make me sad

This Is My Story

Whoever knew I would mature so fast
Learned how to carry myself with class
A diamond in the rough shining through my past
Been hurt so many times but the pain didn't last
I'm numb to it all, immune to my flaws
I'm ready to be free and breakdown these walls
No longer a scared and misguided little boy
Now a brave soul who has found his joy
People have purposely hurted me before
Scarred in many battles but I survived the war
I used to teach myself so many ways to get high
Now I taught myself how to tie a tie
I used to sleep with strangers just to get by
Looking at my life and wishing I could die
I used to think life was hopeless why try?
No one was there to wipe the tears from my eyes
I was so unaware I didn't know my own strength
I've jumped through many hoops and went through great lengths
To get to this point in my life you see
This is my story and the author is me

It's a Joke

Dear unknown
you broke my heart again
and hear i thought we were friends
that's all i ever am

I'm a freak
who has too much to feel
all i do is steal
and they aren't even real

I'm looking for comfort in a meal
of green veggies and raisin bread
oh how i wish i were dead
it's so overrated

"Late for church"

   dad why do you have to leave
it's something i've always dreamed of
   mom why are you so sad
there is nothing i could think of
  brother why is your father gone
because father was never happy
  hello there, do you understand?
are you glad you're alive and well?  

A hero never more


There’s a moment to every story

When the prince doesn’t come to save the damsel
The dragon can’t be defeated

And the threads of lies the witch wove
Grow stronger instead of breaking

When chivalry has long since past
And the mourners leave only dying flowers
At a grave that was never there at all

Because no one cared enough
To stop and drag its lowly carcass from the road side
Before the ravens came a pecking

Pecking, pecking
All the while calling in their harsh laughing voices
Never more

Like feathered boogey men to steal away what was never ours
Except in dreams and fairytales

While sprawling trails of ink on paper attempt to record
Every step in a hero’s journey
Without ever stopping him in warning

Of the ravens all the while waiting
With cries of never more

god abandonded me in my time of need
i can never trust again

i find a friend
the bestest kind
i tell her all my thoughts
i share with her all my secrets
ive given her my trust
she moves away
leaving me behind
whatever happened to forever?
i will never trust again

i give them my trust
then i have to ask
whatever happened to forever?
ill never trust again
this happened 12 more times
till i got in 6th grade

same school for 7 long years now
who would ever want to be my friend?
everyone says im cursed
that they dont want to move away
but mean girls just got to be mean
so they kick me
spit on me
im filled with dread
every morning i wake
then comes along someone who doesnt care
she says she'll be my friend
so touched and moved tears come to my eyes
this is the very bestest kind
soon its christmas break
i am so smiley so diffrent from before
break is over
january has come
its the new year
we were goingto welcome it with a hug
but she didnt come
days past she hadnt come
the bulling started up again
then the teacher came up to the front
on the second week of january
she made an anoucment
my friend was gone
she didnt move
she died
icould hear the people around me
"poor her"
"who was her friend again"
"wait wasnt it her?"
the stares were diffrent
cold
this was terrible
their words were
i dont want to die
they shoved me away
i wish i had died
everyone loved her
but everyone hated me
i met a girl
someone i detest
but she was the last that ever seem to care
at first she doted
but then called me names
then she hugged
then called me bitch
i did nothing
she hardly ever talked to me
but when she did it always came with a hard slap
but she talked to me
so i was fine
butshe ignored me for to long
so i ignored her
then theres this other girl
who seemed to care
but that ended with an
"I HATE YOU,
I NEVER LIKED YOU
I JUST FELT SORRY FOR YOU.
YOUR A REAL DOWNER YOU KNOW THAT!!"
and just like that my world was shattered
i will never trust again

the bulling only got worse
when ever some one shoved me i'd kick them in the shins
now they'll leave me alone i thought
but was i ever more wrong
girls talked about me
such rude things they said
and some spoke loudly or softly right in front of me
the guys wanted a piece of me
but i beat them every time
i will never trust again

finally 7th grade
new people
i should be fine
making friends should me easy
4th day of school
crossing the road
helping a cat along
when boom!
i wake up 3 months later
i was hit by a truck
now how do i go back?
i will never trust again

i go back
everyones in clicks
no im doomed!!
a girl shows me around
id completey forgotten everything
she says we should be friends
i say okay
i think her name was abbie
i tell her of me curse
she says dont worry
i just moved in
we're not moving any time soon
a week goes by
when she comes up behind me
she says she moving
that she felt horrible
i will never trust again

ive lined myself with some really crappy friends
no not friends
if i say that they'll move away
i never learn
but this time i promise
i will never turst again

i cried

fake_reality said:i cried
you did?
on whose?
if mine,
thank you

I am Weak
I am hopeless
and worthless too
nobody cares
they never do
nobody will
love you
when everyone
you know
dies so easily
they start
to blame you
like somehow
its your fault
it wasnt my fault
he left me
alive
trust me
after seeing that
i want to die
why was i
left alone
why did he
take everything
away from me
why did he
do such
a thing
with a razor
or a knife
i really wish
i could just die
it hurts more
when you lose
someone you love
but even worse
when they
were all you ever
had to begin with
i have no one
and no one
has me
i am alone
in a big, big world
with no one
to care for me
with no one
to lie for me
with no one
at all
are you sad?
have i made you cry?
i wish i could
but i cant
not after
being treated
in such ways

the ability
to cry
i lost that
so long ago
to put up
with everything
i wonder why
he left me
alive

Come here Lil' Girl..


Come here little girl
I welcome you
To this dark
and TwisteD world...
 
As I watched you play
in your front yard
It  did something to me
It got my dick hard.
 
You ever seen a dick before
Your daddy never showed you
What men do to whores?
 
Does this mean
that I will be your first?
To penetrate you
Feel your insides burst!
 
Oooooooohhhh.
Shut the fuck up!
Stop all that screamin
and bleedin.
It's just me
Your neighbor
Not some demon!
 
Fuck yeah!
I'm fixin to cum.
Do you feel it to baby?
Or are you
finally numb?
"Shit" here it goes
It's right there!
You want it
in your mouth
or in your hair?

Fuck it's too late!
I came inside you,
Now get up
and clean up


PUT ALL OF THIS BEHIND YOU!

he took
everything from me
he took it all
without a moment
of pause
he is cold
his eyes made me freeze
he didnt regret
chopping them down
right in front of me
he took it all
now hes coming
back for me
hes cold
but im now colder

Rain rain go away
You make the pain stay anyway
I cut, i bleed, i heal, again
Another round, another go
My heart flies out the window
You came back,
           And left me in pieces. Shattered. Splattered. Cut. Beaten. Bleeding. Eaten.  
What do you have to say that. You ripped me to shreds and left me to be picked up by strangers. Dont you care about me?
Well i thought you did. Why i didnt see? You were just fucking with me.  
I thought i loved you. I thought you loved me. I would be fine
If you just left me here to wallow in my pain, my despair.
But you added salt to my wounds and smothered them with burning embers.
You left me for her. Her the bitch, the theif. You left me
For her.
And
Thats
What
Hurts
The
Most.

My love is dead
I cried till the world drowned from my salty tears.
I bled till their was no more blood to be shed.
Then god saw me crying upon this rock and asked me
"do you remember his eyes?"
Of course i had replied they were as blue as the deep with a twinkle in them
He spoke to me in his mighty voice "were they as blue as the sky tonight? Was the twinkle in his eyes like the twinkle in the stars above?".
How would you describe the softness of his touch?"
soft and cool and always gentle
"then his touch was not unlike the breeze ruffling through your hair and drying your tears."
I suppose i would feel better if i could hear his voice. Always so beautiful even when he slept his breath gave me joy.
" listen to the waves crashing against the shore, and the birds singing their song"
I nod slowly, but sadly my dear god. It is not enough. I need to be with him.
Two steps forward and im falling towards death.

My sorrow

Originates from  that

Feeling of love

That i get

when im with you

And that emptiness

i get

When i know ive been

Forgotten.

i die a little inside

When you know that im here

And you dont talk to me

I die a little inside

When you leave without saying goodbye.

I die a bit more

When i see your hands clasped with hers.

I die completely

When i realize you dont want me.