Suicide

Can I post a poem I wrote that touches on the topic of suicide?

Alone

A heavy heart and a burdened mind sets fire to everything in its path. Caught up in the day to day living while life passes by. A shell of an existence waiting on death. A chance of good fortune or a joke of the Gods of love so tender bitter and sweet that gives you hope to accomplish great feats. For a moment in time life seems fine but  that cruel twist of fate takes it all away in a blink of an eye. Why bother to fight the tide just go with flow, hearts are meant to break and tears are meant to flow, cause ultimately we are all meant to be alone.  

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-5S_EZoshksM/TvkiA0-GZ-I/AAAAAAAAB38/0_fRg5dgDqs/s400/suicide.jpg

SUICIDE


The end is near
It is crystal clear
She who lives by the sword
Will die by her own
It is the quickest way out
Think of the relief it brings
Dropping the weights
My shoulders are lighter
Insufficient funds
Insanity not relieved
Your love for me
Cannot save me
From my inner self
I cannot be glad
Unless someone is sad
Trapped inside this body of mine
Tortured by my brain
Tortured by the unexplained
Experimented with everything
Trying to deal with the problem
You cannot say I have not tried
No more living trapped inside.

A faint reflection
I see a person filled to the brim with disgust
Worth nothing piece of shit, no one could trust
never sweet or tender always full of spewing anger
I put on quite the disguise
I sit with wonder how to right my lies
but, sooner or later; under this rain cloud
All my wrongs will catch up with me
I see a horrible person with these eyes
Allowing me a room for creativity
 
Room 479
 
All you have to do is kick the bucket
hold your head under water
The moment you realize, an instant
Why bother?
For
It's time to unleash my anger
It's time to face Room 479
Address; located in my mind
The room I designate to suicide
I've walked past it far too many times
Always with the courage to just walk by

(Can we post more than one? Here is an old one of mine.)

My own downfall

Where do i even begin
I guess I've never really fit in
This life of mine has been an awful test
but I truly tried to give it my best

Drowning in my own depression
Fighting this life's oppression
But I prepare for my last stand
with my razor blade in hand

To bring an end to it once and for all
to be the cause of my own downfall
I think of how amazing it is going to be
when i am once at last completely free

I watch as my blood flows down the drain
I always been amazed at how it takes away pain
And as everyone is asleep in their beds
I lie on the bathroom floor dead

...

They told me that emptiness was the lack of anything.
I grew up with this logic,
but I am empty and I can feel it.
They said that there was nothing, but I can feel something there.

It occupies the corner of my heart with the cobwebs and the spiders.
It hurts sometimes,
but most days, I’m so jaded by its apathy to realize that something is hurting me.
I guess, perhaps that’s why they say that there is nothing.
But it is something.
Oh god, is it something.
Step up and try to fix me if you can.

Sunset-



Blood begins to fall,

as thoughts begin to fade.

I think about it all

But memories evade.

A smile on my neck,

Dripping life away.

Blood runs down my chest,

As I slowly start to fade.

Silence all around,

And loneliness sets in,

Alone I shall be found,

A dripping smile 'pon my skin.

I fear this is the end,

I finally escaped my Hate.

The damage is done, my friends,

And I've sealed my hopeless fate.

I wish so bad that I could stay,

but pain has taken me.

I've gone to find my hideaway,

Please, dont take it so badly.

I tried and tried to save my soul,

I fought to no prevail.

I fought myself to gain control,

Alas! I fear I've failed.

Now life runs from my veins,

As I cry here all alone.

I'm sorry, but this pain

It's so severe, it is my own.

Forgive me for what I have done,

I never meant to leave.

I just could not stand to run,

And now the pain's appeased.

I feel my Soul escaping life,

breaking free of all these chains.

The Hurt is gone, there's no more strife,

And now only a corpse remains.

So bury me at sunset,

With thoughts of our lost Time.

And know i dont regret,

the love we've come to find.

BIRD GIRL
She hung low on an autumn day of awakening
The pale of the skies barely touched her skin
Looking close, blue mist covered her face
Bird girls don`t fly, as they fold their wings
One over the other, tried to feed the bird
With sulfur sadness, she bid farewell
Once you cross your fingers, hope you shall
Die and never go to heaven
Hope you shall
Finally
Be allowed to fade
Blood of my blood
Fate of my fate
Sometimes autumn
Comes
Too late

Bring Her Home    (2012)  (SP Summerscales)

Bring her home
please
she's my baby girl
I plead  
she belongs with me
this is wrong
don't you see .

Her bike
lies outside
my pain it hikes
to an all time high
I see her pink hair brush
low can't sink , as it's way to much
bring her home please
my worlds on hold
in the cold
of freeze .


The days , the nights
go by
I strain my pain
for life
memories swirl
my mind , my baby girl  
shadows of her face
I try so hard to trace
devastation seems
to me , to be so lame
I try to call her
I'm ignored
I go insane
I'm her mother , her father
in her life of everyday
if this goes much further
I'll die now anyday
does this mean nothing to you
as you , do turn away  .

Stab me to death
and tear my soul
apart
crush my chest
run me over
in your car
for that is best
than this hole
right through my heart  
I'm the walking dead
in this land of oh so far .

My energy drains
away
like a ghost
in long gone days
my eyes
are now in flames
her voice , my mind does play
I stare
at all her games
they glare
like razor blades
bring my J.J. home
to god
I do so pray ,

Her brothers
and I
are so
now
zombified
we cuddle
and  cry
and they , just don't know
why .

For christs
sake
oh why , is it I
you hate
for she's only
nine
it's not
her choice
to make .

I wish I could explain how your failure disappoints me...

How I somehow feel stained by your fault

Tarnished-- My regret filled shame washes over me in a suffocating wave

All but destroyed my heart lies stricken on the ground before me. Lifeless...

My love for you has beseeched me and not even my own choices can save you now

I feel that now without words to further express myself I am left with nothing

Nothing more to say or do or become... I have lost everything

Of Cemetery Dreams (And Nightmare Scapes)

awoke again to the sounds of death
the creeping silence of restless breath
the sounds I hear I cannot mistake
only death can sound this way

I feel the sun upon my face
enraptured in its warm embrace
within my eyes I see its glow
even though my eyes are closed

a whispered wind invades my ear
I feel the world that I can hear
the channeled sounds of lifeless life
the lonely cries of those who have died

I open my eyes to see the sun
and find the world has come undone
a dark eclipse shades my face
lost within a shadowed embrace

markers with dates of death descend
as far as my eyes can transcend
in every direction I can see
the stones of death surrounding me

wilted flowers with decaying leaves
symbols of love from those who grieve
tattered angels with broken wings
left by those who truly believe

the leaves within the trees have gone
skeletal beings with demon claws
scratching and clawing at the wind
coming to life again and again

I turn to find a place to run
looking to see the warming sun
but the black and grey in the sky
pulls the color from my eyes

from the clouds the rain falls down
it floods my soul and my spirit drowns
below my feet the muddy ground
swallows my shoes and keeps me bound

I hear the whispers of the living dead
their cries for life echo through my head
I cover my ears to mute the screams
but it seems that they re inside of me

to my knees into the mud
I tilt my head to the shadowed sun
I scream aloud at the sky
to silence deaths woeful cries

the falling rain stings my eyes
and burns the color to lifeless white
streams of blood flow down my face
within my mouth the salty taste

I push the mud with my hands
with all my might I try to stand
to my thighs the mud has crept
and now my arms are elbow deep

I feel the muck against my skin
it moves and pulls and draws me in
I strain and fight to break its grasp
until I feel I might collapse

I scream and cry and beg for help
even though I'm by myself
into the wind my lonely pleas
melding with the dead that scream

as whispers creep into my ears
the sounds of death is what I hear
my own demise before my eyes
among the stones of death that rise

peering through the rains that blind
upon a stone my name I find
carved within the granite face
its here that is my resting place

the ground has drawn me to my grave
the trees were clawing at this place
the whispered voices were trying to say
that everything will be ok

to just let go and wait and see
the whispers were meant to comfort me
to try ease my rising fears
even though I refused to hear

the sun reflects on the granite face
the flowers feel its warm embrace
upon the ground I feel its glow
even though my eyes are closed

wilted flowers with drying leaves
left for me by those who grieve
tattered angels with broken wings
left on my stone for company

the whispered voices in the wind
rising up to sing again
a channeled sounds of joyous lives
reunited on the other side

Forgive Me Lover (Parts 1 & 2)

Forgive Me lover.. (Part 1)

Forgive me lover
for I have sinned
I have forsaken you again
to another I have turned my eye
and shared the thoughts within my mind

forgive me lover
for I have sinned
I have shared my flesh again
yet again I have been touched
the temptation was just too much

forgive me lover
for I have sinned
and reneged on my promises
the things I spoke and time thats blurred
and I have gone back on my word

forgive me lover
for I have sinned
I am sorry but I did not intend
to open up old wounds again
forgive me lover for I have sinned

forgive me lover
for I have sinned
I have flirted with the blade again
upon my flesh I felt the steel
anticipation I cannot conceal

forgive me lover
for I have sinned
I felt the blade upon my skin
simply guilty of bad intent
but I haven't marked my skin again



Forgive Me lover... (part 2)
 
forgive her lover for she has sinned
the blade said with a hellish grin
blah
blah
blah...
with the promises and shit

once again she is in my sights
the seed is planted and she too weak to fight
what I see is just a matter of time...
before she breaks and her flesh is mine

upon her skin I will make my mark
when she's all alone in the dark...
my temptation here is far too strong...
and she hasn't played with me for so long...

once again it is time for me...
to help her bleed out her misery...
the blade said with a terrible smirk...
just look a this miserable jerk
she wants to do it the intent is there
to deny herself would be unfair
I am one of the things that she knows for sure
that can offer relief without a cure
she's thought about me the way she has
the time we've shared and all the jazz
within her head the thoughts are strong
its in her heart that she thinks its wrong
she is so fucking soft
said the blade
and so scared that you'll feel betrayed
she knows exactly what she needs to do
and eventually she WILL follow through
as I said her intent is there
she has already ignited this affair
might as well come out to play
come on, just say okay!
the blade smiled an evil grin
and whispered in my ear again
this is not the end and you see
you haven't heard the last from me...

Shreds

I'll rip and tear myself to shreds
claw my skin and slash my flesh
scratch my eyes and make them bleed
blind myself so I cant see


cast my brain in a chemical haze
and walk around in a fucking daze
murder my thoughts as they come to me
abortion through labomtomy


I'll vomit out this jagged pill
and hope it tears my throat to hell
make me choke on my own blood
because I've fucking had enough


for once I'll rip out my own heart
and slice that motherfucker apart
watch it die within my hand
just because I fucking can


all of this shit that I always feel
and all the wounds the never heal
all because I feel too much
and I really think I've had enough


I've had enough of all this pain
I carry around everyday
at some point it has to stop
before I become completely lost


so with my claws I'll shred my skin
I'll rip and tear my flesh again
with a scratch I blind my eyes
and make them bleed instead of cry


chemicals laced into my brain
will surely create a foggy haze
kill any thoughts that come to me
a self enduced labotomy


as for the pill thats in my throat
the one thats always made me choke
I will try to spit it out
and taste the blood within my mouth


into my heart I'll grind some salt
so the pain can be MY own fault
I've had enough of all this shit
the pain and hurt, im through with it


I dont want to feel it anymore
I want to be who I was before
even if that means I have to hide
within myself to survive


I'll push it back and mask my face
and cover up all my pain
ill dry my tears and blank my mind
and stop looking for what im trying to find


maybe everyone can be content
if no one will have to deal with it
the world can go about their lives
and I will be just fine!