Make me laugh

standing ovation
a quiet night so silent
quickly turned rather violent
when john pushed his manhood
where a man never should...........without permission

this led me to a conclusion
that a man's protrusion
should never create fusion
with a woman's rear communion

now john and jane just lay
in bed situation quite gay
jane didn't come to play
as john fantasized each day

he wished his cock in her rectum
but knew she would reject him
as she did tonight
put up quite a fight

so what a man to do
who just wants to anal you
to feel your deep inside
well....better run and hide

john asked and asked and begged
until she tied him to bed
strapped on a black one
and begun

his legs open wide
with nowhere to hide
she rammed her black penis
oh women what genius

he cried and he begged
to the bed he was pegged
his ass plunged by her
so let us confer

this night he'll remember
from january to december
as he will never ask again
to give his wife this pain

Make  a   smile  like   a  cartoon
Explode  and    blow  up  like  a   ballooon
Beg   and   cry   all  day   like  a   barboon
Just  to  speak  romantic   words,I  love  u.

I    really   love  u
But  what  about   x    and   z   which  had   no  clue
Now  u  tell  me  the  wedding  was   colurful
Was   it  red brown   or   grayful.


Now   don’t   tell  me  that your   aunt  is   gay
Since  when   did   gay   turn  into    wo  men
I  heard   your    uncle   hates   HIV
But  I  cant  get  it  when  his  toes   he   wears  a   CD.

U  call  that   girl   a  bitch
Tell   me   who   barks    when  the   pussy screams
Does  it  make   sense  I  don’t  know  but  I  had  to  do  this   shit
For    somebody  to  wet  on  his   sheets.

U  think   this  is    a  poem
These  are   just   words  from  a    fucker  on  the   moment
Don’t  u  see   im   rotten
Doing    anything   to  win   the  trophy   by  GIGI   POET.

Bless Their Hearts

She's proud to be a breasted American,
but horizontally accessible some folks say.
A light haired detour
off the information superhighway.
Slightly on the verbally repetitive side
for a low cost provider,
but for a previously-enjoyed companion;
they don't come much finer.

His liquid grain storage facility
has enjoyed many a festive occasion.
His only drawback, the dance floor,
where he’s overtly Caucasian.
He travels in ever widening circles,
wearing his trusty John Deere cap
assuring you with toothless abandon
he don’t need no stinking map.

They’re Appalachian-Americans
Who’ve never been stressed
They’re Appalachian-Americans
Whose clothes ain't never been pressed
They’re Appalachian-Americans
Who don’t care ‘bout no tests
They’re Appalachian-Americans
Whose hearts are surely blessed

The Shrew

sweet as bitter grass
grimaces for smiles
her vivacious attitude
holds not the standard wiles

though true fair of face
in form none can surpass
the lucky man who has her
claims her balls are brass

were her effervescent charm
fueled by propane gas
the flame within her eyes
would combust inside the lass

if it wasn't for her watchful gaze
within my looking glass
I'd hike my boot and lodge it
squarely in her ass!

"Smile"

Hear the beating of a drum
hear your mother saying "Girl get yo ass back in this house"
yet u keep on playin

simple games that you played as a child
yet all in the same they make you smile

so smile as long as you can
and don't let your dog eat the damn underpants

[for simple thing that make you laugh always look past to the past]

Interrogatories & Intrigue

Man: So, how was it?
Woman: How was what?
Man: You know. The sex?
Woman: It was terrible.  
 
Man: You want to talk about it?
Woman: I don’t want to talk about it.
 
Man: You’re really not going to talk about it?
Woman: No.
 
Man: Okay. I won’t talk about it either.
Woman: Talk about what?
Man: You know. The sex.
Woman: Between my husband and I? Or, between you and your wife?
 
Man: What’s the difference?
Woman: Well, did you fuck her tonight?
Man: No! Wait, I thought we were talking about you?
Woman: Not anymore we’re not. So, did you fuck her?
Man: I don’t want to talk about it.

Lol some good stuff

Taking My Relationship with Food onto a Television Talkshow.


What do I want . . . . . . . . ?    
   
   
how about    
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
A FREAKING GRILLED CHEESE!    
   
   
   
   
You heard me!    
I want it with a side of cheesecake    
and a chocolate malt.    
I want a spicy tuna roll, moo-goo-gai-pan,    
and a cafe latte in GRANDE not tall?    
   
I'm craving Hawaiian pizza and seven layer dip.    
I want fettuccine alfredo,    
and a double bacon cheeseburger passing over my lip.    
   
I could go on, but I think you get the point,    
I L-L-O-O-V-V-E-E, love Food.    
I love to eat and savor it.    
Not picky, I try new things.    
In fact, I experiment quite a lot.    
I mix, whisk, slice, and dice.    
And when I feel a little crazy,    
I add,  a little, Spice. What?!    
   
Food is a big part of me.    
We have been friends since I was a kid.    
And it grew into something I never expected.    
"How long have we been in a committed relationship?'    
Oh, I suppose since 2008.    
That is when I started wearing    
this size I'm dress in.    
   
Yea, Food's a big part of me.    
He's the one residing in all this    
space; in my thighs and waist you see.    
Yup, that is all Food's.    
   
You know, sometimes,    
when he is sitting on the plate, he'll whisper to me,    
"Oh girl, we are gonna to stay    
together forever, you know I taste great."    
And he wasn't lying, cause like I said,    
I have been wearing size 13 jeans since 2008.    
   
He's always there when I need him.    
He loves parties, though he doesn't dance.    
He's totally game for the holiday family ambush,    
as long as you prep him in advance.    
   
Does our relationship have any issues?    
Maybe, sometimes.    
Like, sure he is there when I need him,    
but his solutions to problems are,    
"just take a couple more bites."    
   
A weight issue? Maybe.    
I am a little overweight,    
but I kind of like my curves.    
And Food has been there to help make all the    
peaks, dips, and swerves.    
   
But you know, I want to grow as a person, not in waist.    
I want to move through time and space.    
And sometimes, when I need him to listen,    
he is all up in my face.    
I want to experience what the world has to offer,    
besides different tastes.    
   
I am sorry Food, but honestly,    
my love has grown into hate.    
I despise what I love, because the depth    
of my love lately, could be measured by the    
volume capacity of the plate    
off of which I just ate.    
   
I am tired of using you to replace what I really want,    
   
emotion,    
affection,    
   
love.    
 

evolution of man

ape to pig

i  heard   your  chicken  died  of HIV
but   how   can   your  dog   be  still   a  virgin
im  sorry   your  cow   was  rapped  by  a  goat
but  what  i heard  was  that  the  pussy  was  soft.

if  cows  updated  their  status  on  Facebook
"how  can  a  human   caress   my  breasts  without  fucking  me  cool"
chicken   would  say  "how  can  i have  pregnancy  many  times
i   wish i  was    a  person  im  tired  of  this   life.

lets   imagine   fish    could   speak  and  talk
"humans  don't  know   how  to  eat  us  raw"
well  if   that  was  not  a  joke
if  male  ha   pussies   how   would   chicks   floss.

they   would   say  i  fucked   that  guys  pussy
and  the  boys   would  say  that   chics   dick  is  like  sushi
she   blowed  me   off   and tasted  my  finely  good  meat
hey   im  out  of  rhymes  Gg  i  guess  i  wish  ua   good   sleep

Haha some funny stuff...

silly situation

when i was small i use to play
with a soccer ball every day
but let me tell you something true
that will make your urine run ocean blue

i was kicking ball inside the street
saw my friend and decided to greet
he laughed and was happy, time to play
but something happened i'll remember every day

as i waived i kicked the ball
it flew high up and over the wall
it landed on my neighbours grass
his dogs i had to pass

i climbed on up on the wall
got a fright and then came the fall
to top it all!!!

my ass landed on a cactus bush
about fifty thorns inside my tush
the dogs could hear my screams
time stood still it seems

i jumped on up as i cried
it felt like i had died
the dogs were storming down on me
not one,not two, but three!

the cactus still hanging from my rear
i flopped over the wall and again fell on my rear
the blood the pain the tears
this i'll remember for years!!

A part time lova' ..

Your just a part time lova'... Steady waitin in line behind anotha'..
Oh no not tonight...  it's his turn! .. Once again your feelin burned!
Maybe tomorrow though, i'll let you know...
If he's not around .. Then it's a go...
Just what is it that has you this way?...Slips right by when I promice today!
Oh wait .. Is that the phone?.. Please believe that i'm home..
Antiously waiting for the next time around...
Cause i'm addicted to how you put it down!!
But as you lay down alone again tonight...
Just pray that tomorrow i'll cum through and make it right..

.:Charade:.


Every Tom, Dick and Harry
She even played it up for Bashful Barry
Played at Ex-Stacy well before she came
She played all them guys; it’s part of her fame
Mood swings. Aromatic whiffs of feminine things
All attributed to her copycat style
Her tricks would trick tricks into hanging for a while
Thinking it’s their choice
Like planning a victory lap in a Rolls Royce
But deep down its really just a Chevy
Now isn’t that heavy? No, not really
Not really at all, it’s more like Dark-Light

The fun was just in thinking
Going to get the real really real
really All Night

That was a charade too
Sorry, son thought you knew
False hood looked good
But Ms. Thing ain’t true

See she used to hang tough with all those guys
Had them gender lies that generalized
Went & got realized by Tom, Dick and Harry
Them now recalling when she was Gary
But that masculine thing just didn’t take root
See, her thing, they had to refute
That fakery in detail; not enough to enchant
Her poses looked good; but
Girlfriend really can’t.

Everyone did great. It was good to see a different side to some of you's.. With that said, I'm a little strange and the one that really got me was llamalover7 "the only one to love" the ending actually made me laugh. So you win
Second would be jiato.. He got me with the Gigi lol.. But thanks everyone it was fun. My humor poem is called grandpa if anyone cares lol thanks again