I know you are bored with hearing about the feelings that flow through my heart. They always end up on my sleeve anyway. Exposed and replaced by forgetfulness, spent in the moment then passed by again.
Seldom does my soul breathe deeply enough to know-knowing how to understand life. Knowing when to relax to reach my other sleeve-to touch the emotions of my thoughts and feel the need.
I will have to accept that death will eventually swallow me up. I fear it, yet, will face it just the same. I'll sneak out the back door and leave it open for you. Come with me, we'll...
This is painful stuff, for me to post. I need to get this out of my "In Process Notebook" and into the "Finished Notebook." For me part of ptsd is avoiding anything about the trauma. I don't even want to call him my father, but that is who this is about. There are not graphic details of trauma in this writing, but there is some graphic language. I would avoid it if words can trigger you. Please feel free to skip this one and move on to something else.
The other day, I stood in the kitchen, and had velveeta on...
Sometimes at night, when i think that the world herself has gone still and silent, I allow myself to cry and mourn for the little girl who is trapped on the inside of the corridors between my lungs. I cry for all the pain she has endured, and I cry for the childhood that was short lived.
There is a pain so great inside of me somewhere that she avoids it at all costs, In fear of being enveloped into that deep dark space on the inside of my soul. I wish that I could hold her in both of my arms and give her the love she has always been searching for. ...
Each day I waited for Santa dressed as a Railway Expressman hoping that he would deliver a little sister and then mama came down with the bug only to wait for another tear as dad dressed as a Railway Expressman
tween first breath and last brambles stretch on winding paths pricking impure skin and heart But of my thorns I made a crown and fiery coals cleansed my tongue Snares can ne’er beset my soul All hardships can be overcome