Fictional Prose Seeking Honest Critique
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
Short stories and chapters from books and novels
Honest critique has been requested for these poems. Want to learn the art of critique? Join our Honestly Crafted Critique group.
Liziantus-Marantus
Poem Published
3rd Nov 2024 10:47am
3rd Nov 2024 10:47am
Pandora's Box
They say Pandora's box is full of woe.
Ignoring her one big fall.
They say it can curse and kill.
No matter what you feel when you open it.
They say it contains dark magic.
Not something that could be described as tragic.
As the box slowly opens,you begin to see.
Pandora is actually as sweet and kind as can be.
But the items,thoughts in the box.
Sometimes,she locks it away so people don't run away.
But even if her box contains dark thoughts.
She is a person like us all.
Even if her contains ate tragic. ...
Ignoring her one big fall.
They say it can curse and kill.
No matter what you feel when you open it.
They say it contains dark magic.
Not something that could be described as tragic.
As the box slowly opens,you begin to see.
Pandora is actually as sweet and kind as can be.
But the items,thoughts in the box.
Sometimes,she locks it away so people don't run away.
But even if her box contains dark thoughts.
She is a person like us all.
Even if her contains ate tragic. ...
#happiness
#hope
#redemption #sadness
#redemption #sadness
139 reads
0 Comments
Lowko
Jimi Tatz
Jimi Tatz
Poem Published
1st Nov 2024 2:54pm
1st Nov 2024 2:54pm
Thee Underclass
It was thee 18th century, and I was just a mere vagabondus.
I couldn't hold down a job, I think one week was my longest!
With a peaky blinders cap and my waistcoat on tight,
I would wander thee streets at night, drunk, and get into fights.
It was thee old days of Landan, full of buskers and harlots.
Staggering past thee beggers, on thee way to thee market.
I met a Dorris called Charlotte, going past on her horse and cart,
She offered me a lift and asked where I'd like to depart?!
She was talking all jargon about nobility,...
I couldn't hold down a job, I think one week was my longest!
With a peaky blinders cap and my waistcoat on tight,
I would wander thee streets at night, drunk, and get into fights.
It was thee old days of Landan, full of buskers and harlots.
Staggering past thee beggers, on thee way to thee market.
I met a Dorris called Charlotte, going past on her horse and cart,
She offered me a lift and asked where I'd like to depart?!
She was talking all jargon about nobility,...
#friendship
#heroic
#humankind #masculinity
#humankind #masculinity
113 reads
2 Comments
Liziantus-Marantus
Poem Published
1st Nov 2024 10:59am
1st Nov 2024 10:59am
Exploring Imagination
When you enter the world of imagination.
You arrive at a whole another nation.
This land is empty of woe.
And makes you feel whole.
As it puts on a magical show.
You will meet characters,kind and sweet.
Fictional or real,you could meet.
In the land of imagination we sing along.
To the song of acceptance and pumpkin song.
You will meet new friends on the way.
When you walk on the colorful pathway.
Whether characters from books or games.
And no matter who it is or who blames.
In this land we don't judge. ...
You arrive at a whole another nation.
This land is empty of woe.
And makes you feel whole.
As it puts on a magical show.
You will meet characters,kind and sweet.
Fictional or real,you could meet.
In the land of imagination we sing along.
To the song of acceptance and pumpkin song.
You will meet new friends on the way.
When you walk on the colorful pathway.
Whether characters from books or games.
And no matter who it is or who blames.
In this land we don't judge. ...
#happiness
#hope
#inspirational #uplifting
#inspirational #uplifting
103 reads
0 Comments
EleazarSwan
Poem Published
1st Nov 2024 00:25am
1st Nov 2024 00:25am
Villanelle 5 [a Feast & Proposal]
V: come now, my darling, surely we grow weary of this language that besets the mind with all kinds of thoughts
Me: i never tire of Truth, to my own peril
V: and why should you perish? surely the body must be refreshed from time to time, as the mind needs be
Me: to be sure, yet I honor my mind far greater than my body
V: to what purpose? for as the mind is strengthened by Truth, so the body is strengthened by food
Me: in this you err, thou vile witch; for as the mind is brought into subjection by the investigation of Truth, so the body is brought into subjection by the...
Me: i never tire of Truth, to my own peril
V: and why should you perish? surely the body must be refreshed from time to time, as the mind needs be
Me: to be sure, yet I honor my mind far greater than my body
V: to what purpose? for as the mind is strengthened by Truth, so the body is strengthened by food
Me: in this you err, thou vile witch; for as the mind is brought into subjection by the investigation of Truth, so the body is brought into subjection by the...
#villanelle
66 reads
0 Comments
Liziantus-Marantus
Poem Published
26th Oct 2024 10:48am
26th Oct 2024 10:48am
Colors Of Roses
I think each rose is unique.
And if you just take a peek,you'll see what you need.
Like red rose petals,spread at the wedding altar.
Red roses represent love.
You give them to someone you love hard.
Red roses represent passion and desire.
And the light,ember fire in your heart.
Red roses are beautiful and never foul
I could wear it in my hair.
They are georgeous and prevent a bad affair.
And if only one day I could be one.
I would be a red rose,number one.
People would look at me in awe.
And I will never...
And if you just take a peek,you'll see what you need.
Like red rose petals,spread at the wedding altar.
Red roses represent love.
You give them to someone you love hard.
Red roses represent passion and desire.
And the light,ember fire in your heart.
Red roses are beautiful and never foul
I could wear it in my hair.
They are georgeous and prevent a bad affair.
And if only one day I could be one.
I would be a red rose,number one.
People would look at me in awe.
And I will never...
#flowers
#happiness
#nature
#rose
#uplifting
140 reads
0 Comments
Casted_Runes
Mr Karswell
Mr Karswell
Poem Published
25th Oct 2024 7:35pm
25th Oct 2024 7:35pm
Plantation
Next on the docket is an odd little item from the early '90s that should have gone straight-to-video and was likely made with the intention of using it to fill NEW RELEASE shelves, which in those days were the equivalent of streaming services filling themselves with junk so as to have some kind of consumer product available. Nothing really changes, except on a surface level.
Using the post-Civil War US South as a theme but made by a British studio on backlots off the motorway, pop culture legend has it that Christopher Lee was going to appear as a favour to someone or other until...
Using the post-Civil War US South as a theme but made by a British studio on backlots off the motorway, pop culture legend has it that Christopher Lee was going to appear as a favour to someone or other until...
#ShortStory
103 reads
1 Comment
fianaturie8
Fia Naturie
Fia Naturie
Poem Published
25th Oct 2024 5:14pm
25th Oct 2024 5:14pm
First and Last Kiss (Ending)
We both went to the small kitchenette and found two Dixie cups. I followed him to his office and watched as he pulled a small bottle of Gin and tonic out of his small refrigerators under his desk.
After pouring us both a cup we did the customary tapping and took a drink. Closing my eyes and just enjoying the floral scent most gins have as it went down.
“It’s good right?” He asked as I opened my eyes to see him looking at his own cup in thought.
“Have a seat. We should not stand around after enjoying this gem.”
I smiled and went to the recliner in...
After pouring us both a cup we did the customary tapping and took a drink. Closing my eyes and just enjoying the floral scent most gins have as it went down.
“It’s good right?” He asked as I opened my eyes to see him looking at his own cup in thought.
“Have a seat. We should not stand around after enjoying this gem.”
I smiled and went to the recliner in...
#honesty
#loneliness
#sadness
255 reads
20 Comments
fianaturie8
Fia Naturie
Fia Naturie
Poem Published
25th Oct 2024 3:41pm
25th Oct 2024 3:41pm
First and Last Kiss
I wasn’t making any progress on my work and the deadline is in a week. I decided that I need a more structured environment. Being home my mind tends to wander to the wrong things. Focus has to me my main priority of the day.
Looking at the phone flashing showing a name that I do not want to talk to right now. If I am being honest at least to myself. It is him that is destroying my concentration. I saved my work, closed my laptop and grabbed my keys.
I had a thought to leave my phone but I knew that would not be wise. Other people like my publicist would need to...
Looking at the phone flashing showing a name that I do not want to talk to right now. If I am being honest at least to myself. It is him that is destroying my concentration. I saved my work, closed my laptop and grabbed my keys.
I had a thought to leave my phone but I knew that would not be wise. Other people like my publicist would need to...
#emotions
#gratitude
#loneliness
249 reads
14 Comments
fianaturie8
Fia Naturie
Fia Naturie
Poem Published
21st Oct 2024 8:26pm
21st Oct 2024 8:26pm
The Silver Fox and the Huntress ( Ending)
As the fox follows the huntress, there are feelings. Natural instincts, to run and to never see this place again. But there is some kind of mystical force. A power he had never known that compels him to follow.
He entered a room he had never seen before. A room where you could not see the walls. They were covered and shared fabrics in colors of burnt amber and Tuscany brick. He paused at the door, and without even turning around, she said,” Come, come now. You do want that taste, do you not?”
Breathing in deep, a scent accosted him. An unfamiliar scent yet...
He entered a room he had never seen before. A room where you could not see the walls. They were covered and shared fabrics in colors of burnt amber and Tuscany brick. He paused at the door, and without even turning around, she said,” Come, come now. You do want that taste, do you not?”
Breathing in deep, a scent accosted him. An unfamiliar scent yet...
#orgasm
#seductive
#sensual
225 reads
12 Comments
fianaturie8
Fia Naturie
Fia Naturie
Poem Published
21st Oct 2024 2:37am
21st Oct 2024 2:37am
The Silver Fox and The Huntress
Let me tell you a story about the great silver fox.
You may think this is an animal that runs in the woods. In the wild, and well, I don't want to dispute that.
These woods are made of concrete and steel. The huntresses have set out in search of the Silver fox.
Legend has it that the reason he has survived so long was due to his virility.
He's cunning and adaptable. Says all the right words and touches all the right places.
The moon is full tonight, and the huntress is on a mission.
Will she be able to capture this fox? ...
You may think this is an animal that runs in the woods. In the wild, and well, I don't want to dispute that.
These woods are made of concrete and steel. The huntresses have set out in search of the Silver fox.
Legend has it that the reason he has survived so long was due to his virility.
He's cunning and adaptable. Says all the right words and touches all the right places.
The moon is full tonight, and the huntress is on a mission.
Will she be able to capture this fox? ...
#passion
#seductive
#sensual
248 reads
18 Comments
Liziantus-Marantus
Poem Published
19th Oct 2024 11:04am
19th Oct 2024 11:04am
Carnival Of Memories
I still remember the good old days.
When music plays and wind sways.
We would be happy in so many ways.
Carefree,freedom.
In your own home and room.
Love ,freedom.
To choose your husband,groom.
I remember when I was a kid and my grandma took me to a carnival.
Cotton candy,kebab.
And lots of toys for sale.
Happy music,my heart.
Feeling happy,swell.
There would be people all around.
Kids,adults,teenagers.
Who all came to celebrate.
Kids of all ages,who can't wait!
Some people came for...
When music plays and wind sways.
We would be happy in so many ways.
Carefree,freedom.
In your own home and room.
Love ,freedom.
To choose your husband,groom.
I remember when I was a kid and my grandma took me to a carnival.
Cotton candy,kebab.
And lots of toys for sale.
Happy music,my heart.
Feeling happy,swell.
There would be people all around.
Kids,adults,teenagers.
Who all came to celebrate.
Kids of all ages,who can't wait!
Some people came for...
#happiness
#hope
#motivational #uplifting
#motivational #uplifting
102 reads
1 Comment
Lowko
Jimi Tatz
Jimi Tatz
Poem Published
17th Oct 2024 11:07pm
17th Oct 2024 11:07pm
Carstr8ed
The good ol'days, it seemed so long ago,
With sci-fi flicks ‘bout robots and the underworld shows.
"Demolition Man," "Fifth Element," "Blade Runner," too,
Even "iRobot"... just to name a few!
It’s ‘ere now, sharp as a knife,
A world not like the one we knew in life.
Mechanoids, cyborgs, and robots on the rise,
The rich man buys ‘em, no surprise.
There is no need for workers clockin’ 9 to 5,
These bots work round the clocks, always alive.
While people beg for jobs and starve,
The wealthy laugh,...
With sci-fi flicks ‘bout robots and the underworld shows.
"Demolition Man," "Fifth Element," "Blade Runner," too,
Even "iRobot"... just to name a few!
It’s ‘ere now, sharp as a knife,
A world not like the one we knew in life.
Mechanoids, cyborgs, and robots on the rise,
The rich man buys ‘em, no surprise.
There is no need for workers clockin’ 9 to 5,
These bots work round the clocks, always alive.
While people beg for jobs and starve,
The wealthy laugh,...
#apocalypse
#curse
#fate
#mythology
#scifi
94 reads
0 Comments
DU Poetry : Fictional Prose Seeking Critique: Short Stories and Chapters from Books and Novels (Page 8)
