A puzzle I am even unto myself…a mystery not even I can resolve. I have never understood why I do or act the way I do…the mystery never dissolves With every leap I take into a brand new day I blow myself away Thinking and over-thinking, analyzing and configuring myself like an unsolvable equation I’ve shot prayers up to the heavens asking the Almighty to explain, awaiting with anticipation For answers never answered…not even by the Almighty One. So, I’ve re-traced my footprints paved across the miles of my history and found...
Out of the blue blues Stains the walls blue Turns the lips blue Heart pumps blue Breathe the air blue Cold hands are blue Feet dark and blue Mind over matter blue Will it drown Will it float Will it become Out of the blue?
Darkness is creeping in Coolness kisses my skin Familiar churning in my gut Cheeks stained hot scarlet Tears sting my eyes Head pounding with pain Thoughts a tangled mess Unable to remain still Bricks rebuild my walls Solitude becons me Insecurities heightened Overwhelming emotions Darkness is now closer Pleading the dark to stop Please please stop...... Please stop...... Please... Stop
Walked home via Aldwych. Reflected that nothing really changes. I’m still walking about this city dragging my loneliness with me, putting on a front, whistling in the dark. It is getting darker all the time.” - The Kenneth Williams Diaries
Walking the streets at night, I look at windows overlooking alleyways and tangled gardens long since given up,
and picture myself inside those rooms just outside the dangerous corner of pitch, where anything might be lurking.
I’d never tell my grandmother, who once freaked out when I said that...
Once you’ve hit the bottom of the pond, You become content in the waters and forget about all of the pleasures that lay on the surface.
You find peace and tranquillity in the silence of the depths; bury and hide all negative thoughts, memories and feelings of regret. But without returning to the surface all positive opportunities remain undiscovered.
Return to the surface, give yourself a breath, remember to indulge in happiness. Cause although the depts are silent and emotionless, your stuck amongst the mess of your past regrets.
Suffocating inside my own skin My heart is cold and unloving Reaching out into the unknown The darkness is overwhelming My mind won't stop screaming Thoughts begin to consume me There is no place I can escape Allowing myself to be pulled in Must choose which road to take I've created many ways out Everyone's feelings are dismissed Everything I think is only for myself Worry not my loved ones Your hearts will heal quickly Cannot think about others now I don't want to care about the outcome All I want right now is...