Depression

I try to sleep, but my eyes won't close.
I feel tears coming, to flood my sight.
It arrives quickly, like water from a hose.
I try to stop them, but my mind won't let me fight.

I think of my life. So lonely and sad.
I try to think happy, but they only cause bane.
I feel everyone hates me, they always act so mad.
I wish I could destroy my never-ending pain.

My friends ask me if I'm alright,
I lie and say yes, nodding my head.
I search for answers, in the dark and within the light.
I remember what my best friend had said.

He said not to worry, he told me not to regret.
I nodded, trying not to cry.
I knew I'd never pay my never-ending debt.
I wish I had told him good-bye.

Once a happy memory, now a painful thought.
I try to smile, but I don't want to hide behind another mask.
I try to remember my life, but my efforts are all so naught.
I try to be happy, but fail terribly at that task.

I can't talk to my family, they never understand.
They're always so critical, never giving me what I need.
Always thinking my life's fun, never seeing it bland.
Good thing they can't see how much I make myself bleed.

All I needed was to feel like someone does care.
To feel like someone would me miss when I leave
I want to feel like I'm being treated fair.
They act like they do, But can I really believe?

My soul is gone, my life broken.
I wish I had one more chance, to fix it.
If only I had been more outspoken.
My friends told me not to give up, to never quit.

So as I lay here awake, in my bed.
I try to think a happy thought.
I wonder if my leaving would become widespread.
Try to help me, for I cannot.

So as I close my eyes, ready to go.
I realize its too late to turn back.
I hope my passing will cause much woe.
I fall into sleep, my world turning black.