I feel like Iím drowning In a world so hopeless Like my mind is just plunging deep into the abyss I feel my lungs fill with water Making breathing impossible As my mind spirals farther into the darkness My body is fighting But my mind has already given up Accepting the fact that I canít reach the surface Knowing Iím going to drown Right here Alone With nothing but my thoughts
I think of you like a brother Letís just be friends You deserve better I would be poison for you Nice guys finish last Iím comfortable with how things are Life is complicated right now I just donít see you that way
I get that Iím good Just not bad enough I deserve someone good Someone thatís not you You try to be nice Well, usually anyway But after 30 years of rejection Iíve had enough. Iím away.
Trying to summon the words to describe my ghosts and demons... blank. Everything goes dark, and only echoes of outlandish tongues ring trough my mind. And I let it be. I breathe. And I feel a friend in this emptiness, embracing me. I long to answer to this touch, but it is all just fantasy. Only me and the silence beneath my five senses. Nothingness animates.
Moon-shine greets me brightly with full, luscious lips embracing my own in the deepest of shared kisses; she slips sweetly across my tongue like honey whiskey tipped into coffee on crisp mornings, her liquid heat filling my cold belly, coaxing my surrender to her ministrations as she smooths my furrowed brow, bidding me goodnight on hushed whispers lulling me to sleep before the sun rises and puts us both to bed
I wish I could tell everyone I meet everything that makes me special how I wish I could convey my deepest thoughts show how smart I think I am don't want any secrets want to put all my cards down show them off to everybody who doubted me don't want to gloat just want to show I am more than appearance
guess I can't find the right words to say like a rat trapped in ah cage I scream and claw at my surroundings I'm the loud American
oh how I have loved and how I have lost ashamed of the...
ordering fancy cappuccino just to treat my ears to the gurgle-hiss explosion of frothing milk; the first sip of steamy bliss carrying itself into my throat, dragging me backwards, into your waiting arms - the last place I felt safe
(memory) the first kiss
anticipation, an exquisitely effective form of torture; your eyes searching, asking every question Iím eager to answer; the taste of you - blooming...
She wasn't like any other person, She saw everyone's soul as a color, † She was jealous of them, † So she stole a little piece from everyone she loved, For them to love her back. But they didn't. And she wondered why? Little did she know, † That her soul isn't becoming a rainbow like she thought it would be, It was becoming that chaotic color, Just like her real soul. And that's what made her special.
I don't wish to recall Nor pine to remember Remove the recant I won't hold those words Even at arms length. Wretched reminisce, are Rancid restarts Living for a short-term life Or is it a long-form lie? No steps to retrace I've forgotten those walks Relish the relief Of a life untold, Unspoken, unthought Un-anaylse the roads Unburdened isn't unhappy. Or am I incomplete Cowardly and meek To seek to be blind † † † † † † † † † † † Eyes closed are the weak.
Lost in the black mist. Is there a path I missed? I know that I'll find my way. Out of darkness into day. This time, I won't give in. No matter what may spin. Even if I fumble about. I'll push myself until I'm out. I'm not who I used to be. Now I can plainly see. It's different than before. I'm not powerless anymore.