deepundergroundpoetry.com
mental rape
i hate you with a passion
and i could kill you without hesitation
(screaming mind...screaming soul...)
you were the ones who fuked up my mind
lets see how you like all these years of torment
(to crush you...to kill you...)
my desire is that you all feel how i feel
for just one day i want you to understand this anguish
(mental abuse...mental rape...)
twisting things making it look like nothing happened
darting hurtful words at me in barrage mode
(disturbing nightmares...disturbing sleep...)
heavy breathing silent screaming
violation on a bruised body
(too weak...too frail...)
kill me now
destroy my tainted soul
(leave me here...leave me to die...)
i can't live like this
why did you do this to me
[b](dirty lies... dirty actions...)
[/b]mentally scarred by you
mentally raped by you
(please save me...please end this nightmare...)
[/font]
and i could kill you without hesitation
(screaming mind...screaming soul...)
you were the ones who fuked up my mind
lets see how you like all these years of torment
(to crush you...to kill you...)
my desire is that you all feel how i feel
for just one day i want you to understand this anguish
(mental abuse...mental rape...)
twisting things making it look like nothing happened
darting hurtful words at me in barrage mode
(disturbing nightmares...disturbing sleep...)
heavy breathing silent screaming
violation on a bruised body
(too weak...too frail...)
kill me now
destroy my tainted soul
(leave me here...leave me to die...)
i can't live like this
why did you do this to me
[b](dirty lies... dirty actions...)
[/b]mentally scarred by you
mentally raped by you
(please save me...please end this nightmare...)
[/font]
Published 29th Sep 2010
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 1
reading list entries 0
comments 6
reads 957
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
29th Sep 2010 7:00pm
nice overall, the captions after each bar are very introspective and descriptive, loved them. The substance of the bars was good conceptually, but i believe that you could have portrayed more emotion and color here. Enjoyed the poem, awesome name by the way - bloodmerchant. Where did you come up with that? if you haven't already done so, i think that would be a very interesting piece of thought to write about
29th Sep 2010 7:19pm
thank you very much. and i shall be editing this, as this is my first draft of the poem; so i shall take on board what you said about adding more emotion :)
and my name BloodMerchant derives from when i was in school last year. i used to always lend my friends my horror/gore films and they nicknamed me the blood merchant lol :)
i've stuck by my name ever since. x
5th Oct 2010 5:55pm
oh my... miss ellis...the way you have channelled your negative emotions into this poem... is an art.
the imagery of the pain you're going through hurts me.
i agree with Trench on the bars, a little improvement could be seen here if you placed more emotions and eeriness.
i really enjoyed this poem but it brought tears to my eyes...
love it!
keep writing miss xx
the imagery of the pain you're going through hurts me.
i agree with Trench on the bars, a little improvement could be seen here if you placed more emotions and eeriness.
i really enjoyed this poem but it brought tears to my eyes...
love it!
keep writing miss xx
5th Oct 2010 9:06pm
launa you dont need to call me miss ellis lol just call me sarah :)
and yeah i was really in an emotional break down when i wrote this poem so i suppose it shows.
thanks again for reading x
19th Oct 2010 4:33pm
This poem just...made me feel like i was suddenly inside a dark movie, and i was being haunted by a spirit who could read my mind.
It was awesome, its great.
It was awesome, its great.
19th Oct 2010 5:01pm
