Today I was surrounded by love and friendship. Though somehow I felt nearly invisible. Maybe a shadow or silhouette perhaps even a ghost. My voice fell upon 18 ears and was never heard. I laughed at my own jokes even though it was spoken loudly, no attention was paid too. I find relief most of the time not being the popular one or even unknown at times. It’s less drama to deal with. Less heartache and pain. However when that heartache and pain become too much I rely on them to just listen. Not to cure my problems, no offerings, no gifts. Just an ear to listen when I need to be heard. In those...
in and out of rhyme the melody, the rhythm they are but wafts of smoke through thin air-off into space
my mind and soul
some days, it's ebb and flow is so clear to me thoughts that seem to be just where they ought to be the somewhat clandestine, intellectual Id of me....that doesn't seem to stay for very long-like a languished song
out of key
and I turn to look for you but you can not see or find me truth.....”there is no true beauty in your aberration” ...
I am human with emotions and feelings Frail, imperfect, flawed and vulnerable I am a pendulum swaying constantly from one emotional state to another But most of the time I am calm like a still water
I have a curious mind that led me to discover things on my own As a child I grew up protected and loved Never had a wide circle of friends The most number of friends I had was two And even then I experienced being misunderstood but that did not stop me from reaching out.
Passing words and backwards glances Winning shots on second chances Meaningful words that just don't matter Going nowhere a whole lot faster The darkest hour never comes in the night Battling yourself you'll always lose that fight Fragmented thoughts just swirl around Screaming so loud without making a sound Run away run away Forget it all and survive another day
I am someone. I am a human being Who has feelings and fears. Although, sometimes I fear just too much And feel too little. Though, I just fear to feel, To let my emotions loose and free. I'm afraid to let anyone in. I'm afraid to let anyone know me.
I am someone who suffers from dark thoughts and Almost never-ending sadness. I do have some happy days, But most days are gray or completely black. I do have people who love me and care about me. I do I do. But, I'm unsure why they do. Why would someone...
How do we define the self? Think of it as a sunset. The sunset has a definition. Most words do. ‘sunset’ has three definitions. We’ll be discussing the third one. “The time in the evening at which the sun begins to fall below the horizon.” There is a past, present and future within this sentence. What do you think of when you think of the sunset?
That! is the concept of the self.
There are millions of sunsets Every day For millions of years. There is a sunset at noon at one locale and it is three in the morning another...
Shut up Shut up JUST FUCKING SHUT UP My brain screams as the catty remark slithers out of my mouth I daydream of cutting out my own tongue Where can I learn the art of silence??? Gods fucking forbid I let a cutting remark stay in my mind... My immediate response is to beg for forgiveness It's like my mouth isn't my own Nothing but a gaping wound of infectious poison Thick, gross bold words said in capitalization Never getting it under control Never knowing how to stop it from coming out
Milestones have come and gone. I’ve survived when others haven’t. Guilt feels as heavy as the coffin for which I was meant. I pine for the me that once was. Gone; with no hope for she that once walked with a light tread.
Wretched words of hope and prayer- oh! I wish you knew how stupid and empty it all sounded! Like an echo through an underpass. Hollow and reverberating.
With bitterness and disdain I tolerated well wishes. With time this will get better- the most vitriolic expression!
its been 10 years and i still dont know how to sleep
There has been a constant etching away at what little remains of me I loss sleep and i cant eat Ever tick of a second feels like i am decomposing I search frantically for something to hold on to A friend, a hobby, an event Something i can reach and even if my fingers only gently graze its surface i have something tangible to say i have Something to quietly stitch my lacerations together while i pitifully trudge forward But lately I reach for string and gasp at shadows that whisk away between my fingers Rope burn on aching hands Every minor...