Least Read Satirical Poems
#satirical
DarkPopPrincess
Poem Published
22nd Apr 2024 1:30am
22nd Apr 2024 1:30am
The Madman Show Continues...Only Fan Girls
Dupglighost goes on dating site and sees the only fan girls.
Also sees only 1 dollar in his bank account.
Duplighost: 1 dolla! Cash it in the bank and be delusional and write 3 zeroes.
Also Duplighost: We'll be fine.
Also sees only 1 dollar in his bank account.
Duplighost: 1 dolla! Cash it in the bank and be delusional and write 3 zeroes.
Also Duplighost: We'll be fine.
#satirical
36 reads
1 Comment
missjem56
Poem Published
7th Jan 2024 1:06am
7th Jan 2024 1:06am
The Toilet Tree
I needed a toilet
With a tree
Or so it sounded to me
I ask at a chemist
(I think it was Boots)
For a toilet tree
But all they offer me
IS a sham poo
I go to the park
For a lark
And see a dog
Having a leg up
Against a tree
That wasn't quite right for me
Despite my idea initially
So i try another chemist
Asking again for a toilet tree
They offer me a per fume
Which smelt quite nice in a room
But cost the earth
And returning to my berth
Got to thinking
Afterall
That i no longer...
With a tree
Or so it sounded to me
I ask at a chemist
(I think it was Boots)
For a toilet tree
But all they offer me
IS a sham poo
I go to the park
For a lark
And see a dog
Having a leg up
Against a tree
That wasn't quite right for me
Despite my idea initially
So i try another chemist
Asking again for a toilet tree
They offer me a per fume
Which smelt quite nice in a room
But cost the earth
And returning to my berth
Got to thinking
Afterall
That i no longer...
#satirical
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
38 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
26th Mar 2024 1:21am
26th Mar 2024 1:21am
A Fishy Limerick
There once was a lady of
Hastings
Who was busy with her much time
wastings
When lost down a
twitten
She was immediately
smitten
With her fish, and chip supper
and mushy pea tastings
by Jemia
Hastings
Who was busy with her much time
wastings
When lost down a
twitten
She was immediately
smitten
With her fish, and chip supper
and mushy pea tastings
by Jemia
#limerick
#satirical
#funny #surreal
#funny #surreal
40 reads
1 Comment
missjem56
Poem Published
3rd Feb 2024 3:50pm
3rd Feb 2024 3:50pm
Floaters
Floating voters
Currently blocking
The sewage overflow
That lead
Through the middle of
The Houses
(of Parliament)
Where most of the shit
Resides
by Jemia
Currently blocking
The sewage overflow
That lead
Through the middle of
The Houses
(of Parliament)
Where most of the shit
Resides
by Jemia
#politics
#pollution
#satirical
41 reads
0 Comments
Rew
Poem Published
31st Jan 2024 2:11am
31st Jan 2024 2:11am
Drunk on Chance
I am drunk on the chance of my brief writes
as my pen chases its shade 'cross this page,
to a future as some bright leading light
Of fame as these writes write light to my nights
and I am hailed the greatest of an age
I am drunk on the chance of my brief writes...
as I believe I will reach greater heights
and take my rightful place on the world's stage
to a future of some bright leading light
and my blessed pen writes ' you have this right
and if need be...
as my pen chases its shade 'cross this page,
to a future as some bright leading light
Of fame as these writes write light to my nights
and I am hailed the greatest of an age
I am drunk on the chance of my brief writes...
as I believe I will reach greater heights
and take my rightful place on the world's stage
to a future of some bright leading light
and my blessed pen writes ' you have this right
and if need be...
#WritingPoetry
#villanelle
#satirical
#LifeAsAWriter
#PopCulture
41 reads
2 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
28th Feb 2024 5:07pm
28th Feb 2024 5:07pm
Miss Formalde Hyde
Doctor Jeckle
Once transmogrified
Into Hyde
Ventured into wedlock
(so i heard, or imagined)
And within a space
Of just two years
Mrs Hyde
Gave birth to a healthy baby girl
They (Mister & Mrs Hyde)
Named her Formalde
And despite of
Or maybe because of
Formaldes' interest in pickled things
Caused her to develop a problem
With a particularly pungent wind problem
Her persona was as grey, as the clothes she wore
She developed an interest
In at first pickling
But later preserving things
Initially...
Once transmogrified
Into Hyde
Ventured into wedlock
(so i heard, or imagined)
And within a space
Of just two years
Mrs Hyde
Gave birth to a healthy baby girl
They (Mister & Mrs Hyde)
Named her Formalde
And despite of
Or maybe because of
Formaldes' interest in pickled things
Caused her to develop a problem
With a particularly pungent wind problem
Her persona was as grey, as the clothes she wore
She developed an interest
In at first pickling
But later preserving things
Initially...
#murder
#satirical
#funny
41 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
4th Dec 2023 9:35pm
4th Dec 2023 9:35pm
Tulips
I once thought my lips
Were flowers
I was only about six years old
As my parents
Told me not to chew lips
We lived in Holland at the time
With plenty of Tulips
And chewed lips
And bicycles
And humongus cheeses
Sealed in red wax
Dented in places
Seemingly perhaps
By wooden clogs
As i grew older
I learnt to chew lips
Of others
But in a more gentle fashion
Adding a whole new meaning
To going Dutch......
by Jemia
Were flowers
I was only about six years old
As my parents
Told me not to chew lips
We lived in Holland at the time
With plenty of Tulips
And chewed lips
And bicycles
And humongus cheeses
Sealed in red wax
Dented in places
Seemingly perhaps
By wooden clogs
As i grew older
I learnt to chew lips
Of others
But in a more gentle fashion
Adding a whole new meaning
To going Dutch......
by Jemia
#satirical
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter #LifeCycle
#LifeAsAWriter #LifeCycle
42 reads
1 Comment
missjem56
Poem Published
7th Jan 2024 1:21am
7th Jan 2024 1:21am
Boris
Basketball player extraordinnaire
With the most uncontrollable hair
Became a zip wire butterfly
With a flag on each wing
Was a relief he didn't sing
phwa! phwa! phwa!
It was soon to be unfurled
His curious fascination with Peppa Pig World
A hobby of making buses, out of old wooden crates
And a handshake with a diplomat for nearly two minutes
The look on her face, it seemed like it was infinite
Phwa! phwa! phwa!
A Japanese kid challenged Boris in a Rugby game
Boris charged through him, left the kid nearly lame ...
With the most uncontrollable hair
Became a zip wire butterfly
With a flag on each wing
Was a relief he didn't sing
phwa! phwa! phwa!
It was soon to be unfurled
His curious fascination with Peppa Pig World
A hobby of making buses, out of old wooden crates
And a handshake with a diplomat for nearly two minutes
The look on her face, it seemed like it was infinite
Phwa! phwa! phwa!
A Japanese kid challenged Boris in a Rugby game
Boris charged through him, left the kid nearly lame ...
#politics
#satirical
#funny
42 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
16th Dec 2023 8:06pm
16th Dec 2023 8:06pm
Omnipresent?
Astral projection
Doppel gangers
Or perhaps i leapt through a worm hole
Or a portal
Or abducted by aliens
Whoever said i was at 1200 Postcards
For last Thursdays open mic
Sadly got it wrong
Sadly
As i would of loved to of been there
Unless i had been hypnotised
Or disguised as a cheese plant
(there are cheese plants there
and have oft wondered
whether they were cheese plants
or camouflaged customers!)
Or i was disguised as a bench
It must of been cunning, and sublime
As no poets were aware of my presence...
Doppel gangers
Or perhaps i leapt through a worm hole
Or a portal
Or abducted by aliens
Whoever said i was at 1200 Postcards
For last Thursdays open mic
Sadly got it wrong
Sadly
As i would of loved to of been there
Unless i had been hypnotised
Or disguised as a cheese plant
(there are cheese plants there
and have oft wondered
whether they were cheese plants
or camouflaged customers!)
Or i was disguised as a bench
It must of been cunning, and sublime
As no poets were aware of my presence...
#satirical
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter #surreal
#LifeAsAWriter #surreal
44 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
3rd Mar 2024 7:23pm
3rd Mar 2024 7:23pm
Crossing The Threshhold
Feeling a little harried
Coz you're getting married
Who's to be carried
Across the threshhold
A bit of a ballyhoo
When you both say "i do"
So nervous you could poo
Across the threshhold
When walking down the aisle
It will seem like a mile
As you try to do it in style
Across the threshhold
Or a registry office is no better
The groom is going to get her
When he produces a french letter
Across the threshhold
But it could be a curse
If the french letter burst
Not sure who...
Coz you're getting married
Who's to be carried
Across the threshhold
A bit of a ballyhoo
When you both say "i do"
So nervous you could poo
Across the threshhold
When walking down the aisle
It will seem like a mile
As you try to do it in style
Across the threshhold
Or a registry office is no better
The groom is going to get her
When he produces a french letter
Across the threshhold
But it could be a curse
If the french letter burst
Not sure who...
#marriage
#satirical
#funny #LifeAsAWriter
#funny #LifeAsAWriter
47 reads
1 Comment
missjem56
Poem Published
21st Sep 2023 10:01pm
21st Sep 2023 10:01pm
Mildred
i decided to go for a drink or three, so here is an insight into my absinthe self! (oh dear, here we go again, this takes an awful lot of typing with one finger- not that i'm missing any limbs of course, I just type with one finger!! i'm laughing at my silliness now, but i'm really going to cringe tomorrow morning when I read my own posting, so here goes(and it doesn't get any madder! and there was me thinking i'm going to attract someone!!!!! right game on and chocks away! this is what I wrote earlier whilst enjoying some absinthe: " alf ph't had traversed the universe at least twice,...
#satirical
#funny
#philosophical
48 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
7th Dec 2023 4:02pm
7th Dec 2023 4:02pm
Thumbthing To Think About
My right index finger
Is quite thick
My middle finger
Is very thick
My ring finger
Isn't quite as thick as the other two
My little finger however
Is highly intelligent!
by Jemia
Is quite thick
My middle finger
Is very thick
My ring finger
Isn't quite as thick as the other two
My little finger however
Is highly intelligent!
by Jemia
#satirical
#funny
49 reads
0 Comments
DU Poetry : Least Read Satirical Poems
