deepundergroundpoetry.com
A Letter Sent to the Spoon
Things between us just aren’t the same, you know? We used to have such explosive chemistry and I was instantly addicted to you, I sacrificed everything for us to be together. I miss the way things were back in the beginning, do you think we’ll ever have that back? Our relationship used to be full of painless injections, sleepless nights with confetti filled skies and shots that would actually get me high. Those intensely euphoric first months between us were undeniably the best days of my life and I fell in love with you, amazed by how your crystals would shine. You were.. perfect; beautiful anywhere, in every bag and in any light.
Now— we’re still together everyday but there hasn’t been any euphoria in months and I won’t lie, I’m not impressed with that shine anymore. It seems more like false advertisement than anything else, a shine that promises relief but only disappoints. You never keep your promises and you shouldn’t makes promises you can’t keep. I’ve grown tolerant of the chemicals you offer and you don’t seem to be as beautiful, maybe the light isn’t quite as bright anymore. Give me the confetti again, make me spin the way you did back then. I want color and you’ve made everything black, you know my favorite color is red. This just isn’t working out. You tricked me. You made me believe it could be colorful and blissfully numb forever, you’re supposed to take this pressure from my chest. You didn’t say anything about chemical tolerance, blood clots or cardiac arrests. And you definitely never told me our kind of love only resulted in— death. How do you get rid of the thing you need to live? How can I break up with you now that I’m incurably dependent, your deceitful shine is what did this. You’ve drown me in toxins disguised as romance, seduced me with crystals leaving me blinded and cursed me with this addiction. I hate you but I love you, this love is destructive. I keep chasing that rush we had those first months but if you really loved me, you’d keep me up tonight. Keep your promise— just this once.
Now— we’re still together everyday but there hasn’t been any euphoria in months and I won’t lie, I’m not impressed with that shine anymore. It seems more like false advertisement than anything else, a shine that promises relief but only disappoints. You never keep your promises and you shouldn’t makes promises you can’t keep. I’ve grown tolerant of the chemicals you offer and you don’t seem to be as beautiful, maybe the light isn’t quite as bright anymore. Give me the confetti again, make me spin the way you did back then. I want color and you’ve made everything black, you know my favorite color is red. This just isn’t working out. You tricked me. You made me believe it could be colorful and blissfully numb forever, you’re supposed to take this pressure from my chest. You didn’t say anything about chemical tolerance, blood clots or cardiac arrests. And you definitely never told me our kind of love only resulted in— death. How do you get rid of the thing you need to live? How can I break up with you now that I’m incurably dependent, your deceitful shine is what did this. You’ve drown me in toxins disguised as romance, seduced me with crystals leaving me blinded and cursed me with this addiction. I hate you but I love you, this love is destructive. I keep chasing that rush we had those first months but if you really loved me, you’d keep me up tonight. Keep your promise— just this once.
Published 5th Apr 2013
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5th Apr 2013 8:23am
Love and Hate... was not untill very recently that have learned how one can both Love and Hate another at the same time... it is like breathing and drowning at once, but it seems to happen, right on writing it out...
8th Apr 2013 11:28pm
You write on addiction so well it’s insane, your poetry is so emotion felt. I feel as though you write so well that it actually decreases my motivation to write, because I feel it can’t be described any better. I read in awe! With goose bumps on every hair follicle. As far as poetry goes you have something really special to offer.
Stop using, transition your writings to withdrawals, and the struggles of resisting daily addiction... Put it all together and make a book. I’ll be the first to buy it, whatever you do keep writing
Stop using, transition your writings to withdrawals, and the struggles of resisting daily addiction... Put it all together and make a book. I’ll be the first to buy it, whatever you do keep writing
