A boy once told me that he could see
A different person, a figher inside me.
I said no way, it cant be true.
So he hit me and I hit him too.
We went back and forth just like this,
Untill I saw that the truth was his.
He said that the best way
Was to find away to keep the hate.
Build it up and just wait.
Then let loose and you wont have to try,
All you need is to let your rage fly.
Then you can come out...

midaugust, and it's raining. a much needed rain. like heaven falling down, forgiving this terrible city. there is a small awning outside of my window, and i would love nothing more than to sit out in this little rain shower.

and then the rain makes me think of you

and i push you away...

this room makes me feel like i'm out of place with time. there is a white wicker chair sitting by the bed, along with several mismatched furniture pieces, with countless items of various ages sitting on them, looking delicate and gorgeous, doing nothing more than collecting dust....