Breakup Seeking Honest Critique Poems
#breakup
breakup seeking honest critique poems. Honest feedback has been requested for these poems.
Mental Breakdown poem
I feel my mind slipping away like a melting icecube on on a slab of polished concrete in the sun .
A night out of self abuse an mental disfunctions brings the worst out in a person.
The drink , the girls , the pointless hookups trying to fill the void that my heart once used to reside before she tore it from my chest ,
Playing catchup on lost time , time that I know true and well I can't get back, I don't want it back , I cherished every moment with her ,
The thought of biting down on the cold barrel of a shotgun brings me solice , knowing that that it all ends , one...
A night out of self abuse an mental disfunctions brings the worst out in a person.
The drink , the girls , the pointless hookups trying to fill the void that my heart once used to reside before she tore it from my chest ,
Playing catchup on lost time , time that I know true and well I can't get back, I don't want it back , I cherished every moment with her ,
The thought of biting down on the cold barrel of a shotgun brings me solice , knowing that that it all ends , one...
#depression
#breakup
#suicide
#MentalHealth
#SelfReflection
59 reads
2 Comments
Community
I lost all my friends
One day you're all together
Another day Years have gone by
I lost most of my friends
Some are gettin married
Others have kids
I lost all of my friends
There hasn't been a formal
Ceremony to admit to this
But really it's time to accept this
I tried to reach out to everyone
Yet that too faded away
Things just aren't the same
The nostalgia doesn't last long
Soon you find yourself losing touch
In a era in which people are always
on their phones, it's crazy how hard
it is for...
One day you're all together
Another day Years have gone by
I lost most of my friends
Some are gettin married
Others have kids
I lost all of my friends
There hasn't been a formal
Ceremony to admit to this
But really it's time to accept this
I tried to reach out to everyone
Yet that too faded away
Things just aren't the same
The nostalgia doesn't last long
Soon you find yourself losing touch
In a era in which people are always
on their phones, it's crazy how hard
it is for...
#breakup
#friendship
25 reads
2 Comments
Rollercoaster
Truth be told, I probably should have
ended up with you.
With your fleeting, stoic comfort
and manic disposition.
Those tight hugs that hurt in all of
the best ways. I've never recreated them.
Watching like old times as you'd drift off like a narcoleptic before the sun even set.
And what I wouldn't give for you to devour your food, and half of mine again. Grinning as I hear you lie to me.
Surviving your emotional Rollercoaster one final time.
Because you were always my favourite ride.
ended up with you.
With your fleeting, stoic comfort
and manic disposition.
Those tight hugs that hurt in all of
the best ways. I've never recreated them.
Watching like old times as you'd drift off like a narcoleptic before the sun even set.
And what I wouldn't give for you to devour your food, and half of mine again. Grinning as I hear you lie to me.
Surviving your emotional Rollercoaster one final time.
Because you were always my favourite ride.
#sadness
#love
#breakup
#UnrequitedLove
#FirstLove
52 reads
0 Comments
The Filament
There was this invisible thread
I know that’s so cliché really
But there it was, only perceivable in the right light
For me it was moonlight
For her it was sunlight
But oh how it shone
So bright everyone could see
Could see us, us together, us happy, us bonded and bound to one another
Us
We felt like it was strong, so strong
Like maybe if we went fishing it could reel in a shark
Not even the shark would see it coming
For me it felt like sturdy concrete
For her it felt like a sailor’s rope
Strong for me, flexible for...
I know that’s so cliché really
But there it was, only perceivable in the right light
For me it was moonlight
For her it was sunlight
But oh how it shone
So bright everyone could see
Could see us, us together, us happy, us bonded and bound to one another
Us
We felt like it was strong, so strong
Like maybe if we went fishing it could reel in a shark
Not even the shark would see it coming
For me it felt like sturdy concrete
For her it felt like a sailor’s rope
Strong for me, flexible for...
#happiness
#girlfriend
#heartbroken
#breakup
#FallingInLove
66 reads
2 Comments
Before and after you
I want to bloom with the flowers
Or flow with the air
Get lost in time for hours
And live with no care
I want to burn with the sun
And shine like the moon
Live with beings as one
And maybe
Just maybe you’ll come back too
But flowers don’t bloom
Not in this weather that I’m under
And you seem to have gotten lost with another
I don’t feel the air flowing through my lungs
I feel the hatred I’ve inhaled
Hatred you spout in your lying tongue
But you could care less if my breathing is ailed
Your...
Or flow with the air
Get lost in time for hours
And live with no care
I want to burn with the sun
And shine like the moon
Live with beings as one
And maybe
Just maybe you’ll come back too
But flowers don’t bloom
Not in this weather that I’m under
And you seem to have gotten lost with another
I don’t feel the air flowing through my lungs
I feel the hatred I’ve inhaled
Hatred you spout in your lying tongue
But you could care less if my breathing is ailed
Your...
#sadness
#love
#depression
#heartbroken
#breakup
74 reads
0 Comments
Goodbye Forever
I thought what we had was special,
But apparently only partial,
Only to me was this really something,
To you I was only a plaything,
Someone you could call pretty,
Then not talk to me for days, petty.
I know you're going through depression that you can't hide,
But that doesn't mean you can drag my heart along for the ride,
Don't worry,
I am not angry,
Just hurt, you see,
I wanted to call you my girlfriend,
But now I can't even call you my friend,
Because that would be a grim reminder of what I thought could be,
So around...
But apparently only partial,
Only to me was this really something,
To you I was only a plaything,
Someone you could call pretty,
Then not talk to me for days, petty.
I know you're going through depression that you can't hide,
But that doesn't mean you can drag my heart along for the ride,
Don't worry,
I am not angry,
Just hurt, you see,
I wanted to call you my girlfriend,
But now I can't even call you my friend,
Because that would be a grim reminder of what I thought could be,
So around...
#love
#depression
#relationships
#heartbroken
#breakup
54 reads
2 Comments
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO WALK AWAY
It's a shame that we have to take sometime to see the differences, between what we thought and what we have in someone else. For example sometimes during a relationship we come across a man child or woman child, who has no idea what is maturity as it comes from experiencing different types of relationships. For it is necessary to understand that we have to separate ourselves from the past of our pass relationships and not bring the old with the process of creating a new. For it is the truth about ourselves that sometimes we fear as, we don't see ourselves becoming afraid of opening up our...
#heartbroken
#breakup
#disappointment
#separation
#StreamOfConsciousness
60 reads
2 Comments
There are no Stars
There are no Stars”
I am not the kiss that could set you free…
More the symptom of the fever I feel.
Of all the blooms that one might steal,
Alas! I am not the roses to be.
Pieces of my sight remain imbedded in your eyes:
You see my view, though time renders you blind
And the thorns that burden the corners of my mind
Are the echoes of our silent goodbyes.
You see as though through my undying dreams,
In them, you sadly feel me accursedly choose
The hope alas! that I am doomed to lose.
And you alone know what this...
I am not the kiss that could set you free…
More the symptom of the fever I feel.
Of all the blooms that one might steal,
Alas! I am not the roses to be.
Pieces of my sight remain imbedded in your eyes:
You see my view, though time renders you blind
And the thorns that burden the corners of my mind
Are the echoes of our silent goodbyes.
You see as though through my undying dreams,
In them, you sadly feel me accursedly choose
The hope alas! that I am doomed to lose.
And you alone know what this...
#love
#relationships
#heartbroken
#breakup
#conflict
74 reads
0 Comments
Learning ( Heal )
A lesson learned is another chance earned
So walk away from the fires and the bridges you've burnt
Asking for forgiveness from another
Gives you reason to suffer
So forgive yourself
begin to recover
Cherish the moments that you left behind
You'll Become stronger and you will then realize.
The smile that you've now put away
wasn't a waste of time and you will be ok
Open your chest you'll begin to feel
Accept your mistakes
So you can let your heart heal
So walk away from the fires and the bridges you've burnt
Asking for forgiveness from another
Gives you reason to suffer
So forgive yourself
begin to recover
Cherish the moments that you left behind
You'll Become stronger and you will then realize.
The smile that you've now put away
wasn't a waste of time and you will be ok
Open your chest you'll begin to feel
Accept your mistakes
So you can let your heart heal
#depression
#forgiveness
#heartbroken
#breakup
#healing
99 reads
1 Comment
Love In The Time Of COVID

#relationships
#breakup
#spiritual
70 reads
1 Comment
1 AM
I read your words
And I felt nothing but lightning
In the space between what’s timeless
Not forgotten
But I can’t, I just can’t
Walk right back into your house
No longer my house
Like nothing happened
Like you never snapped and
Tossed my heart from the balcony
Where you use to sit with me
Laugh with me
Watch the fireworks with me
Now I’ll let you be
With those words floating freely
Down to the water’s edge
Where they can melt and stretch
Into all the sunsets we took pictures of
The dock where we held...
And I felt nothing but lightning
In the space between what’s timeless
Not forgotten
But I can’t, I just can’t
Walk right back into your house
No longer my house
Like nothing happened
Like you never snapped and
Tossed my heart from the balcony
Where you use to sit with me
Laugh with me
Watch the fireworks with me
Now I’ll let you be
With those words floating freely
Down to the water’s edge
Where they can melt and stretch
Into all the sunsets we took pictures of
The dock where we held...
#sadness
#breakup
#TimeHeals
#separation
#bittersweet
83 reads
3 Comments
Heart on my sleeve
Heart been broke so many times
I don’t believe in love
My mom says it’s my fault
But how could it be my fault
I know I wear my heart on my sleeve
Think it’s best if I put my heart away
It’s the best for me
if I put my heart on ice
It ain’t healing no more
See I’ve shed more tears than I’ve shared
My smile
These days everything seems so rainy
You got the best of me
Now I realize that people don’t deserve that side
So why I should I give it up
When y’all don’t deserve it
The weight of society on my shoulders ...
I don’t believe in love
My mom says it’s my fault
But how could it be my fault
I know I wear my heart on my sleeve
Think it’s best if I put my heart away
It’s the best for me
if I put my heart on ice
It ain’t healing no more
See I’ve shed more tears than I’ve shared
My smile
These days everything seems so rainy
You got the best of me
Now I realize that people don’t deserve that side
So why I should I give it up
When y’all don’t deserve it
The weight of society on my shoulders ...
#breakup
68 reads
0 Comments
DU Poetry : Breakup Seeking Honest Critique Poems