Narrative Seeking Honest Critique Poems
#narrative
faithmairee
Poem Published
20th Apr 2024 8:37pm
20th Apr 2024 8:37pm
The Lady Blue (Growing Desire)
#lover
#lust
#narrative
24 reads
4 Comments
faithmairee
Poem Published
20th Apr 2024 12:38pm
20th Apr 2024 12:38pm
The Lady Blue (The Crush)
How it all got started, I couldn't rightly say. All I remember now is how infatuated I was with this older man, Michael Eugene Maupin, who was my parents good friend before they died in a horrible boating incident. He was, in all truth, the most handsome man I had ever seen. I will never forget that boyish grin of his when I first saw him the afternoon he came through our front door carrying not one, but two bottles of fine wine. He lost no time in congratulating my parents on their tenth year wedding anniversary.
They thanked him and inquired as to where his lovely...
They thanked him and inquired as to where his lovely...
#crush
#narrative
84 reads
14 Comments
TheFormalDormouse
Poem Published
18th Apr 2024 2:17pm
18th Apr 2024 2:17pm
The Ballad of Sonic and Tails
or Rainy Morning Imagination
The day broke grey and full of rain,
two boys were in the dumps.
They couldn’t run around outside,
they were a pair of grumps,
they fussed and fumed about their luck
and then the power went out!
Their video games could not be played,
they’d have to do without.
Big brother had a splendid plan
to help them cure their ails.
Sonic the hedgehog he would be,
his bro’, his sidekick, Tails!
Their mission was to gather rings
across the USA,
the rings were of the...
The day broke grey and full of rain,
two boys were in the dumps.
They couldn’t run around outside,
they were a pair of grumps,
they fussed and fumed about their luck
and then the power went out!
Their video games could not be played,
they’d have to do without.
Big brother had a splendid plan
to help them cure their ails.
Sonic the hedgehog he would be,
his bro’, his sidekick, Tails!
Their mission was to gather rings
across the USA,
the rings were of the...
#narrative
37 reads
2 Comments
Lowko
Jimi Tatz
Jimi Tatz
Poem Published
14th Apr 2024 7:15pm
14th Apr 2024 7:15pm
Brickstone
3000 BC, welcome to Brickstone, with stone built blocks of flats. If you weren't from around here, then you tip-toe.
Chrysopraze Stone was a neanderthal badman. He was feared throughout the land of Bricks, just like he's the Sandman.
He had a low forehead, and his barnet was shaved to the wood. He had a sabre tooth shank that he carried around in the hood.
His wifey Amathyst was also good with her fists. You wouldn't criticise her cooking, or your facial mug would get chipped.
She was tall and she was blonde, Amazonian strong, the queen of the cave...
Chrysopraze Stone was a neanderthal badman. He was feared throughout the land of Bricks, just like he's the Sandman.
He had a low forehead, and his barnet was shaved to the wood. He had a sabre tooth shank that he carried around in the hood.
His wifey Amathyst was also good with her fists. You wouldn't criticise her cooking, or your facial mug would get chipped.
She was tall and she was blonde, Amazonian strong, the queen of the cave...
#narrative
#ShortStory
#prose
#historical
#nonfiction
71 reads
1 Comment
deadwolf
Poem Published
13th Apr 2024 00:09am
13th Apr 2024 00:09am
Random Ramblins #13
3:33AM
Pain hits hard enough to wake me up
~again… damn it… again~
prayin to empty bottles of pills
Ignite the soothing away of pain
please, refill… please
hands shakin & can hardly see
cant make it to phone, legs achin so bad,
been so busy perfecting hatred an resentment lately
that forgot to practice smiling
an bein grateful for what already got
though at the moment
cant seem to remember anything to be grateful for
3:33am
what the fuk is so special about 3:33
`~,,~`
Layin in bed nude for days...
Pain hits hard enough to wake me up
~again… damn it… again~
prayin to empty bottles of pills
Ignite the soothing away of pain
please, refill… please
hands shakin & can hardly see
cant make it to phone, legs achin so bad,
been so busy perfecting hatred an resentment lately
that forgot to practice smiling
an bein grateful for what already got
though at the moment
cant seem to remember anything to be grateful for
3:33am
what the fuk is so special about 3:33
`~,,~`
Layin in bed nude for days...
#gothic
#narrative
#prose
52 reads
1 Comment
deadwolf
Poem Published
12th Apr 2024 6:02am
12th Apr 2024 6:02am
Random Ramblins #12 ~ Window at night
Sittin here, at mine window at night,
by my fridge, drinkin beers in the cold day of it,
By my window, alone once again,
Tryin to figure out which one o us is sane, or insane,
Darlin don’t you know that men sometimes need time, on our own,
When there is no one left for you to blame, can you truly love me,
Turn you music on me
Spread your wings high o’er me
Hero’s often fade,
In the minds eye, front news,
With revelations of all that’s good in man,
Cosmic Queries come out strong,
In a place that does not belong, ...
by my fridge, drinkin beers in the cold day of it,
By my window, alone once again,
Tryin to figure out which one o us is sane, or insane,
Darlin don’t you know that men sometimes need time, on our own,
When there is no one left for you to blame, can you truly love me,
Turn you music on me
Spread your wings high o’er me
Hero’s often fade,
In the minds eye, front news,
With revelations of all that’s good in man,
Cosmic Queries come out strong,
In a place that does not belong, ...
#gothic
#narrative
#prose
40 reads
1 Comment
Kinkpoet
Poem Published
8th Apr 2024 3:01pm
8th Apr 2024 3:01pm
Hero’s Stories
blossoms flutter on ancient tree,
still capable of bearing fruit
black bird fully formed, takes flight.
some paths more hazardous than others.
select a wrong one, and destination
grows farther with each wing beat.
each detour, each obstacle, an opportunity.
the Quest its own reward.
some words old, significance forgotten.
bits added to bits over spans of time
stories imperfectly recalled,
flawed language shaping narratives.
in the end, defining ourselves by tales told,
pictures hung on...
still capable of bearing fruit
black bird fully formed, takes flight.
some paths more hazardous than others.
select a wrong one, and destination
grows farther with each wing beat.
each detour, each obstacle, an opportunity.
the Quest its own reward.
some words old, significance forgotten.
bits added to bits over spans of time
stories imperfectly recalled,
flawed language shaping narratives.
in the end, defining ourselves by tales told,
pictures hung on...
#identity
#narrative
#memories
48 reads
2 Comments
deadwolf
Poem Published
30th Mar 2024 10:45am
30th Mar 2024 10:45am
Frozen in my cocoon
Late days sky,
Cloudy, and peering through the leaves
Winds, strong, but welcome from the Arizona heat
Wind through the Palo Verdes makes a wall of sounds
Crickets singing,
joining in harmonic convergence in my Desert, that is silently loud
Loneliness pulled from the air, a forever sound never heard
The three snowflakes and a winter leave,
They are wonderful, forming out of nowhere
Cool night blowing,
Sounds of Tucsonan stirrings
Coyote howls, Javelina grunting, picking up olives and fruits
a bat flies low, the sound of wings...
Cloudy, and peering through the leaves
Winds, strong, but welcome from the Arizona heat
Wind through the Palo Verdes makes a wall of sounds
Crickets singing,
joining in harmonic convergence in my Desert, that is silently loud
Loneliness pulled from the air, a forever sound never heard
The three snowflakes and a winter leave,
They are wonderful, forming out of nowhere
Cool night blowing,
Sounds of Tucsonan stirrings
Coyote howls, Javelina grunting, picking up olives and fruits
a bat flies low, the sound of wings...
#winter
#spring
#narrative
#nostalgia
#dawn
82 reads
1 Comment
deadwolf
Poem Published
29th Mar 2024 7:00am
29th Mar 2024 7:00am
Untitled Words
Sittin here on my chair,,, writin
got the tv off
the doors & windows open
listenin to the sound of the birds
the last days of winters breezes
blowin through house and home
it smells an feels good
my good blanket pulled up & comfy
keepin this young old mans bones
warm like a smoldered fire
Jasper layin on the ground
next to me,
chewin on an empty 2 litter bottle I had just finished drinkin
makin me throw it,
he chases it, comes back
lays down & chews some more on it,
As I sit here
with words...
got the tv off
the doors & windows open
listenin to the sound of the birds
the last days of winters breezes
blowin through house and home
it smells an feels good
my good blanket pulled up & comfy
keepin this young old mans bones
warm like a smoldered fire
Jasper layin on the ground
next to me,
chewin on an empty 2 litter bottle I had just finished drinkin
makin me throw it,
he chases it, comes back
lays down & chews some more on it,
As I sit here
with words...
#narrative
#prose
#nostalgia
104 reads
4 Comments
faithmairee
Poem Published
27th Mar 2024 7:33pm
27th Mar 2024 7:33pm
Perverts, Politicians and Pyromaniacs
Psychopaths and perverts
Linger in the shadows
Of the night stopping only
Long enough to up the ante
In the war against malcontents
And fading politicians who are
Serving up deep-fried linoleum
To the public
When they're not selling
Propane to the pyros
Spurred on by
The cosmic karma backlash
Where the weak are
being spoonfed their
Daily dose of scorn
Somewhere, in the shadows
The perverts easily commiserate
Beating on their pale chests
Shouting "The beasts,
They will not die."
...
Linger in the shadows
Of the night stopping only
Long enough to up the ante
In the war against malcontents
And fading politicians who are
Serving up deep-fried linoleum
To the public
When they're not selling
Propane to the pyros
Spurred on by
The cosmic karma backlash
Where the weak are
being spoonfed their
Daily dose of scorn
Somewhere, in the shadows
The perverts easily commiserate
Beating on their pale chests
Shouting "The beasts,
They will not die."
...
#narrative
#shame
#misunderstood
113 reads
13 Comments
wallyroo92
Poem Published
18th Mar 2024 5:14am
18th Mar 2024 5:14am
Come at Me Bro!
The Great Decapod Crustacean War
General Clawdius Herman Shellby Pincer VIII stood on the rock
He had come from a long line of warriors since the Jurassic era
His family were more defined by their extra thick exoskeletons
Their species are one the longest living creatures on planet Terra
An army of a million crabs had gathered there in the ocean floor
Ready to go to war as General Pincer VIII encouraged the troops
He spoke to platoons, sergeants, chieftains, captains and crabtains
Advising that the enemy is fast and catches them in groups ...
General Clawdius Herman Shellby Pincer VIII stood on the rock
He had come from a long line of warriors since the Jurassic era
His family were more defined by their extra thick exoskeletons
Their species are one the longest living creatures on planet Terra
An army of a million crabs had gathered there in the ocean floor
Ready to go to war as General Pincer VIII encouraged the troops
He spoke to platoons, sergeants, chieftains, captains and crabtains
Advising that the enemy is fast and catches them in groups ...
#animals
#nature
#narrative #funny
#narrative #funny
104 reads
9 Comments
CarrionCrow44
Poem Published
3rd Mar 2024 10:13pm
3rd Mar 2024 10:13pm
Blue Until Black
Boy grew up quick
In a home without warmth
Memories of a mother he never met
A gypsy lady long drowned
His father remained
Half alive from the Great War
So he turned to liquor to kill the ones
That haunted his bedroom
The mines gave life
But stole everything in return
So many coughing up what kills them
Black lung laughing along
The boy went without
His clothes hanging onto ribs
Blacked up from his father’s warning
The boot is love as they say
One day he said enough
Took a rod and...
In a home without warmth
Memories of a mother he never met
A gypsy lady long drowned
His father remained
Half alive from the Great War
So he turned to liquor to kill the ones
That haunted his bedroom
The mines gave life
But stole everything in return
So many coughing up what kills them
Black lung laughing along
The boy went without
His clothes hanging onto ribs
Blacked up from his father’s warning
The boot is love as they say
One day he said enough
Took a rod and...
#narrative
67 reads
1 Comment
DU Poetry : Narrative Seeking Honest Critique Poems
