Limerick Poems
#limerick
Limerick poems, humorous and cheeky five line verses with a strict AABBA rhyme scheme. The first, second and fifth line rhyme, while the third and fourth lines are shorter and share a different rhyme. A limerick is a folk poetry form popular in the 19th century, typically naughty or obscene, and setting out to violate taboos.
missjem56
Poem Published
8th Aug 2024 4:50pm
8th Aug 2024 4:50pm
Screwed! (limerick)
There was a young dude
from Bude
Who was terribly terribly
rude
He bought a cheap
screwdriver
For the cost of a
Lady Godiva
Yet still he remained
unscrewed
by Jemia
from Bude
Who was terribly terribly
rude
He bought a cheap
screwdriver
For the cost of a
Lady Godiva
Yet still he remained
unscrewed
by Jemia
#funny
#limerick
#satirical
54 reads
0 Comments
poeticdelight
Hamid
Hamid
Poem Published
4th Jul 2024 1:11pm
4th Jul 2024 1:11pm
Water-Loo
There once was a man from some thin' pooh
Who fought in the war of dien bien phu
Once the war was over
He could then discover
That he has been stuck in waterloo
Waterloo. (Battle of Waterloo): the second meaning.
Who fought in the war of dien bien phu
Once the war was over
He could then discover
That he has been stuck in waterloo
Waterloo. (Battle of Waterloo): the second meaning.
#limerick
#metaphor
#parody
78 reads
5 Comments
poeticdelight
Hamid
Hamid
Poem Published
22nd Apr 2024 3:43pm
22nd Apr 2024 3:43pm
Time To Relax
Poetic Injustice
People tell me i am romantic
Sometimes, i even look pathetic
They just see Jekyll's grace
But, i Hyde the real face
The victims know my serial tactic
**********
A Voice Like Volcano
There once was a woman from Khartoum
Who wanted to sing like Oum Kaltoum
she first tried soprano
it was like volcano
that Oum KAlktoum woke up from her tomb
People tell me i am romantic
Sometimes, i even look pathetic
They just see Jekyll's grace
But, i Hyde the real face
The victims know my serial tactic
**********
A Voice Like Volcano
There once was a woman from Khartoum
Who wanted to sing like Oum Kaltoum
she first tried soprano
it was like volcano
that Oum KAlktoum woke up from her tomb
#limerick
94 reads
2 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
16th Apr 2024 00:34am
16th Apr 2024 00:34am
The Seagull Connoisseur
There once was a seagull
of Hastings
Had no time
for time wastings
When tourists
were about
He let out
a seagull shout
Then steal their food
for nice tastings!
by Jemia
of Hastings
Had no time
for time wastings
When tourists
were about
He let out
a seagull shout
Then steal their food
for nice tastings!
by Jemia
#limerick
#satirical
#funny
68 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
16th Apr 2024 00:27am
16th Apr 2024 00:27am
Bamoon!
There once was an old man
of the moon
Who behaved as a bit
of a loon
One day
when full
He'd give a
werewolf call
But sounded more like
a baboon!
by Jemia
of the moon
Who behaved as a bit
of a loon
One day
when full
He'd give a
werewolf call
But sounded more like
a baboon!
by Jemia
#limerick
#satirical
#funny #surreal
#funny #surreal
83 reads
1 Comment
missjem56
Poem Published
26th Mar 2024 1:21am
26th Mar 2024 1:21am
A Fishy Limerick
There once was a lady of
Hastings
Who was busy with her much time
wastings
When lost down a
twitten
She was immediately
smitten
With her fish, and chip supper
and mushy pea tastings
by Jemia
Hastings
Who was busy with her much time
wastings
When lost down a
twitten
She was immediately
smitten
With her fish, and chip supper
and mushy pea tastings
by Jemia
#limerick
#satirical
#funny #surreal
#funny #surreal
83 reads
1 Comment
Vision_of_insanity
Poem Published
31st Jan 2024 8:21pm
31st Jan 2024 8:21pm
A Not So Pleasant Experience
When a carnival comes to town
Cotton candy, makeup for the clowns
Don’t eat before a ride
Puking, people should hide
Always drink plenty of water.
Cotton candy, makeup for the clowns
Don’t eat before a ride
Puking, people should hide
Always drink plenty of water.
#limerick
113 reads
8 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
3rd Jan 2024 4:31pm
3rd Jan 2024 4:31pm
In A Pickle
There once was a man Mcfuddle
Who got himself into a muddle
He made himself a jerkin
Out of an out of date gherkin
And got in a bit of a pickle
by Jemia
Who got himself into a muddle
He made himself a jerkin
Out of an out of date gherkin
And got in a bit of a pickle
by Jemia
#limerick
#satirical
#funny
113 reads
1 Comment
Nizana
Lauryn
Lauryn
Poem Published
17th Nov 2023 1:49pm
17th Nov 2023 1:49pm
Horny Mother-to-Be
I’m one horny mother-to-be
It’s nothing that I could foresee
Men say that I glow
But all that I know is
My tits are now something to see
It’s nothing that I could foresee
Men say that I glow
But all that I know is
My tits are now something to see
#lust
#limerick
#pregnancy
379 reads
6 Comments
Rew
Poem Published
6th Nov 2023 8:42pm
6th Nov 2023 8:42pm
Limericks
My physicist father once said
" uranium decays down to lead "
but that " the gleam in his eye
decayed down to..." I?
I think Pa's Ma and Pa weren't wed.
Now, let us be abundantly clear
about black-holes, we must not go near,
they'd suck us right in
smear us very, very, thin
then spew us out of their rears...
There was a black hole out far
who swallowed a neighbouring star,
" hmmm, tasty" it quipped
and licking its lips,
rolled off to the nearest bar.
...
" uranium decays down to lead "
but that " the gleam in his eye
decayed down to..." I?
I think Pa's Ma and Pa weren't wed.
Now, let us be abundantly clear
about black-holes, we must not go near,
they'd suck us right in
smear us very, very, thin
then spew us out of their rears...
There was a black hole out far
who swallowed a neighbouring star,
" hmmm, tasty" it quipped
and licking its lips,
rolled off to the nearest bar.
...
#limerick
105 reads
0 Comments
Rew
Poem Published
5th Nov 2023 4:01pm
5th Nov 2023 4:01pm
Disclaimer: these Dirty Limericks are for a competition and are not representative of my work.
There was a young Beau from limerick
who had an unfeasibly large dick,
as he enters his Belle
the whole town heard her yell
"You're in the wrong hole, you fuck-wit! "
Now, this young man from limerick
(the one with the unfeasibly large dick)
well, his balls would clang
when he shagged his Mam
and that was their party trick.
That lusty lad from old limerick
thought he'd try...
who had an unfeasibly large dick,
as he enters his Belle
the whole town heard her yell
"You're in the wrong hole, you fuck-wit! "
Now, this young man from limerick
(the one with the unfeasibly large dick)
well, his balls would clang
when he shagged his Mam
and that was their party trick.
That lusty lad from old limerick
thought he'd try...
#limerick
#porn
#dirty
360 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
16th Oct 2023 4:10pm
16th Oct 2023 4:10pm
Sean, Not Unshorn (Limerick)
There once was a young man
named Sean
Who once slept
from dusk, to dawn
He had had
lots of fun
With Sambuka,
and rum
And met someone
that gave him the horn!!
by Jemia
named Sean
Who once slept
from dusk, to dawn
He had had
lots of fun
With Sambuka,
and rum
And met someone
that gave him the horn!!
by Jemia
#limerick
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
127 reads
0 Comments
DU Poetry : Limerick Poems
