Why Keep Living?

Sunshine is not the word,
You awaken me
My life is nothing without you
The reason that I breath

My morning melody
Take my knives away
I still have my scars though
But you make it ok

Oh,
Best friend of mine
Singing songs of misery
You are mine completely
You don't care if I'm beastly

I heard you love me just the way I am
No matter how many times I sin
Told me the mirror image I see is a lie
You see my beauty within

Oh,
Best friend of mine
Please don't be blue
I won't cut again
I promise you this is true

You say my smile is sunshine
You make the darkness go away
Everyone says I'm going to Hell,
But you say I'll be in heaven someday

-All for Jen, even though I take knives from her too <3

I keep swimming

'Cause I'm scared of drowning,

I keep dancing

'Cause I'm scared to be still.

I keep flying

'Cause I'm scared of falling,

I keep seeing

'Cause I'm scared of the dark.

I keep breathing

'Cause I'm scared of suffocation,

I keep living

'Cause I'm scared to die.

My Glorious Angels and Soul

A gift bestowed unto me
Upon my birth
With the essence of life
That I believed was the
Only time I was worthy of such a gift
Before life through pain, abuse and shame
Withered away the gratitude and delight
Felt within and replaced it with anger
And feelings of desertion and betrayal
Too young to know better
Inexperienced of a more wondrous world
I mocked with temper and
Challenged you with heated lexis to
Take it back and
Release me from the pain
Of burden and disdain
Your infinite wisdom knows no bounds
Instead bestowing enlightenment and
I turned the corner
With journeys and angels
That opened my narrowed sight
Happiness a stranger to me
Came and filled this hole
It flourished and with it appreciation
Once again for the glorious gift and
The essence of my life given and
The knowledge that I am worthy once again
To have this infinite soul
That I cherish and
Angels to keep me strong and happy

My legs are strong
The path I took
Demanded strength, if not wisdom

One divorce, two children
Self-made, self-assured
self-confident woman
You see it in my carriage
In my demeanor
hear it in my language

but you don't know..

I would have ended it
years and years ago
if it hadn't been
for fear of pain
fear of death,

just plain
cowardice.

I stare at this pen within my palm

I think of what to write but what is there?

Nothing but the sorrow that fills me within.

When I wrote that night on my arm pain ceased to exist.

As I kept going, something broke me.

I thought of her.

The smile and wings she kept me alive long enough to remember.

That these hands weren't worth to destroy but to write.

Write story's only Souls would know and escape a World we know as Reality.

Everyone has a story they wish to say that one day someday it will be more than a book.

Thank you!!! :)