Jokes

A man is shipwrecked on a desert island with only a pig and a dog for company. Being without human companionship starts to drive him crazy, so one night he cosies up to the pig, tweaking its nose, tending its hooves, etcetera. The dog goes mad with jealousy, however, and attacks him. Some weeks later the dog falls asleep and the man tries once more with the pig, but the dog wakes up and attacks him again.

Months go by and another shipwreck finally arrives, a beautiful woman to boot. On seeing this vision emerge from the haze, the man falls to his knees with tears in his eyes and cries out in relief, ‘Oh thank you, thank you! You’ve got no idea how grateful I am to see you! Please, I beg you…

Hold that damn dog!’